Elizabeth Blasco and Chris Tackett
['Dear Alice got nothin' on us!]
Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex it's very uncomfortable because I'm so dry. What's wrong with me?
Ann, Junior
Elizabeth: Try KY.
Chris: Although KY works lubricating wonders in the sack, I'm a little surprised Elizabeth didn't recommend that you first talk to your Gyno Buddy and make sure you don't have a medical condition. If y'all are using condoms, there's a chance you could be allergic to latex or the spermicide. And maybe it would also help if you were actually attracted to him.
I've heard that girls who masturbate a lot will keep their first two fingernails short so they don't scrape themselves. What do you think?
Pump, Sophomore
Chris: I've heard that really creepy guys are always looking at girls fingernails. And you're an idiot.
Elizabeth: Come on, do you really believe that?
There are plenty of girls who have long nails that masturbate and there are also girls with short nails who do not. Not everything that you hear is true.
My boyfriend keeps telling me he wants to try something called a 'donkey punch' when we have sex. I don't know what it is and don't want to look stupid, so I've just been laughing it off. Can you fill me in?
Melissa, Freshman
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Elizabeth: I actually have no clue what a 'donkey punch' is, but it certainly doesn't sound appealing. I guess if you are curious you could experiment and see what it's all about, however there is something seriously disturbing and wrong with any guy mentioning the word punch when referring to something that he would like to try with you.
Chris: Holy shit! Well, I can't describe it here, but google it or check out urbandictionary.com to see what your boyfriend's talking about. And then cry for the next year for actually dating this asshole.
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