THURSDAY, APRIL 25, 2013 PAGE 5A ring in science him on cosby of gay erveda- and held an That's o hear THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN arlaria- bluff to a save get round hope in idac- ck. morning in ernalism shawnee Iannah Wise, se Farrington entertainment HOROSCOPES Because the stars know things we don't. Aries (March 21-April 19) Today is an 8 Figure out your finances. If you asked for a tax filing extension, now may be a good time to complete your return. Don't wait for October. Get it done and celebrate. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Vivid expressions of love and creativity bubble forth. Your team is on fire with productivity, and your leadership capabilities impress. It's a good time to get messages across. Haste makes waste. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Today is a 9 Get inspired by your work. The action may be backstage, but you can still participate. It's a great time to write your novel. Craft the infrastructure. Be bold, and prosper. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Today is an 8 Stifle outrage for now. Distractions are abundant. Keep focusing on what you want, especially your financial objectives. Relax with friends and something tasty later. You'll have an entertaining story. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Today is a 7 Put your own oxygen mask on on you can help others. Keep your nest tidy. Someone surprises you by acknowledging you for the value you provide. Don't gloss over it. Take it in. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today is an 8. It's all so clear now, handle priorities first, and explain it to co-workers. Accept a creative assignment. Also offer your support for another's project. Upgrade workplace technology. Expect another great learning experience Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Today is a 9 It's getting lucrative, but it's too easy to spend new income. Shop to get the best deal. Act quickly, but not impulsively. Love is all around: share your dreams and everything looks possible. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Todav is an 8 The next few days get active and fun. A turning point regarding home and career keeps you busy. Use your experience wisely. Get what you need from far away. It's refreshing. Curtail spending for now, and review priorities and plans. Deadlines are looming; keep your focus Clean out closets, and discover something that was missing. You have plenty, distribute it wisely. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Today is a 7 A new money-making scheme tempts, and a scheduling tool opens new possibilities. Your public life interferes with privacy. Some things may have to be left behind. Enjoy the attention. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Today is an 8 Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Todav is an 8 Take responsibility. Choose strategies and budget. Accept coaching from the competition. Imagine it flowing perfectly. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Today is a 7 You'd rather play than work; take advantage of the mood for future planning. Communication around scheduling eases crankiness. You don't always have to say "yes." A great burden lifts. ACROSS 1 Zinger 5 Nuisance 9 Oprah's network 12 Chills and fever 13 Viscous 14 Dove's call 15 Short musical works 17 "Hail, Caesar!" 18 Yule quaff 19 Fairy tale villains 21 Chic 22 Island porch 24 Formerly 27 Ever-green type 28 Break suddenly 31 Tasseled topper 32 Lobe locale 33 Gorilla 34 Dread 36 Attempt 37 Car sticker no. CHECK OUT THE ANSWERS 4 Cap with a propeller 5 Bluenose 6 A billion years 7 Hot tub 8 Mike of the ring 9 Simple wind instruments 10 Used a loom 11 Vetoers' votes 16 Heavy weight 20 Petrol 22 Memo-ize 23 Distorted 24 Vacationing http://bit.ly/ZJezZh 25 Born 26 Ivan's and Peter's wives 27 Bigfoot's cousin 29 Spring mo. 30 Vigor 35 Director Howard 37 "Friends" role 39 Soaks up some rays 40 Hodges of baseball lore 41 Seafood entree 42 Streaming video giant 43 Apple co-founder 44 Wildebeests 45 Whip 46 Catch sight of 49 Away from WSW 50 Do some lawn work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 SUDOKU | | | 8 | 5 | 4 | 3 | | | | :--- | :--- | :--- | :--- | :--- | :--- | :--- | :--- | | | | 2 | | | | | 1 | | 9 | 3 | | | 7 | | | | | 4 | | | | | | | 9 | | 3 | | 1 | | | | 8 | 2 | | 7 | | | | | | | 6 | | | | | | 9 | | | 7 | 3 | | | 6 | | | | | 2 | | | | | | 1 | 3 | 6 | 4 | | Difficulty Level ★★★ 4/25 Test Prep GRE GMAT LSAT Use your smartphone and snap this for an additional $50 discount! Need a test score for grad school? Improve your results with a KU Test Prep course: *testprep.ku.edu* Beneath the dreadlocked stresses and the inky armor of