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My mom already called dibs on the drummer.
I'm a Republican who doesn't care about basketball. I think I picked the wrong school.
I wonder if I'll be tested over: the portion of my textbook written by my professor.
The walk to JRP makes me recconsider my education major every time.
FALSE! Wescoe was going to be a 25 story skyscraper. I'm sure it's al ready 25 feet.
Mellophone: a phone that has a laid back demeanor.
Seeing Jeff Withey walking around is like running into a legendary pokémon.
Why would you ever want to stop wearing sweat pants? live in sweat- pants
From personal experience, I agree. The mellophone players arc where it's at.
LEGS FOR FINGERS OR FINGERS FOR LEGS?
I read the FFA to better my day. Not to have the urge to punch people in the face when they talk about kids.
I just saw a group of art majors walk through the engineering courtyard. They looked so lost...
You know you're a college student when you are eating peanut butter straight from the jar.. With a fork.
This guest lecturer resembles a very aggressive snapping turtle...
To the older gentleman with the fedora: I'm diggin' your hat, bro.
Spring break, you're late. I was expecting you a week ago.
Rule of thumb. If you don't have anything nice to say, always text it to the FFA.
MONDAY, MARCH 11, 2013
Should I be worried if the University continuously sends me offers for free self defense classes?
This is a good day to roll all your windows down in your car and share your music to the campus.
I believe there is a clear sign that there aren't supposed to be skateboards on campus. ?
These squirrels are vindictive, they're trying to break into my house! What did I ever do to them?
If they don't catch on to a "Boy Meets World" reference, don't EVER date them.
I found Waldo today at Snow.
This is Kansas University, it's KU not UK, this isn't Kentucky! Editor's note: This is the University of Kansas, not Kansas University.
I met a boy in a tie today who was neither in a frat or going to a career fair! I'm sold. McLemore take note. #classify
Shout out to Oklahoma State
Goats could benefit campus in many ways
We've all seen it. The video begins with Taylor Swift singing "I Knew You Were Trouble," and next thing you know, a goat is screaming along with the music. Goats have received attention recently for their featured vocals in some of today's popular hits; however, few realize the potential of goats to be revolutionary.
I began thinking about goats as more than just adorable creatures after seeing Rich Addicks's short film, "Weed War." This film is seriously incredible. It shows Mark Harbaugh, Patagonia fly-fishing representative and goat rancher, making a sustainable effect in the Rocky Mountains.
Mark Harbaugh is passionate about goats and the benefits of using them as weed control over toxic chemicals. He makes the point that goats cost a third of
the price of chemical spray, create no environmental damage and improve the habitat. Specifically, Harbaugh combats Leafy Spurge, a weed with a 20-foot taproot that produces a milky lactate, which deters most animals from eating it. He has designed a system that takes the same amount of time as chemical management by combining goats to break down the weeds and then releasing certain types of beetles to finish decomposing the remainder of the plant.
Rich Addick supports the documentary with some jaw-dropping facts. In 2001, nearly 5 billion pounds of chemicals were used in the United States to kill weeds and insects. Only 5 percent of these chemicals reached their intended destination. Invasive plants cause more than $20 billion in economic damage due to
the fact that they affect millions of acres of private and public lands. A goat eats 16 hours a day, and noxious weeds are a favorite meal choice. A herd of 3,000 goats can eat their way through 50 acres of weed in one day.
Goats prove themselves as more than sustainable. Cheryl K. Smith includes self sufficiency as a benefit of having goats in the book "Rasing Goats for Dummies." Goats produce milk, fiber and meat. According to Smith, goats can be milked for
three years without rebreeding.
Fibers produced by goats include mohair, cashmere, and a fiber called cashgora.
So now that we know goats are an awesome sustainable and self-sufficient resource, where do we go from here? I truly believe the University should invest in a herd of goats.
The addition of goats to our campus would promote the University as an environmentally responsible school, even more so than its current impressive reputation. Goats would further the Campus Sustainability Plan by creating a more efficient and ecofriendly alternative to chemicals. In the plan's vision, it states, "By utilizing the campus as a living laboratory and engaging students and faculty in campus projects, KU can find ways to complete tasks more efficiently." Beyond
this, goats could easily be used for recruitment.
TECHNOLOGY
The campus would save money on weed-killing chemicals and have a new unique defining factor. The KU bookstore could sell a line of clothing made from authentic KU goat yarn. The Underground could have food made with local goat products. The goats could be incorporated into classes, and jobs would be created in order for care and management of the goats. I can't think of a better on-campus job than a goat herder.
I understand the limitations of this idea, but as Harbaugh said, "Doing the right thing can be profitable and it is very heartwarming and gratifying at the end of the day."
Jenny Stern is a freshman majoring in biology from Lawrence.
Tablets making learning environments paperless
Trees everywhere should be rejoicing. Every day it’s becoming more and more clear that our generation might be the last generation to use low-tech tools, like paper books, for school and work.
While I really don't like the idea of a tablet take over — I enjoy the tangibility of a heavy book and flipping pages — I'm not going to stand in the way of innovation; I just will wait until it sweeps me up with it.
To be honest, the main reason I'm already lagging behind this revolution is because I don't have a tablet. I have my laptop to write word documents, and I've almost stopped bringing that around with me because Blackboard, ESPN and Reddit all work pretty well on my phone. The only complaint I have against high-tech learning is that no one (read as "me, myself and I") likes the format of those online quizzes on Blackboard.
