Opinion THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28, 2010 WWW.KANSAN.COM PAGE 5A FREE FOR ALL To contribute to Free For All, visit Kansan.com, call 785-864-0500 or try our Facebook App. I have $17.29 in my bank account. Yay for getting paid on the first! So, pretty much I am missing having no drama in my life. I liked it better when my life was boring. --guess I should stop getting so massively drunk all the time so I can, you know, graduate. What's the best excuse to get out of an exam? Family emergency, illness or funeral? --guess I should stop getting so massively drunk all the time so I can, you know, graduate. Just show up at your professor's office and start crying about how stressed out Damn you, online class, for not having deadlines and being so unmotivating. Assignment one finally complete ... I can't see without glasses. I saw the most heinous fake tan and bad makeup combo tonight. Thank God I at least own a mirror. Getting e-mails from the porn website I visit makes me feel guilty. I am officially following Mrs. Butterworth on Twitter. And I now officially need more of a social life. --guess I should stop getting so massively drunk all the time so I can, you know, graduate. To the guy whose Cramster account I've been using this whole semester: Thank you! My chemistry professor informed us he synthesized cocaine and ecstasy when he was an undergrad for work.I want that job. I think I'm going to stick to college textbooks because they are much easier to understand than women. Women would be much less exciting if you understood them Be afraid, world. Be very afraid. --guess I should stop getting so massively drunk all the time so I can, you know, graduate. Looks like Mother Nature is on her period again. --guess I should stop getting so massively drunk all the time so I can, you know, graduate. Guy on the bus this morning: You are cute and I like your shoes. --from the extensive list: EDITORIAL BOARD Hospital benefits support gay rights President Obama took a step toward justice when he mandated that hospitals allow visitation rights to partners of gay women and men earlier this month. Allowing patients to decide who makes their medical decisions and who can be with them in the hospital, is a right many people take for granted. This right isn't something normally associated with the rights that come with marriage. However, there are many more just like it. The United States General Accounting Office, in response to the Defense of Marriage Act, identified 1,138 "federal statutory provisions classified to the United States Code in which marital status is a factor in determining or receiving benefits, rights, and privileges." 1. Joint parental rights of children and joint adoption 2. Decisions about automatic inheritance and disposal of remains 3. Domestic violence protection 4. Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid 5. Joint insurance plans 6. Spousal veteran's benefits 7. Immigration and residency for partners from other countries 8. Property tax exemptions and income tax deductions 9. Preferential hiring for spouses in University or government jobs All of these contractual benefits that come with the status of marriage indicate Obama's mandate is progress, but there are many more rights on the list to check off. This could potentially be a step toward legalizing same-sex marriage, but should not be used as an excuse to sidestep the issue. 10. Joint tax filing Being aware of these rights is the first step toward overcoming the Defense of Marriage Act, and to living in a society that values all families. This is one of the greatest civil rights issues facing our generation, and we can't be placated before justice is carried out. EDITORIAL CARTOON — Caitlin Thornbrugh for the Kansan Editorial Board. To read all 1,138 provisions visit: www.gao.gov AROOJ KHALID RELATIONSHIPS The vicious cycle of love and love lost Last month, I asked readers a question that, at the time, didn't realize was very controversial. What happened to chivalry in college? I received a wide variety of feedback, mostly from men. These responses included answers ranging from total denial of chivalry's absence — complete with lists of daily actions they said were examples of chivalry — to hostile answers, such as "Nice guys finish last." Still, my question remained unsolved, until I opened an interesting e-mail containing an attached image similar to the one at right. As a hopeless romantic, it some-what hurts me to say this, but I see The diagram made me see that my own ignorant actions during messy break-ups could have affected an entire chain of people. I was slightly shocked to think that 1, someone who says she pursues romance, could actually be a contributing factor in the decay of chivalry. a lot of it in the diagram. I thought of my past relationships and realized the descriptions matched some of the vicious relationship circles I've experienced. Time Magazine answered this question when it described Generation Y as, "The new breed of young people who won't — or can't Texts in the City BY MANDY MATNEY mmatney@kansan.com selections going nowhere. That statement really hits the nail on the head. Chivalry has diminished in our generation because we value instant gratification over quality. Every generation has endured its fair share of heartbreaks. Why, then, does this endless cycle seem to be taking a greater toll on our generation? — settle down ... (They) hop tr... date to date, having fun and are seemingly going nowhere." It's the same reason we text message more than we call. It's the same reason we eat more fast food than home-cooked meals. We are a generation that grew up spending more time with Nickelodeon and MTV and less time with our families. When we value recognition and indulgence more than a job well done, we fail to recognize the long-term effects of our actions. heavy range of emotions the way we should, we too often cling to rebound relationships and eventually end up inflicting our own pain on someone else. This, naturally, makes the victim of our pain relationship bitter. The cycle continues and strengthens as the person searches for a rebound and inflicts the same pain on someone else. Instead of coping at the end of a relationship and dealing with the I'm not saying that every heartbreak and break-up will contribute to the cycle. Sometimes people change. If the end of a relationship is handled maturely, both parties can be left satisfied and without bitter feelings. But a lot of the time break-ups leave us with overwhelming conflicting emotions, we desire the This simple diagram taught me that it's better