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FEATURE
therapy
De-stigmatizing negative assumptions about counseling and psychotherapy // ANNA SOBERING
acing the end of a four-and-a-half year relationship, Caroline Howard. Pittsburg junior, felt she needed guidance to help solve problematic issues in her life. Instead of going to her family or friends for help, she wanted to speak to a neutral party
who could give her objective advice. For about eight months during her freshman year, Howard saw a therapist.
"Initially I was hesitant because I was afraid of the answers I might hear," she says. "But I needed a solution. It was hard to speak so openly about some of the most private parts of my life, but I knew if I didn't I wouldn't get the help that I needed."
With guidance from her therapist, Howard realized that she needed to end her long-term relationship. "I realized I couldn't do anything to fix it," she says. "I also learned to have a healthier outlook on future relationships and not to make the same mistakes."
Although therapy greatly helps people like Howard deal with issues that seem stressful and overwhelming, there continues to be a notion that therapy doesn't work or that it's only for weak people who can't handle their own problems.
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL STIGMA
Looking back on her initial anxiety about seeing a therapist, Howard wishes she hadn't been embarrassed to seek treatment. "It's sad that therapy has such a stigma because it's really a helpful thing" she says. "It's very common to think like this because it's hard to admit you need help from others. It's weird because people are comfortable going to get tutoring for classes and learning from books, but not necessarily learning something new about themselves."
Danya Goodman, a doctoral student in clinical psychology and therapist at the KU Psychological Clinic, says mental health is widely misunderstood. "It's seen as this big and scary thing, but it's not," she says. "One in four people are going to be depressed at some point in their lives. That's 25 percent the population. So getting
therapy can't be that weird."
Susan E. Lawrence, M.D., is the founder and executive director of the Catalyst Foundation, a southern California-based nonprofit that focuses on childhood abuse and trauma. She says the world needs to know that there is nothing wrong with getting therapy. "It needs to be promoted that having emotional issues is just another part of the human experience," she says. "There is nothing shameful about that. Some things we just can't heal on our own."
Although the stigma has decreased somewhat through the years, the belief that therapy is a sign of weakness remains. John Wade, licensed psychologist and outreach coordinator at the University's Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), says this couldn't be further from the truth. "It is actually a sign of courage," he says. "It takes a lot of strength to admit that you need to work on yourself."
HOW THERAPY HELPS
Students can benefit from therapy because it's likely to help with academic success. Wade says. Most students drop out of school not because of academia, but because of other emotional issues such as homesickness and problems in relationships or with roommates. Because therapy helps people control their emotions, it can also help students stay in school.
Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, says therapy helps people learn more about themselves, manage their emotions and change behavior. "By overcoming your 'autophobia,' fear of yourself, and getting comfortable with your feelings, you can turn them from ugly emotions into useful ones."
Among the many ways therapy can be beneficial to those who seek it out, Tessina says getting control of your impulses is key to living a balanced life. "When you're in control of your impulses, you don't have temper tantrums, drink too much or let your other 'animal impulses' take over," she says. "Learning to manage your feelings
and act responsibly will get you more of what you want from life."
WHEN TO LOOK FOR A THERAPIST
People go to therapy for many different reasons. Whether it's because of problems with anxiety, anger or relationships, seeking the help of a therapist is a positive step toward improving yourself and feeling better. For me, anxiety was my motivation to see a therapist.
"It was hard to speak so openly about some of the most private parts of my life, but I knew if I didn't I wouldn't get the help I needed."
— Caroline Howard, Pittsburg junior
As a child, I was always the kid who cried when my parents left. When I went to camp in grade school I would spend most of my time with the nurse begging her to let me go home. After years of my parents picking me up in the middle of the night at sleepovers, I began to compare myself to other kids who seemed perfectly happy in their lives, acting independently and having fun. I thought something was wrong with me. After dealing with years of separation anxiety, my parents and I decided it was time for me to go see a therapist when I was 14.
It's been seven years since I began seeing my therapist and I have built an open and truthful relationship with her. I have gone through
times when everything is good and I don't see her as much. But in the times when my life has been overwhelmingly difficult, she has been instrumental in helping me work through my problems.
Issues that frequently cause students to see a therapist include:
- If you are having trouble adjusting to life in college. For example, you may be overwhelmed by the freedom and independence you have.
- If you are having difficulty managing your time balancing school and your social life.
- If you are partying more than you go to classes, drinking frequently on weeknights, or becoming sick because of alcohol or drug intake.
- If you have a hostile attitude when you get angry, which sometimes turns into violent behavior.
- If you are having a hard time making friends, avoiding social situations because of nervousness or are having problems with anxiety or panic attacks.
- If you feel sad so frequently that you find yourself sleeping too much or not sleeping enough.
- If you feel pressure about the way you look. If you find yourself not eating enough food, making yourself sick or eating too much.
- If you are having a hard time dealing with family issues such as communication, infidelity, divorce, illness or death.
- If you are in a relationship where you are fighting a lot, dealing with trust issues, sexual issues or break-ups.
- If you are having trouble in your living situation, with roommates or friends.
- If you are having financial issues such as debt not being able to pay for school or rent.
HOW TO FIND A THERAPIST WHO'S RIGHT FOR YOU
Finding a therapist is easy. "Licensed counselors of every sort exist everywhere, and they can be found in the phone book or online," Tessina says. "Finding the right counselor is harder but critically important to your success in counseling."
The best way to find this person is through
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