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Sisterly love. Having siblings — or not having them — plays an important role in shaping our decisions. Often, sibling relationships are the longest lasting in life. Siblings provide good social practice and are examples for younger brothers or sisters.
How brothers and sisters impact our everyday lives
// KATY SAUNDERS
T the bossy older child, the difficult middle child, the spoiled only child and the unruly baby — few of us escape being labeled according to some sort of sibling stereotype. Are those merely typecasts?
or is there truth to birth order differences? Birth order expert Frank Sulloway, author of Born to Rebel, says differences definitely exist.
"The roles siblings adopt leads to differences in behavior." Sulloway says, "And parents tend to reinforce these roles, whether they realize it or not."
Sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting bond we have. Whether deliberately or involuntarily, siblings affect the choices we make about our careers and mates, as well as the way we manage our health, finances and general living standards.
One of the ways siblings shape our lives is by providing good social practice. Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied family studies at the University of Illinois, says siblings provide good training for interacting with peers.
"Siblings help kids learn what they think is right and then to negotiate and compromise." Kramer says. "Some evidence even suggests that when kids have good relationships with siblings, they're more likely to develop好 relationships with their peers."
In a household crazier than most, Roslyn Zuniger, Shawnee sophomore, agrees with Kramer's statement that siblings certainly have their ups and downs. Zuniger is a triplet and has four older siblings ranging from seven to 11 years older. She found that each sibling played a different role in her life.
"Having brothers and sisters definitely helped
socialize me, Zamigers says. "But as you grow older your relationships with siblings change."
When her parents got a divorce, Zuniger said the family dynamic changed, and even though her and her triplet siblings stuck together, differing opinions forced Zuniger to find comfort in an older sister, rather than with her same-age siblings.
Siblings also influence our lives through personal choices and behavior. Habits such as drinking, smoking and misbehaving run a risk of rubbing off on siblings says Katherine Jewbury Conger, an associate professor of human development and family studies at the University of California-Davis.
However, Andrew McCrackin, Overland Park sophomore, disagrees with Davis. Being the baby of four, McCrackin says he tended not to follow in his siblings footsteps.
"By seeing their mistakes, it was easier for me to avoid repeating them," McCrackin says.
The words "sibling" and "rivalty" tend to appear in sentences frequently, but some siblings defeat that rivalty by being different. Mark Feinberg, senior research associate at Penn State University's Human Development Research Center, suggests this "differentiation" process is how siblings carve out their own identity within a family so that each can be "special" in the eyes of parents.
In one study, Feinberg found that siblings who were closer in age were more likely to differentiate than siblings separated by a bigger age gap. "Kids do this to minimize rivalry with one another," Feinberg says.
Two years apart from her sister, Caroline Robb,
Newton sophomore, says she shares a lot of the same
characteristics with her sister, but she says she believes their individuality prevented stress between them and their parents.
"We're different enough that we've never had to compete," Robb says. "I was the athlete and she was the editor of the newspaper, so we never competed for our parents' attention in the same thing."
However, Roslyn Zunger says her and her triplet siblings were always competing for their parents' attention. She says the sibling rivalry continued in college when Roslyn chose to attend KU and her sister chose Kansas State.
Like 20 percent of children in America, to Ellen Belcher, Lenexa freshman, never had to deal with sibling rivalry because she's an only child. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the percentage of U.S. women having only one child rose from roughly 10 to 23 percent between 1980 and 2000. As an only child, Belcher says she grew up independent and liked the privacy she had. However, as a result of not having siblings, Belcher says other people in her life fill the voids.
"My dad took that protector role." Balder says. "I tend to look at my friends and hold them closer like they are my family."
Being the only child has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to development. Alissa Fischens, psychologist at Northwestern University, says only children learn to be children by themselves because they do not have siblings to interact with. Fischen says parents and playgroups can help, but children become conditioned to depend on themselves.
"Although this self-sufficiency can have its benefits."
Escaped it. "Can also mean that only children are
inherently alone as their personalities develop. $ ^{a} $
Siblings, whether we have them or not, influence our lives and the decisions we make. No matter the stereotype attached based on our status in the family tree, the roles we play help shape our personal development. $Jp$
Celebrity birth order
Barack Obama. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Penelope Cruz, Josh Hartnett
Donald Trump, Elijah Wood, Bill Gates Princess Diana, Martin Luther King, Jr. LAST BORN:
MIDDLE BORN
Rosie O'Donnell, Eddie Murphy, Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz, Paula Abdul, Lucy Liu
ONLYCHILD
Natalie Portman, Mario Sharapova, Tiger Woods, Alicia Keys, Shane West, Jeda Pinket Smith.
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