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MONDAY, MARCH 11, 2013
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
MONDAY, MARCH 11, 2013
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BEST FRIENDS
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
LIVING TOGETHER CAN STRAIN FRIENDSHIPS
HANNAH PIERANGELO
hpierangelo@kansan.com
It's a new school year, a new semester, and you have a new living arrangement. You and your best friend are going to share an apartment together off campus. It seems like the perfect situation. However, as the semester drags on, you are learning more about your best friend and his or her habits and realizing that perhaps this was a mistake.
Of course, that situation is not true for everyone going into an apartment with a close friend, but you should definitely keep in mind that a few personal habits, schedules and conflicts will arise during a living arrangement. Will you be able to handle your best friend? Before ending up in an unpleasant situation, take a closer look at your potential roommate and don't be afraid to say no.
As friends, you may not think about the habits, daily rituals and mood swings of your best friend. When you live together, everything is thrown at you at once. You will be sharing space and time together and some boundaries have to be set and agreed upon. Compare how you and your best friend do certain things and decide whether it will be a problem for you. For example, a neat person may find difficulty living with someone who is content with a messy floor. In personal spaces, it might not matter, but in shared areas like the kitchen and living
room, living with an especially clean or especially messy person could make a difference.
Personal space is important as well. Sometimes you just need some time to yourself. But what if your best friend invites some people over or wants to watch a movie while you study? Tension can arise quicker than you think.
There is nothing wrong with deciding not to live with your best friend. If you already know that living with him or her is going to cause problems, just tell them no. It may hurt their feelings a little, but remember that you are not going to stop being friends, you just are not going to live together. If your personalities and habits are too different, let them know how you feel about the situation. It is much easier to prevent a conflict than to navigate through one.
Living with different people does not mean you can't still be friends. You know you go well together from past experience and maybe he or she is a fun person to hang out with, go out with, or work with. By all means, stay best friends forever. If you do decide to live together, your friendship could come out stronger than before, or it could be a little fractured. Arguments and frustrations are not uncommon between roommates and some sort of conflict will always arise. It helps to have a good friend by your side, but it also helps to have a good friend that can deflect or prevent problems as well.
Although living with your best friends may sound like a good idea,the close quarters could lead to problems. Choosing to live with new people and develop new friendships may be the best option.
ILLUSTRATION ASHLEIGH LEE/KANSAN
Edited by Jordan Wisdom
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