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PAGE 5A
opinion
Well, if you really think about it, watermelon-flavored things don't taste like watermelons either. For example, watermelon Four Loko tastes like hairspray.
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CAPS LOCK IS SO ANNOYING.
Drinking milk from a bowl is improper?? Wasting milk is more improper.
To the girl who gave up on parallel parking her smart car; maybe next year.
Graduation is like pregnancy. you're either pregnant or you're not.
I really want to put a Switzerland flag as my profile picture on Facebook to confuse all the people posting those red equal signs.
If it doesn't warm up soon I'm trans-
ferring to FGCU.
The person at the bus stop with me is just staring at me. I'm scared.
I often reminisce about how it would feel if I had a second thumb. If we can do so much with one, imagine what we can do with two.
Sorry not sorry for annoying you on Wescoe. I think you should try to care where $444 of your money goes every semester.
If you come to class in uggs and PIs, go home. You're not ready for college.
Trying to play ketchup, so I mustered up some energy, and I relish the fact I'm done with those papers... Condiment practical uses.
This is by far the wonkiest NCAA tournament I've seen. But I like it, as long as KU is still in it!
The sun is shining and the grass is green. Under the three feet of snow, I mean,
What?! Those shorts are awesome! They help me stay hidden in the crowd at AFH
How do you feel after saving thousands on your car insurance by switching to Geico? Happier than Jeff Withey at a block party.
Contrary to popular belief, Shnozbarries DO taste like Shnozbarries.
I was just raised to not drink the milk from my bowl in public, but Mrs. E's could be considered five star, right?！
Does a Michigan shirt really seem appropriate this week?
Come on people it's not that hard to infer. They were asking if it was OK to become a gas station attendant.
You know what they say about people with big shoes... Big socks.
THURSDAY, MARCH 28, 2013
Dear girl who wants boys to keep wearing colored pants, all pants are a color technically :)
Forget graduation... I'm ready for retirement.
I can't wait until summer so that I can complain about how hot it is, and how I wish it was winter again.
On Sunday, I had the privilege to watch our beloved men's basketball team lay into the Taroheels in a way I could have only dreamed of. Granted, the first half of said game could've been replaced by a Benny Hill montage, but at the end of the day, we won, and were moving on.
How to prepare for the Sweet Sixteen games
That's right baby, Sweet 16.
Now, unlike my sweet 16,
where I got lost at a Sea World
for three days surviving only on
fish parts the penguins didn't
want before be rescued by the
dolphin trainer, this party sounds
like it's going to be one hell of a good time. If last year is any indication of how crazy the people of Lawrence are ready to get when their Jayhawks blow through another round of opponents, this
year will most likely become an all-out riot. That being said, here's a little advice for the ensuing madness.
NO SUPERSTITION IS TOO FARFETCHED
I don't care if you have to wear the same beer-covered cut-off tee shirt from last season. You pull that baby out, dust it off and throw it on because leaving that thing in the cupboard isn't doing anyone any favors. Maybe you were watching the game in your old apartment last year when we went to the Final Four. Well, now's your chance to become an expert lock picker and keep the tradition alive! Just bring along a six pack of your favorite beverage as a peace offering to whom ever might live there now. And remember to wipe your feet.
You never know when festivities will arise as a result of a Kansas win, so it's best to keep yourself strapped at all times with one of these. Every good party needs a hype man (or woman), plus an air horn helps you let everyone know that your party group means business. Think of it this way, if you get lost in the crowd downtown this season, what better way to find your
KEEP AN AIR HORN HANDY
friends than with an obnoxious display of air horn-age?
REMEMBER TO HYDRATE
GET YOURSELF A GOOD PAIR
This one is crucial. No one likes a sickly party crasher, so stay on top of your game. You think Withey or Releford get to cop out and get dehydrated? Absolutely not! It's your job to alternate between cans of Natty Lite and water, between shots of Evan Williams Green and Gatorade, even taking a minute to lap up some condensation from the bar's air conditioner between swigs of moonshine will help you stay healthy and in fighting shape.
OF ATHLETIC SKILLS
This might sound like a gimmi, but you'd be surprised how many people wear the wrong
footwear to sporting event parties. Ladies, this is not the time for you to get all dolled up and wear your new, cherry-red four-inch pumps; save that crap for dollar night at the Hawk. Go out and buy yourself a solid pair of Nike Shox so every time McLemore drops a three you can jump up on your feet and shout with the rest of us.
These are just a few of the basics here, but if you stay sharp and watch your surroundings, you'll catch on quick. Good luck and Godspeed.
ENTERTAINMEN1
Crawford is a senior majoring in journalism from Olathe. Follow him on Twitter @brett cra.
Producers lost the reality in reality television series
Have you ever sat down and watched a reality TV show such as "Survivor," "The Real World," or a dating show like "The Bachelor" and say, "Wow this would never happen if there weren't cameras around."
