PLEASE WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?
If you're the new kid on the block, don't hang tough. Knock down your neighbor's door and say, "Hi, my name is..."
By Liz Gibson, Jayplay writer
Photo Illustrations:
Jeff Brandsted
In Kansas, August is the hottest month of the year. It's also when most students move back to Lawrence for the fall semester. Last fall, my dad crammed his flat-bed truck with two of my dressers, a bed, lamps and odd and ends. I had just finished unpacking my own car when he pulled up in front of my house. The thought of more unloading made my knees weak. But as my dad and I attempted to slide the furniture off the truck's tailgate, three of my new neighbors came to our rescue.
The guys unloaded everything and carried it into the house. Their generosity and friendliness made me feel at home. And as my roommates and I settled in, we were welcomed by other students living in the area.
Approaching strangers makes most people a little uneasy, but neighbors aren't really strangers when you see them every week. Introducing yourself right off the bat can alleviate awkward smiles and nods. Neighbors aren't only good for an extra hand or a cup of sugar, but for allies when you throw a party. Let's be honest. If the cops break up your shindig, don't let your snobby behavior be the cause.
Baked goods proved to be a good ice breaker for Kari Hamlin, who greeted her new neighbor with a batch of chocolate chip cookies. "I wanted to welcome her to the neighborhood and to let her know that if she needed anything that we were just next door," Hamlin says. The Garden City senior grew up in a nurturing neighborhood where child-rearing was a community task. She says her neighbors took care of each other. "It's small-town behavior." Hamlin says.
Regardless if you're a newcomer or a veteran to the area, if someone's face doesn't look familiar, introduce your self. If you don't bake, a friendly smile and an honest handshake works just as well. I have plenty of small-talk training under my belt, thanks to sorority recruitment. The three cardinal questions I swear by are: Where are you from? What's your major? Why did you choose KU?
Are you both bored yet? Try steering the conversation toward common ground, like the area, things to do in town, KU sports or where to go for a
good drink special. When it's time to say "so long," be friendly, relaxed and easy-going. You want to be cool, right? Leave your neighbor thinking he or she would want to run into you at a later date.
Inventing unique ways to approach a neighbor can be effective, too. No, I'm not talking about putting a bag of flaming poop on your neighbor's doorstep. www.soyouwanna.com calls it the "cup of sugar" technique. Knock on your neighbor's door and ask for sugar or an equally non-threatening ingredient. Make sure you actually use the ingredient to bake something. Offer him or her a piece of your dessert as a thank you. Borrowing tools is another technique for meeting neighbors. But be sure to return the item that same day.
If anything, introducing yourself to a neighbor is a good safety mechanism. Hamlin, who lives in a townhouse near 27th Street and Crestline, didn't suspect her neighbor was shady but admits the thought has crossed her mind. "Ultimately, you always want to know who your neighbors are in case they're weird or something," she says.
Weird, loud, annoying or mysterious neighbors come in all shapes and sizes, but remember to give each neighbor an equal opportunity introduction.
— Liz Gibson can be reached at lgibson@kansan.com.
{HOW TO}
Organizing a get-together is an easy way to meet all your neighbors in one swoop. www.soyouwanna.com offers some tips on how to make your pow-wow neighborhood-friendly:
★ Don't make the party too late at night.
★ Don't have the party during a work dav.
★ Buy more than enough food.
Supply plenty of non-alcoholic drink alternatives (but don't forget the booze!).
★ Have party activities ready to go (music, dancing, board games).
Make sure that you say "No Presents" on the invitation or flyer. Otherwise, your neighbors might be stressed out about what to get you...or they might not want to get you anything and decide not to come.
5.06.04 Jayplay
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