CALENDAR
10
SHEARWATER/ WYE OAK/ HOSPITAL SHIPS The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $9-$11, all ages
UNICYCLE LOVES YOU/
THE WHEELERS
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $2, 21+
NAACP LAWRENCE BRANCH MEETING The Lawrence Public Library, 6:30 p.m.
THE JUNKYARD JAZZ BAND
The American Legion,
7 p.m., free, all ages
NEON DANCE PARTY
NEW DANCE PARTY
The Jackpot Music
Hall, 10 p.m., $1-$5,
18+
RAS NEVILLE AND
THE KINGSTONIANS/
CHECKERED BEAT
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10 p.m., $5-$7,
18+
ARTHUR DODGE AND THE HORSEFEATHERS/ IN LOVE The Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $2, 21+
FILM: "URGA"
Bailey Hall 318,
7 p.m., free, 18+
MOUTH/ FUNK-O-TRON
Jazzhaus,
10 p.m., $4, 21+
RETRO DANCE PARTY
Wilde's Chateau 24, 9
P.M., $3-$5, 18+
CALIFORNIA VOODOO
The Granada, 9 p.m.,
free-$5, 18+
saturday, april 10th
THE ETTES
IETES
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $2, 21+
THE BIG PINK/A PLACE TO BURY STRANGERS
The Bottleneck,
8 p.m., $11-$13,
all ages
TECH N9NE/
FLOWING
KRIZZ KALIKO/KUTT
CALHOUN SCOOB
Liberty Hall, 8 p.m.,
$31, all ages
SECOND SATURDAYS
WITH DJ CAND-
DEPANTS
The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 10 p.m., $3,
21+
THE BREAKDOWN
THE DIREAK DOWN
The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 10 p.m., $3,
21+
YUCA ROOTS
The Jazzhaus,
10 p.m., $4, 21+
sunday, april 11th
DEER TICK/
THOSE DARLINS/
WRONG CROWD/THE
TAMBOURINE CLUB
The Jackpot Music
Hall, 9 p.m., $10-$12,
18+
MEGAFAUN/
MIDATAUN/
AMPLE BRANCHES
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $2, 21+
venues //
The Bottleneck 737 New Hampshire St.
The Jackpot Music Hall 943 Massachusetts St.
The Jazzhaus 926 1/2 Massachusetts St.
monday april 18th
The Replay Lounge 946 Massachusetts St.
The Eighth St. Taproom 801 New Hampshire St.
ARCTIC MONKEYS/
SLEEPY SUN
Liberty Hall, 8 p.m.
$25-$35, all ages
Lawrence Arts Center 940 New Hampshire St.
SAUL LECTURE: "THE POWER OF NAMES: RELIGIOUS MYSTICISM AND MATHEMATICAL CREATIVITY"
The Kansas Union,
7 p.m., free, 18+
The Pool Room 925 Iowa St.
The Granada 1020 Massachusetts St.
Wilde's Chateau 24
2412 Iowa St.
Duffy's 2222 W.6th St.
Conroy's Pub 3115 W.6th St., Ste.D
JAPANDROIDS/ AVI BUFFALO
The Bottleneck 737 New Hampshire St.
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $13-$15, all ages
BLUES TUESDAY WITH BRYAN NEUBERRY The Gaslamp Tavern, 7 p.m., free, 18+
TUESDAY NITE SWING
The Kansas Union, 8
p.m., free, all ages
JOE JACK TALCUM/
SAMUEL LOCKE-WARD
& THE BOO HOO'S
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
KRONOS QUARTET
The Lied Center,
7:30 p.m., $14-$32,
all ages
NO MAN'S GLEE & WOMEN'S CHORALE The Swarthout Recital Hall, 7:30 p.m., free, all ages
ROGUE WAVE/ MAN/
MIRACLE
BILLY SPEARS
The Bottleneck,
9 p.m., $13-$15, all
ages
& BEER BELLIES
Johnny's Tavern,
6 p.m., free, 21+
LIVE ACTION PUB
TRIVIA SHOW AT
CONROY
Conroy's Pub, 7 p.m.,
$5, 21+
THE AMERICANA MUSIC ACADEMY JAM Signs of Life, 7:30 p.m., free, all ages
$1 DRINK DANCE PARTY
Fatso's, 10 p.m., 21+
PRIDE NIGHT
Wilde's Chateau 24,
9 p.m., $5, 18+
editor's note //
I was cestatic the moment before she wrapped her arms around me, squeezed me tighter than I have ever been held — before or since — and told me to cry. I was euphoric the moment before I saw the look in her eyes meant something was seriously wrong, that the horror-scenario, the heart-breaking loss I had feared since I was a child, had become a reality.