to be bitter and lonely than rebounding and continuing the bitter circle. I don't want to sound like Dr. Phil here, but for your sake — and the sake of our generation — it's essential to go through the bullshit of a break-up fully before moving on to someone new. presence of another person, while sub-consciously still angry and vengeful toward people in general. I don't mean that we should all go around suffering in silence. But, how about, instead of seeking a rebound-romance, we find support through family and friends? Maybe then romance will actually stand a chance at survival. Matney is a sophomore from Shawnee in journalism. HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR LETTER GUIDELINES Send letters to opinion@kansan.com. Write LETTER TO THE EDITOR in the e-mail subject line. Length: 300 words The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown. Find our full letter to the editor policy online at kansan.com/ letters. INTERNATIONAL Friendship should be a long, flowing stream In conversations with friends who are also studying abroad, we often seem to have experienced the same problem. We feel as though we're losing contact with old friends and we have trouble finding friends in our new environments. Worst of all, society seems to encourage this kind of behavior. Office workers grumble that the office is like a battlefield and the losers are those who naively trust their colleagues. are close friends in relationships. In high school, we built solid friendships based on pure character. Often we had grown up with the same people in close-knit communities. Communication was natural. I think this obstacle can be tied back to one thing: People are losing faith in relationships However, in college, we associate our peers simply as classmates. In workplaces, we see each other as colleagues and competitors. "Las Vegas is a sleepless town and I can find all sorts of entertainment. But I still search for a true friend," he said. "People always have masks up. I don't feel comfortable to open up to them." He described to me that he thought he had found a good group of friends. Only after a while did he realize these "friends" were more interested in material goods than real friendship. A good friend of mine, who is studying in Las Vegas, told me about his hardship in searching for a close friend. The last time my friend and I got together, we couldn't stop teasing each other about the follies of the youth. We shared a long sigh at the end of the conversation, tacitly agreeing that once we stepped out of our childhood playgrounds, pure and innocent friendship became more difficult to attain. Without mutual childhood experiences and similar upbringings, it's relatively tough to click with newcomers to our lives. Instead of focusing on continually expanding a social network, some people choose to reconnect with old friends. But even this strategy can lead to disappointment. Another friend of mine isn't BY JOSIE HO surprised by this issue This friend is an extremely gregarious person who claimed to know almost two-thirds of passers-by walking on Massachusetts Street. "No one can stick with the same group of friends forever. We said as we grow up and our needs and wants change, so do our friends. We move on." "I cannot live without being with friends," he said. "Honestly, I know most of them are fair-weather friends, but who cares? As long as we both have fun together, that's the basic function of a friend." I find the views of both of my friends to be quite extreme. In my dictionary, a "friend" can be defined as broadly as an acquaintance or as uniquely as a soulmate. I strive to keep in contact with old friends. I also don't refuse to make new friends, because I know things don't always stay the same. Recently, I asked two of my good friends if they would fly from Taiwan to attend my wedding in Macau one day. They both answered, "Why not?" As for now, I am glad to treasure our happy moments and attach my faith to our friendship. Although I know we will go our own directions after graduation, I am comforted by the idea of this potential future reunion. Whether they will really attend my wedding is still unknown, but I look forward to sitting with them some day, talking about our new lives and teasing each other with our stupid old jokes. Ho is a from Macua, China, in journalism. Immigration issue fueled by drugs LETTER TO THE EDITOR However, the dilemma caused by undocumented residents comes from the inaction of the federal and state governments. Although the recent legislation signed into law in Arizona that requires any person to show proof of citizenship does nothing to solve the immigration issue, it's not surprising that the state would seek a solution to the problems caused by illegal aliens. Congress has been unable to pass significant legislation in regards to immigration policy for years, and the country is seeing the result of this inaction through large numbers of illegal immigrants all over the U.S. Aside from a small number of immigration visas and a handful of worker visas, there are few opportunities for Latino immigrants to come to the U.S. legally. There should be documentation and legal obligations that an immigrant must fulfill, but the government should also pursue a policy that will allow an increase in the number of immigrants to the U.S., as well as a path to citizenship for those already here. Our country has a long history of allowing large waves of We must look at why there are such a large number of immigrants entering through the southern borders. Many Mexicans fleeing their country are looking for freedom of fear from drug lords, a problem that would not exist if there were not such a large drug demand from the north. The U.S. has a drug addiction that is aggravating the already terrible violence among drug cartels in northern Mexico. The drug laws that exist in the U.S. need to be more strictly enforced to help curb addiction that our country has to drugs. The growing acceptance of an illegal drug, such as marijuana, leads to an increase in its demand, furthering conflict between drug cartels. Americans cannot pretend that drug use within their own borders does not have effects beyond them. Therefore, politicians in Washington need to start working on immigration reform, while local governments and law enforcement across the country need to strictly enforce already existing drug laws. immigration, and most citizens owe their own nationality to ancestors of only a few generations past who immigrated to America. - Kevin Neslage is a junior from Wichita. 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