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OPINION
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN—WEEKLY SUMMER EDITION
6
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STINSON'S VIEW
Zach Stinson/Kansan
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111 Stauffer-Flint
Sequels represent lack of creativity in Hollywood
"I got a Bedazzler so my outfit's tight."—Ad Rock, Beastie Boys, from the 2004 album. To the 5 Burroughs.
As I finish my trilogy of opinion columns this summer, I've decided to focus on the movie sequel. The summermovie staple grows increasingly stale year after year. But the sequel doesn't always make us yearn for the original; occasionally it's actually better than the first.
perspective
Chris Crawford opinion@kansan.com
This summer's sequels that didn't suck included Spider-Man 2, Shrek 2 and Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. But these movies are the exception.
Usually, even if they're bad, they still make money. But what if we used those
In contrast, I'd argue that we could do without Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement or The Chronicles of Riddick. I understand that sequels seem like sure bets to Hollywood executives.
slots for new creative projects that otherwise would never see the light of day? Maybe we'd get to see the next Godfather, Shawshank Redemption or Rushmore.
Because I have no say in the matter, and neither do you, maybe I could pitch some sequels that America might actually like to see.
First, to you Mr. M. Night Shyamalan,
I like your movies: The Sixth Sense,
Unbreakable and Signs. I understand that once again you will scare us with the
unknown in your upcoming film, The Village. How about calling your next project Sock, Er...Mom! It would follow a lovable, every-day family's life until something out of the ordinary begins to happen. Their socks begin to disappear. Not just one here or there, but lots of socks. One day, while playing in the backyard, the children discover a door in an oak tree. Inside they find hundreds of sock monkeys that are building more of their kind. One of the children yells out the titular line, "That's my sock, er...mom!" The family must fight the sock monkeys to save their house and potentially the human race.
Second, due to the popularity of the "dance battle" film, You Got Served, earlier this year I suggest a sequel of equal intensity and competition.
You Got Soft-Served features a ragtag gang of ice cream parlor employees known as the "Scoop Doctors" that must
challenge the well-polished, cross-town rivals, "Mad Cow Dairy_Delights," to save their shop. The ice cream "battle" culminates at the citywide "Cone Or Go Home" competition.
Last, I propose the prequel to a great film, Fight Club. How could you top a script like Fight Club? How about taking Tyler Durden back to high school, where the incessant teasing about his incredible math skills drives him to start the Math Club without the school's permission. Durden's rise as an unmatched "mathlete" spawns underground math clubs across the country.
I hope my ridiculous sarcasm reinforces the fact that Hollywood will continue to make unoriginal, unwatchable projects as long as you continue to go see them.
Crawford is an Overland Park senior in journalism.