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Isn't it amazing how humans can stand up and walk? Most animals have to use all four appendages to get around.
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I'm a virgin
The sudoku is shaped like a horse. Day made.
STOP WHISTLING IN JEFF LANG'S CALC
LECTURE
FYI: Appailed parking tickets don't go away. Six months later they will uphold the ticket and demand a king's ransom.
Beer meet mouth, mouth meet beer.
I think you two are going to get along just fine.
If you whisper in a silent class, everyone still hears you.
Kansas; if it's not the Kansas City area or Lawrence, no one cares. Editor's note. The Final Four does.
Here's a wake up call; only 25 school days till Stop Day!
Seagulls love Kansas. I played with them often as a young child.
That moment on a test when the only thing you know is your name and you just start laughing.
Now the only question is what kind of award to give to Ty Gardner.
One day, I'd like to see someone either get a 10 or a 1 in the horoscope section.
Preferably a 1.
So to meet Jeff Withey I have to make a fake Twitter account?? Challenge accepted
I believe I learned shapes in kindergarten.
MONDAY, APRIL 8, 2013
Unless Kunited or Ad Astra can get Andrew Wiggins to come to KU, I'm not voting.
How dare you wear a VCU sweatshirt on campus? Too soon!
Currently looking for lessons on how to read a newspaper in mildy windy conditions without looking like I'm wrangling a rabid kite.
It's tank day, bro. Where's yours?
Really?
If they wrote "Drop Kick" in front of Murphy Hall signs it would be referring to the band.
POLITIC
I already miss basketball.
Nothing more annoying than drunk freshmen on a Saturday night.
Salmon colored shorts don't go with everything. Yes I'm talking to you, frat
And the fountains turn back on!
Spring has sprung!
Your reason for wearing leggings in the winter was "they're so warm." "It's now 70 degrees, what's your excuse?
How to use language to create laws
I has recently come to my attention that if I wish to get my most extreme beliefs turned into law, all I have to do is put the words "defense of..." before them. Sure, the method isn't fool-proof yet, but I figure if enough far-right Republicans have their way, all of our laws will read like that.
After all, we started with the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which has been so unsurprisingly controversial. As more of the country grows to accept or act in favor of the LGTBQIA community, DOMA falters and seems to be crumbling slowly. Yet there's something in the name — it's not called the "we don't believe homosexual people have legal rights" act or the "we hate gay marriage" act, yet it's really the same thing. So it's not so much the deed that the act does, but the name the act has.
Clearly I wasn't the first to figure this out, because two Rowan
County representatives in North Carolina recently decided to give the "Defense of" trend a go. These men are now pushing for the Defense of Religion Act (which I shall hereafter call DORA), which would allow prayer in public institutions, including county commission meetings and schools. It has also been suggested that it would reopen the debate about the line of separation between church and state.
For as long as I can remember, the line between church and state has always been more of a wall. It's never been a line I thought someone could accidentally cross. What's interesting is that Kansas legislators have been itching to destroy the die altogether and have made only a little progress, most of which has been labeled by the rest of the country as radical. While DORA seems to be getting a similarly negative response, it has raised the question of where the line
between church and state really sits and has caused many to pull out a constitution and check for themselves. In the few days since it was suggested, DORA has gone viral as an example of radicalism and a threat to the first amendment. Even if it's just to gather viewers, the national news media has already caused quite a scare, and at the time this article was written, it had only been two days since the proposed act was first noticed.
So what's different? The name Which brings me back to my point. Any belief can become law if you are defending your belief rather than attacking
someone else's. The key is in the wording. By "defending" marriage and religion, two sacred rights in our country, the proposers come off as worried individuals rather than nosy busy-bodies. It doesn't matter what the act actually does as long as the name sounds patriotic.
I figured I should try out this new naming trend. Who knows? Maybe a Kansas legislator will see it and try to put it into action. I've already named it for them, after all.
1) Defense of Freedom Act (DOFA) — All people have the right to do everything they want whenever they want however they want. Anarchy shall rule.
2) Defense of Parents Act (DOPA) — It would be recognized that parents know everything and should be allowed to know every detail of their offspring's life with no age restriction. (In other words, every college student's worst nightmare) Until death do they part?
3) Defense of Coffee Act (DOCA) — Coffee would be sold at a discounted price while all other beverages would cease to be sold so as not to interfere or compete with the coffee market.
4) Defense of Sex Act (DOSA)
— Sex is meant to be between a man and a woman, within a marriage. Because this act is put into place, all human beings, especially teenagers, will follow it blindly. They will realize the error of their ways and will come to the light. Or something like that.
5) Defense of Testosterone Act (DOTA) — Men are inherently better than women. To show this, every Thursday all the men of America will pause at noon and beat their chests dramatically to show their dominance.