I've only recently started to join in on all the fun after buying a language-learning app called MindSnacks. It's mind blowing. Spending 15 minutes a day playing games just as fun as Temple Run has me speaking better Italian than a semester of school (in your defense Italian department, my Italian writing is worse than abysmal). You know
how you should start teaching children a new language before kindergarten? Give an iPad with MindSnacks to preschoolers, and they would be polygls in three weeks.
According to Wired, the number of teachers who had at least one tablet in their room jumped from 20 to 35 percent last year, and 43 percent of Advanced Placement students are using tablets to complete assignments in class. My high school was no exception; it bought a cartload of iPads for the foreign language department. My German class was only able to use them once (because who cares about German, right?), and all we did was use the Internet to translate words instead of old, decaying dictionary, but nevertheless, it was still awesome.
Imagine if there were apps like this for algebra and calculus, or chemistry and physics. Your textbook would be like
something out of Harry Potter:
"Having trouble visualizing organic chemistry structures?
Here, turn the page and watch a video." Word problems could become miniature games at the end of a lesson: a problem about velocity and acceleration in Physics 101 could turn into a really, really difficult round of Angry Birds.
Are you still imagining? Then stop. According to the same Wired article, apps like those already exist. For people who learn visually, like me, this would be a godsend.
I'm excited, guys. Pretty soon (like everything I tell you about, "soon" means "for your children"), school desks will just be giant touch screen computers. All you need in your backpack is a single tablet with all of your books and homework installed. Hell, if we're lucky, teachers might start broadcasting their lectures to your tablet, and you wouldn't even have to leave your bed. The future of education might be fun, ladies and gentlemen. I'm actually disappointed it's coming after our time in the system.
Simpson is a freshman majoring in chemical engineering from Fairway.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
How do you feel about sharing a Big 12 title with K-State?
Follow us on Twitter @UDK_Opinion. Tweet us your opinions, and we just might publish them.
@Im2masTrouble
@UOK. Dpinion Better than having to share it with Missouri. Am I Right?
Who am I kidding, it's almost as depressing.
@Im2masTrouble
@OneNonlyDJones
@UDOK_ Opinion saved my ass cause
Staters don't like it when your yelling
the rock chalk chant in aggleville
CULTURE
Repent your awful music preferences
Lent is in full swing. For those of you who are religious, it's a time to sit back and atone for all the sins you've committed against your fellow man by eating those new Fish McBites at McDonald's. But I find it also a good time to reflect on the sins you've committed against your eardrums (and the eardrums of the person across the hall from where you shower). That's right, there's no time like the present to make a musical confession! I'll lead the way.
Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. Over the past few months, I have listened to the following:
1. A hideously overproduced funk-rock number by one-hit-wonders Ian Dury and the Blockheads entitled "Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick," about a third of whose lyrics are in horribly broken German and French because it sounds more exotic that way. I have a feeling that the frontman was either too drunk or too British to notice the innuendo on this track, because he shouts the titular line earnestly and without a hint of irony. I tell you, if I ever get so strapped for cash that I have to become a gay porn star, I'm co-opting this as my theme song.
2. "Happy Boy," a minute-long ode to a roadkilled dog by alternative-country band The Beat Farmers. Unlike most songs dealing with death and loss, this one features a sing-a-long chorus and an instrumental break in which the melody is carried by a kazoo player and a man gargling a glass of water. Sometimes, when I'm singing this song in the shower, I'll stand under the showerhead with my mouth open for a few seconds to make sure I've got enough liquid to produce the same rich, gurgly timbre as the band's drummer did back in '85. I once burned my mouth quite badly doing this, but the resulting screams were indistinguishable from the gargles on the Beat Farmers' live album, so I called it a victory.
3. "Sex Dwarf" by Soft Cell.
I once walked from the Union all the way to Wescoe Hall while listening to this song, singing along to about half of the lyrics because that was all I knew.
If you remember seeing a fat guy with a bulky, ugly Fair Isle sweater and bulkier,uglier headphones strutting past you and
mumbling something in a nasally voice about having tea-time in his little playroom with disco dollies — that was probably me. If you remember the weird, hip swinging dance I did on the way up the stairs into Wescole, as well keep that fresh in your mind; it's prime blackmail material.
But just confessing your sins isn't enough. You've got to do some musical penance, too, in the form of weird, overly experimental albums that you listen to once and then can't even be bothered to delete from your iTunes library. For my penance this year, I elected to listen to "Trout Mask Replica," a landmark noise-rock album by Captain Beeheart & His Magic Band. It's an hour-and-a-half of awful blues songs that managed to garner critical acclaim despite being saddled with unfortunate, stream-of-consciousness titles like "Neon Meat Dream of a Octafish." For that hour-and-a-half, I felt a cathartic rush of sensation coursing through my entire being. Or maybe it was just the convulsions of laughter brought on by nonsensical lyrics like "That's right, The Mascara Snake, fast and bulbous! Also, a tin teardrop!" It's hard to tell the difference sometimes. Nevertheless, I felt like the biggest hipster on the planet. And isn't that how music is supposed to make you feel?
I urge you to atone for your sins in a similar fashion. I've confessed mine out in public, but all you need to do is find a friend who you can trust not to do a spit-take when he finds out you listen to "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies on repeat and who won't mind recommending you some musical Fish McBites to cleanse you afterward. Hell, you could even come look for me: I'll be outside of Wescoe, gyrating wildly while singing something about violating people.
May is a sophomore majoring in German and journalism from Derby. Follow him on Twitter @SyasMas.
@Kt1721
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