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celebritweets // CONAN O'BRIEN (@CONANOBRIEN) Comedian, former host of Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me. 4:54 PM Feb 24th via web
Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One.
1:54 PM Feb 26th via web
If anyone's curious what I look like with a beard, it's this ?^(0) Coincidentally,
that's also my ATM pin number.
2:45 PM Mar 1st via web
I just had the fries at the McDonald's in Culver City near the Lady Foot Locker. SO AWESOME. If you can get there, ORDER THOSE FRIES.
1:40 PM Mar 3rd via web
This morning I applied for a job at Home Depot, but they couldn't find an apron big enough to fit over my head. Tomorrow: Staples.
11:32 AM Mar 4th via web
Hey gang! Look for me at the Oscars tonight. I'll be in the parking lot, wearing my prom tux and listening on the radio.
1 21 PM Mar 7th via web
// TAKEN FROM TWITTER.COM BY KELCI SHIPLEY
wescoe wit
lol.
GIRL 1 : You lose track of time when you sleep sometimes.
GIRL 2: Ya think?
GUY 1 : I can't find a cheap hotel for spring break.
GUY 2: I'm sure you can find a box somewhere.
GIRL : Do guys say they were assaulted if someone grabs their man boobs?
GUY: Did I tell you that I'm getting married to the library?
**GIRL 1:** I went to say hi to her, but I thought "oh yeah, she's weird," and I walked away.
GUY : Don't wear huge headphones. It makes you look like a damn hipster.
GUY : $45 on flip flops? Are you nuts?
GIRL : They are really good flip flops.
GUY: They better be made out of gold.
GIRL: Why do they call it Larryville? Bill Self won a national championship too.
GUY: Because Larryville sounds better than Billville.
// MARY HENDERSON
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