The moment before my world changed forever, I bounced into my host family's small apartment, elated that the cute boy I was completely in love with had just asked me to a party. I swung the front door open, immune to sadness, expecting the whole world to be as much in love as I was.
I sashayed down the hallway toward my room, failing to notice an unusual afternoon silence. Countdown wasit blaring from the television in the living room; Radio 4 wasit on in the kitchen. There was no sound, no movement, just the faint smell of nervously smoked cigarettes, lingering in air pregnant with some kind of worry.
But how was I to know? For the time being, the world was shiny and flawless and exciting. I was 15, studying abroad in England, being rebellious, floating through life on Cloud Nine. It was September 16, 2004, the day I gained my first real boyfriend, and lost someone I loved more than almost anyone else. Before or since.
Anita, the loving, unwaveringly motherly relative I was living with, swiftly followed me into my room. The seriousness of her walk — just the mere weight of her steps — broke the apartment's silence, interrupted my joyousness, stopped the happy tune in my head mid-line.
She didn't let me say anything. She grabbed me firmly, keeping me upright, as if she knew my body would understand the meaning of her words before my brain.
Her embrace turned from support mechanism to vice-like hug.
I spoke with your mother today. I'm afraid —
My breath stopped. Her voice cracked.
Your grandmother has died.
I'm so sorry.
I was stiff, lifeless, shocked. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. Nothing came out.
Anita continued to hold me. An eternity later, a primal scream emerged from where I was standing.
Let it out. Let yourself feel the pain.
Let it out.
I sobbed in her arms for hours.
More than five years later, I can still vividly remember all the events of the day Carolyn Garrison, my beloved grandma, my hero, my inspiration in everything I do — the woman, who, with my mother, raised me — lost her decades-long battle with cancer.
I still cry about my grandma. But her love and strength shaped me into the person I am today. Every day, I continue to be inspired by her life, her amazing courage, and the pride I know shed feel for everything I've accomplished so far and everything I continue to work on. Just as Anita told me to do years ago, I let myself feel the pain — and the joy.
Unfortunately, I am just one of the millions of people who have lost a loved one to cancer. Jayplay writer Lindsay Cleek, sadly, is another. Lindsay lost her sister, Karla, in October 2006. She describes her vivid memories of Karla's last year — and, even more importantly, Karla's inspiring courage — in her essay on page 15. I hope you do not share in Lindsay's and my pain, but perhaps, even if you haven't lost someone close, you can be touched by the love we have for our relatives. This love gives people like us the inspiration for our lives.
// ALEX GARRISON, EDITOR
DESIGNERS // Laura Fisk,
Kelci Shipley
EDITOR // Alex Garrison
ASSOCIATE EDITOR //
CONTACT // Lindsay Cleek,
Leslie Kinsman, Katy Saunders
HEALTH // Adam Vossen
MANUAL // Emily Johnson,
Ben Sullivan
**NOTICE** // Mary Henderson,
Abby Olcese, Anna Sobering
**PLAY** // Beth Beavers,
Taylor Brown, Anna Kathagnarath
CONTRIBUTORS //
Mike Anderson, Jason Charney, Molly Martin, Landon McDonald
CREATIVE CONSULTANT //
Carol Holstead
CONTACT US //
jayplay10@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
(785) 864-4810
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jawhay Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
FOLLOW JAYPLAY ON TWITTER AT twitter.com/JayplayMagazine
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