Opinion THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN WWW.KANSAN.COM FREE FOR ALL To contribute to Free for All, visit Kansan.com, call (785) 864-0500 or try our Facebook App. Next time you don't want it going around that you slept with a basketball player don't talk about it on the very crowded bus. We all heard You should probably think about wearing pants next time. --cans. The John Wall dance reminds me of "I'm a little teapot" --cans. I came out of my room and heard my brother say, "Wow, honey, go put some deodorant on before we start making out!" Let me just say --cans. To the guy who told me I was beautiful on the stairs by Lindley, thank you. I've been smiling ever since. --cans. All people of the opposite sex (i.e., men), feel free to tackle a tree. "16 & Pregnant": Thanks for making me never want to have kids! PAGE 5A --cans. Not to be dramatic, but I'd rather go to Mizzou than finish this homework assignment. Whoa, I went overboard. --cans. I would never go to Mizzou. Even if it meant my life. Thank you to the guy I don't know who shared his pizza with me while camping. I was really hungry! --cans. Somebody needs to tell my roommate that Axe makes him smell like a high school freshman, not like a cool freshman who hangs out with all the seniors, but the loser freshman that never gets laid and is always stuffed into trash I can't focus on school to save my life with this kind of weather. --from the air, and clear air is a right everyone should have. If I could kill someone with my mind, it would be my neighbor. --from the air, and clear air is a right everyone should have. The real reason I gave up all sweets for Lent is to slim down for Brown Bag Drag, Sorry, Jesus. Love you! --from the air, and clear air is a right everyone should have. Nope, even at this day and age, you still call. No texting. --from the air, and clear air is a right everyone should have. Sweatpants and a T-shirt is an outfit. Welcome to college. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. --from the air, and clear air is a right everyone should have. EDITORIAL BOARD Students should support statewide ban on smoking The Kansas House passed a bill Feb. 25 for a statewide ban that would make it illegal to smoke in public places such as bars and restaurants. Gov. Mark Parkinson, who has endorsed the bill in the past, is expected to sign the bill into law. This is a decision that all students, smokers or not, should support. According to a poll by the Sunflower Foundation, which supports health care for Kansans, 71 percent of the state is in favor of a smoking ban. If Parkinson approves the bill as expected, it would become effective July 1. Smokers should adjust their habits accordingly. This should be done not just out of respect for the law, but out of respect of the nonsmokers around them. The Environmental Protection Agency, the U.S. National Toxicology Program and the International Agency for Research on Cancer say secondhand smoke is a known carcinogen. According to cancer.gov, there are more than 4,000 different chemicals in secondhand smoke, 250 of which are harmful and 50 are known to cause cancer. Banning smoking in public places would help remove the presence of harmful, cancer-causing chemicals Many cities in Kansas, including Lawrence, have already passed similar laws at local levels. The smallscale success of these smoking bans shows that it should be applied to the rest of the state. People who have been drinking cannot operate a vehicle because it endangers the lives of others. Though the effects of secondhand smoke are not seen as immediately as those of a drunk-driving accident, the damage is still there. The fact that individual cities have taken it upon themselves to ban smoking in public places also shows that not only are individual Kansans in support of a ban, but large groups are as well. With all of the information available now about the dangers associated with secondhand smoke, it is ridiculous for smokers to be allowed to smoke in public places. Cigarettes themselves should not be banned, just the ability of smokers to smoke around people who might not Smoking cigarettes, just like consuming alcohol, is a personal decision. Both are health hazards and should affect only the individual who is drinking or smoking, not the people around them. want to be exposed to secondhand smoke. Students should be in support of this bill regardless of whether they smoke. Smokers should take responsibility for their decisions to smoke and keep the health of those around them in mind when they decide to light up. — Kate Larrabee for The Kansan Editorial Board Each year in the U.S. secondhand smoke is responsible for: About 3,400 lung cancer deaths in non-smoking adults Breathing problems in nonsmokers, including coughing, mucus, chest discomfort and reduced lung function Increases in the number and severity of asthma attacks in about 200,000 to 1 million children who have asthma Additionally, scientific evidence shows that there is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Source: American Cancer Society EDITORIAL CARTOON DIFFERENT PARTIES MAY COME TO POWER AT DIFFERENT TIMES. 