Well, I have, too, and we're most definitely not the only ones.
Reality television shows are no longer "reality." Even though there is no script, there are still guidelines set by the producers that need to be followed, and this manipulates the already unreal situation.
Yes, I agree that a long time ago, when reality TV became popular, they were reality, but nowadays people are just looking for their 15 minutes of fame or trying to live up to the hype and expectations of previous seasons.
Just look at "The Real World." The first season is reality because the people don't have any expectations to live up to, or they don't know how famous the show will be so it is easy to be yourself in this situation. But now, the show is famous and on its 28th season, so people want to be on it to begin their acting careers or become a celebrity. These people are forced to cause drama and
start arguments because that is what the producers want in their show. Reality TV shows would not even be aired on television if there was no conflict. These people are forced to put up an act for the cameras because that is what made the show so successful in the past; why change it?
Or what about dating shows like, "The Bachelor"? It is easy for people to lie to make them stand out over the other candidates, but in real life, people have nothing to lie about because they are not in a competition while dating. The cameras make people much more fake just so they can stay around on TV longer. I'm sorry ladies, but this is not how you find your so called "prince charming". These people don't fall in love with each other, but rather fall in love with the thought of winning the competition.
Just look at the statistics. Out of the 24 possible couples, only four are still together. That is a pretty low percentage, seeing it is the most romantic show on television. It's not "happily ever after" for these couples, but rather, a reality breakup shortly after the final episode was shot.
So do you believe me yet? Or do I need another example about how bad reality TV is today?
Well, here is one more, just in case.
"Survivor." There is not much to say about this show because it has been aired since the turn of the millennium in 2000. These people already learned how to "survive" on these islands because they have seen the tactics that others have used in previous seasons. They understand how to team up and win immunity, so this reality show can't really be reality anymore after 26 long seasons.
Don't believe people when they say reality television is still reality because honestly, they are just talking a lot of hot air.
Carroll is a junior majoring in English from Salem, Conn.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
Where or how are you watching the men's and women's Sweet Sixteen games?
Follow us on Twitter @UKD_Opinion. Tweet us your opinions, and we just might publish them.
LIFE
Home belongings reflect true self
The walls of my apartment are lined with mirrors. Kurt Vonnegut's fictional character Kilgore Trout called them "leaks"
When I walked out of my apartment just before the first visitor arrived, I felt like staying behind and explaining what all these things meant. Why should they get this glimpse of who I am without any context?
Once I decided to not renew my lease on my apartment, First Management scheduled several possible tenants to come look around my apartment to spark their interest. While I cleaned up my apartment—which, I admit, is almost always trashed—I realized that the visitor would get a complete view of exactly who I am without ever meeting me. The posters on my walls, all the books on my two bookshelves, my unmade bed, and the photos of my family and friends on my refrigerator all show some aspect of me.
These leaks reflect all the things that make up who I am and how I identify myself; my beliefs, which sports teams I support, my favorite films and all the ideas from the books I read. These leaks are the posters that I covered the white walls of my apartment with. And until recently, I didn't realize how much they say about me.
I wanted to tell the visitor that I support Chicago-based teams because my family originates from Chicago. I wanted to explain that I don't make my bed because I'm just going to mess it up again. I wanted to show the visitor all the books I've read and which ones are great and which are awful. I wanted to explain the family photo that clearly shows that I'm an inch taller than my sister, although I believed the opposite for several years. I wanted to explain the photo of me standing next to my Spanish teacher from my freshman year of high school, and how I haven't actually spoken to her since that photo.
I wanted to tell this visitor my life story.
But then it happened. I actually got this opportunity.
All of a sudden, I'm extremely uncomfortable. I don't want these people to know who I am—or at least not directly. I don't want to see them judge me. I didn't want to explain all these artifacts about my life to them. I wanted them for me and me only. These leaks are for me to reflect my own life back to myself.
Each day I wake up and see Michael Jordan staring at me. I see a copy of the Kansan front page when Danny Manning and the Miracles won the national championship right next to the Kansan front page of Mario's Miracle. Don Draper and Derrick Rose watch over me as I sleep. And my whole family sits nicely smiling on my fridge.
A few days ago as I walked out of my apartment, a mother and daughter were standing at my door waiting for someone in the building to walk out of their apartment just so they could ask if they could look around. I let them in after calculating the probability of them trying to rob me and realizing that I have nothing of worth to steal—all in one millisecond. I was now watching the visitor judge all the leaks into my personal life. They were seeing exactly who I was right in front of me.
These leaks are for me to remember who I am and what I represent. Someone else can look at them, but it doesn't matter what they see. It only matters what I see.
In August, I will move out of my apartment, and these white walls will be filled with leaks into someone else's life and how they like to see themselves in the mirror.
Lysen is a senior majoring in journalism from Andover.
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