his many, many tattoos, Rob Zombie has always been a movie geek at heart, a fanboy trapped in the body of a motley shock-rocker. White Zombie, the now-defunct metal band he co-founded in 1985, took its name from a 1932 Bela Lugosi voooo thriller, and songs like "Living Dead Girl" and "Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy)" are littered with loving allusions to sci-fi and horror classics like "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" and "A Clockwork Orange." HOLLYWOOD After years of directing his own music videos, Zombie shambled into cinema with the backwoods creepshow "House of 1,000 Corpses" and its gleefully demonic successor "The Devil's Rejects." The latter established him as a legitimate filmmaker with a knack for blending grusome violence with kooky referential humor, like his decision to name every member of the murderous Firefly family after a different Groucho Marx character. The critical and commercial success of "Devil's Rejects" led to a glut of new projects, including a gratuitous remake of "Halloween" and its sequel, as well as collaborations with the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. --homage to David Lynch's early short "Six Figures Getting Sick," but in context its inclusion feels about as random and forced as a bad "Family Guy" cutaway gag. Zombie's 'Lords of Salem' conjures up limited freights As a longtime fan of the man's work and his obvious reverence for the horror genre (he was the original host of TCM Underground), it saddens me to report that Zombie's latest offering, "The Lords of Salem," represents a rare creative misfire: a glacially paced, grossly overproduced 101-minute music video The languorous plot centers on Heidi (the director's real-life bride Sheri Moon Zombie), a radio DJ and recovering drug addict from Salem, Mass. who becomes the unwitting target of an ancient coven of witches after playing a cursed vinyl record on her late night call-in show. Soon her apartment is overrun by gruesome new tenants, including a trio of cackling crones, a shadowy Yeti-type creature and, most ridiculous of all, a solemn, stump-like monster baby who communes with Heidi via two floppy umbilical cords. Another problem with "The Lords of Salem" is its star. Sheri Moon Zombie is an attractive character actress (she spends most of the film in various states of undress) who demonstrated unexpected dramatic chops as the Squeaky Fromme-esque Baby in "The Devil's Rejects" and later as the tragic mother of Michael Myers in 2007's "Halloween." Yet she struggles to convincingly portray the comparatively normal Heidi, whose apartment's groovy décor (including an impressive wall-size still from Georges Mélies' "A Trip to the Moon") suggests a rich interior life the script never finds the words to properly convey. As a rule, it's never a good idea to let your film's set design out-act your leading lady. Aside from some memorably depraved visuals in the third act - ahem, dildo-stroking demon priests - the only reason to see "The Lords of Salem" is to witness the gloriously over-the-top performances of its titular witches, especially the otherworldly Meg Foster ("They Live") as the ageless, sexless Grand High Witch and Kansas City native Dee Wallace (best known as the mom from "E.T.)" as an exceptionally bubbly bride of Satan. The rest is merely a gilded showcase for the banality of evil. Zombie, perhaps mindful of his material's shortcomings, frantically references everything from Mario Bava's "Black Sunday" and Benjamin Christensen's "Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages" to Roman Polanski's apartment trilogy ("Repulsion," "Rosemary's Baby") and "The Tenant") while failing to replicate even an ounce of what made those films so engrossing and terrifying in the first place. Yes, the scene where the painting in Heidi's bathroom starts vomiting blood is a nifty masqueading as a serious stab at slow-burn suspense. Despite all his gifts, Zombie doesn't have a subtle bone in his body, and "The Lords of Salem" tries so hard to seem artful and restrained that it eventually just becomes tiresome. Edited by Megan Hinman THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN BE A PART OF ONE OF THE NATION'S BEST COLLEGE NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING STAFFS HIRING SOON FOR SUMMER AND FALL 2013 OPEN POSITIONS INCLUDE - CLASSIFIED ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES * * ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES * MARKETING SPECIALISTS * * GRAPHIC DESIGNERS (BOTH PRINT & DIGITAL) * TO APPLY, **YOU MUST** ATTEND AN INFO-SESSION WEDNESDAY (4/24) 7:00 PM * STAUFFER-FLINT 100 FRIDAY (4/26) 3:00 PM * STAUFFER-FLINT 100 MONDAY (4/29) 7:00 PM * STAUFFER-FLINT 100