4. to advise recommit (vt) - 1. to refer (as a bill) again to a committee - again 1. the process of making consistent or compatible 2. a cudgel for smashing opponents into marginalization and irrelevance usage: The political differences were irreconcilable, so the reconciliation process was used to pass the bill and disregard millions of Americans. recondition (yt) - to restore to a good condition (as by replacing it) BUT THE DEFINITION IS STILL THE SAME NICHOLAS SAMBALUK HUMOR Investigating mysteries and legends of Parking Department Lately, I have overheard a lot of students telling horror stories about the Parking and Transit Department. It's a legend that that's been told many times. Sometimes, the Department will leave tiny pink slips demanding money when a student leaves his tire a bit on the line. Other times, the mysterious Parking Department officials are rumored to gather like hungry sharks around cars that have gone over meter time by mere minutes and slap them with the pink kiss of fine. One day, I decided to follow one of these officials back to the legendary lair. I followed a confused-looking visitor who parked in the residence hall parking lots with no pass and waited. I was startled when finally a black robed figure appeared. It was carrying a handful of the pink kisses of fines. It put one on the confused visitor's car and swiftly began to walk away. First of all, I would like to point out that these people are elusive. I followed it just as swiftly in my minivan. I got a glimpse of its face. It wasn't pretty, not like a gremlin or a dementor. It almost looked like a guy in my science class, but I knew that deep down its nature was evil. When I found my way to the cave, I heard what appeared to be some black magic chanting. I peeked into the cave and found the other robed figures dancing around a fire that they were fueling with $20 bills and what appeared to be used versions of the pink kisses of fines. was driving stopped outside of a cave I had never before noticed on the outskirts of campus. I made sure to park far away so as not to tip the all-seeing Department off. The car that the mysterious man BY CHANCE CARMICHAEL Suddenly, the dancing ceased and the hooded Department figures got down to business. One of the hooded figures cackled maniacally before suggesting that they hire construction workers to make the GSP/Corbin and McCollum parking lots even smaller. The others seemed interested. Another figure wanted to add more red zones to the normal parking lots to bambooze more students. Another suggested adding three more colors — maroon, cyan, and beige — to the parking zones. One spent the whole meeting rocking back and forth, grinning and muttering, "All the Andrew Jacksons." I hurried back to my car and drove home. It was difficult to sleep that night. I constantly look out the window for the hooded figures and the pink slips. I think they know I investigated them because every time I open my wallet there seems to be one fewer Andrew Jackson. Unless dollars can walk, something evil is occurring. The pink slips sometimes sit on my windshield when I park a bit over the lines or a little crooked. In them, I find the usual fine plus a note that appears to be written in blood (or red ink) that reads, "We're just doing our jobs. The rules aren't that difficult to follow." Part of me wants to believe it isn't true, but the less angry part wants to think that maybe, just maybe, it is. Carmichael is a sophomore from Mulvane in journalism and media studies. Watch Carmichael's video trailer for the horror movie "Parking Department" at kansan.com/opinion. ETIQUETTE Rules of the road aren't just courtesy The other day I was waiting to pull out of a shopping center and turn left onto Louisiana Street near the 23rd Street intersection. But I was forced to sit and wait because of a girl chatting on her phone and blatantly blocking the intersection while the light was red. That's when I was reminded some people are totally oblivious to basic driving etiquette. There are rules of the road we all learn to pass our driver's license test. But there are unspoken guidelines that make driving a little easier for everyone. Let's start with the situation I already mentioned. When coming to a red light, do not stop and block the road. If there are other drivers who need to cross to make a left turn, leave a big enough gap so they are easily able to do so. If coming to a four-way stop, put on a blinker if turning. The four-way stop can be a tango for cars, especially if multiple cars pull up at the same time. Who goes next? One way to clarify any confusion is to make