Wenner is an English and History major from Topeka
SOCIETY
Don't let life get in your way to reach out to your loved ones
The clock reads 2 a.m. when my cell phone's ringer violently awakens
me. As the sluggishness of my body starts to wear off like a bad hangover, I grab my phone. Ten missed calls all from the same number. Horrific thoughts start to fill my head. My phone alerts me there's a new voicemail. I'm hesitant to listen to it, but curiosity and fear consume my body like an addiction. I hit the voicemail button. After I listen to the message, I can't get it to stop playing in my head. I'm paralyzed by it. I was told there was an accident and now someone I love is dead. My memory is hyperactive, remembering the memories we shared. A strong sense of guilt brings me back to the harsh reality. The guilt is waiting until later (in this case, never) to tell this person how much they meant to me and for being too self-absorbed with my life to reach out. I'm sobbing, cold and alone. My life is in a million pieces.
And then I wake up.
Sometimes later never comes.
It's a nightmare that happens too often, but brings clarity to my life. It reminds me how important each day is; every day is a blessing. Life doesn't come with a guarantee. Neither does tomorrow.
I think it's important we think about that when we tell ourselves that we'll do something later – there is nothing you are doing right now that is more valuable than never doing something.
This is ironic because we live in a digitally advanced society that offers sites, apps and services that interconnect people at the touch of their fingertips or at a click of a button.
How is there no time right now when this generation has championed the term "multitasker"? Why are we waiting until later when we can do multiple things at once?
Maybe I'm being to idealistic in my columns. It's ideal that people get the most out of life. It's ideal to be reminded that you are loved. It's ideal to see the beauty in life and to have an optimistic attitude toward life. Maybe people do want these things, but right now they are too busy to focus on what's really important in their lives. Maybe it
is society telling us what's important and setting cockamamie expectations to fulfill a spurious void that we created.
Maybe people need to be more realistic and understand life is happening now, not later.
I'm not concerned with who is to blame for why we procrastinate living our lives. I'm more concerned with having you realize that and doing something about it. I don't write my columns for myself. I write them for people who have the power to make a difference and will. I'm just one man behind his computer writing a column. But, I'm trying to enable people like you to make the world a better place right now, not later. I do this because there is something we can all offer the world. For me, at least right now, it's writing motivational columns to tell people to make a difference. It might not sound like much, but at least I'm making an impact.
What kind of impact do you want to have? Whatever it is you just thought of, go and do it now, not later. Never let the "L" word affect you, again.
Bierwirth is a senior majoring in journalism from Overland Park. Follow him on Twitter @BroyennBorirth
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
Who do you want to win the NCAA title Monday night?
Follow us on Twitter @UK_DUP_News. Tweet us your opinions
and we just might publish them.
@acatsizzle
@UKD Dipment Michigan. You can be mad if you lost to the national champion. #RCHJ
@TheTrentJohnson
@UBK Diplomat Obviously Louisville. We have to keep our fellow bird mascots going strong.
RELATIONSHIP
Dating younger may be better for success
This month as I have anticipated turning another year older come Saturday, I couldn't help but reflect on age and how and when it makes a difference in the dating game. The first time I dated and then broke up with a younger guy in high school, I swore never to "date down" again.
A few years later, I broke my rule and dated another younger guy, who was coincidentally best friends with my ex. And when that went south, I renewed my vow and have been faithful to it since.
But as I prepare to blow out 23 candles, I've had to wonder what's really the matter with younger guys, and I couldn't actually think of much. So with that, this week I'm a heroine for the younger fellas: if you've already botched your New Year's resolution, you should make a new one not to oust a guy over age starting now.
First of all, younger guys tend to be eager to please. Of course you can interpret that as you will, but this holds true outside the bedroom too. Some younger guys may be afraid they can't give you everything an older guy can and will be motivated to compensate for it. Of course, relationships that are one-sided are doomed to fail, but at least you won't be the one fighting for validation like you might with someone older.
Also, according to Glamour magazine, younger guys come with less relationship baggage than their older counterparts. As a result, your risks of encountering a relationship freak-out only a few months in brought on by a tragic past with a cheating girlfriend are lower with someone who's a year or more your junior.
Younger guys aren't as jaded either. Older guys may be nice in that they are more mature and don't have to resort to sneaking
With all that said, younger guys aren't for everyone. If you're in it for the long haul and can't stand a guy with a dirty apartment, you should consider looking for a partner elsewhere. But if you're in the business of having a low-stakes relationship, don't knock it until you try it.
It's important to keep in mind that some older and younger guys don't fit the molds of their respective age groups and may deviate from the norm accordingly. But in the end, age is not just a number, and when you can truly evaluate what you want in a relationship then use that number to your advantage, both you and your younger or older guy will start to reap the benefits.
Keith is a graduate students from Wichita in education. Follow her on Twitter @Rachel_UDEKheth
through windows to get into bars, but with age, they have a more weared mentality. In my own experience, the old guys have been more serious, more dramatic and less willing to indulge. If you prefer fun over seriousness in relationships, you may be happier with a younger guy.
Finally, while young guys are eager to please, they aren't eager to get married. Moving in and tying the knot are generally not on their radar, so if you're not ready to share an address or are uninterested in saying, "I do," a younger guy would be a good match.
@UKD Opinion Louisville! They totally deserve it! And they have the nicest fans
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