the directions as clear as possible. Throw on the blinker. It only takes a second. Driving on Kansas Highway 10 or U.S. Interstate 70, there always "that person" who insists on driving well below the speed limit in the left lane. The left lane is for passing. For that matter, just make a habit of using a blinker in general. It's there for a reason. In fact, that's not even just etiquette anymore. As of July 1 this year, it will be illegal to drive in the left lane in Kansas unless passing a car. When I have trouble moderating my speed, I use that little tool called cruise control. This helps me know for sure that I'm driving at a respectable speed and those who want to pass me can easily do so. Manners Made Easy BY RICHELLE BUSER bbuser@kansan.com Kansas is partially rural, and drivers use their bright lights. Remember to dim brights on dark roads when another car is approaching. Blinding lights can cause a dangerous distraction for drivers. Lastly, please don't drive aimlessly and slowly looking for an address. I realize that when searching for a new location, it makes sense to slow down to get a better look at buildings. However, that's really logical for the person trying to find a certain address. For everyone behind him, it's extremely dangerous and unpredictable. There is much to be said about driving etiquette, but these are a few guidelines to consider the next time you put the key in the ignition. Being considerate of others pays off on the road. It helps to eliminate road rage and makes getting from one place to the next as painless as possible. Buser is a senior from Columbia, Ill., in journalism. LETTER TO THE EDITOR Cap and trade policy forces businesses out of country bated in the Senate and the typical Kansan support of it. The subject of this letter is cap and trade legislation that is currently being de- Although I think it is ludicrous to tax the gas we exhale, I am not arguing against cap and tride because of belief or disbelief in anthropogenic global warming. The bill, laden with other scary proposals, creates a cap and trade system that will force businesses to purchase allowances for their carbon emissions that exceed the emission level being determined by a central planning authority. Rather, I loathe the idea of cap and trade because it will not lower global carbon emissions while simultaneously destroying America's economy and globally redistributing wealth. Nearly every business emits carbon in some form, so how will they respond to these taxes — or rather, allowances — that they are forced to pay for? They will cut wages, layoff employees, raise prices or, for large corporations especially, leave the country. Why would any chemical manufacturing company stay in the United States given that they are fully aware cap and trade will raise their fixed costs 53 percent during the next 10 years? These energy costs and controls create economic incentive for U.S. businesses to emigrate to countries not adopting such laws. China recently endorsed cap and trade in the U.S. Also, a Chinese official recently affirmed that China will not begin to consider pollution controls of any kind until the country is as fully developed as America. China also recently surpassed the U.S. as the No.1 carbon emitter in the world. In short, the implications of cap and trade are quite blant yet frightening — it will have no net change on global carbon emissions but will have a marked net change on global economics because of vast transfers of wealth from Western nations to under-developed nations. —Hoyt Banks is a senior from Stilwell. HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR LETTER GUIDELINES Send letters to opinione kansan.com Write LETTER TO THE EDITOR in the e-mail subject line. Length: 300 words Find our full letter to the editor policy online at kansan.com/letters. The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown CONTACT US Stephen Montemayor, editor 864-4810 or smontemayor@kansan.com Brianne Pfannenstiel, managing editor 864-4810 or bofannenstielikansan.com Jennifer Torline,managing editor 864-4810 or jtorline@kansan.com Lauren Cunningham, kansan.com managing editor 864-4810 or lcunningham@kansan.com Vicky Lu, KUJH-TV managing editor 864-4810 or vlu@kansan.com Emily McCoy, opinion editor 864-4924 or emccoy@kansan.com Kate Larrabee, editorial editor 864-4924 or klarrabee@kansan.com Cassie Gerken, business manager 864-4358 or cgerken@kansan.com Carolyn Battle, sales manager 864-4477 or cbattle@ikansan.com Malcolm Gibson, general manager and new adviser Jon Schilt, sales and marketing adviser 864-7666 or jschilt@kansan.com THE EDITORIAL BOARD THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Kansai Editorial Board are Stephen Montemayor, Brianne Plannestiel, James McAuliffe, Michael Holtz, Emily McCoy, Kate Larabee, Michael Holtz, Caitlin Thornbrough, Stefanie Fenni, John Castile and Andrew Hammond.