14
Daily Kansan Friday, April 22.1966
PATRONIZE KANSAN ADVERTISERS
ROOMMATES REVISITED
This morning's mail brought a letter from a student at a prominent Western university (Princeton). "Dear Sir," he writes. "In a recent column you said it was possible to get along with your roommate if you try hard enough. Well, I'd like to see anyone get along with my roommate! Mervis Trunz (for that is his name) practices the ocarina all night long, keeps an alligator, wears knee-cymbals, and collects airplane tires. I have tried everything I can with Mervis Trunz, but nothing works. I am desperate. (signed) Desperate."
Have you, dear Desperate, really tried everything? Have you, for example, tried a measure so simple, so obvious, that it is easy to overlook? I mean, of course, have you offered to share your Personna® Super Stainless Steel Blades with Mervis Trunz?
To have a friend, dear Desperate, you must be a friend. And what could be more friendly than sharing the bounty of Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades? Who, upon enjoying the luxury of Personna, the nickless, scrapeless, tugless, hackless, scratchless, matchless comfort of Personna, the ease and breeze, the power and glory, the truth and beauty of Personna—who, I say, after such jollies could harden his heart against his neighbor? Nobody, that's who—not even Mervis Trunz—especially not today with the new Personna Super Blade bringing us new highs in speed, comfort, and durability. And here is still a further bonus: Personna is available both in Double Edge style and Injector style.
No, dear Desperate, your problem with Mervis Trunz is far from insoluble. In fact, as roommate problems go, it is pretty small potatoes. Compare it, for example, to the classic case of Basil Metabolism and E. Pluribus Ewbank.
Basil and E. Pluribus, roommates at a prominent Eastern university (Oregon) were at an impassable impasse. Basil could study only late at night, and E. Pluribus could not stay awake past nine p.m. If Basil kept the lights on, the room was too bright for E. Pluribus to sleep. If E. Pluribus turned the lights off, the room was too dark for Basil to study. What to do?
Well sir, these two intelligent American kids found an answer. They got a miner's cap for Basil! Thus, he had enough light to study by, and still the room was dark enough for E. Pluribus to sleep.
It must be admitted, however, that this ingenious solution had some unexpected sequelae. Basil got so enchanted with his miner's cap that he switched his major from 18th Century poetry to mining and metallurgy. Shortly after graduation he had what appeared to be a great stroke of luck; while out prospecting, he discovered what is without question the world's largest feldspar mine. This might have made Basil very rich except that nobody, alas, has yet discovered a use for feldspar. Today Basil, a broken man, squeezes out a meagre living as a stalagmite in Ausable Chasm.
Nor has E. Pluribus fared conspicuously better. Once Basil got the miner's cap, E. Pluribus was able to catch up on his long-lost sleep. He woke after nine days, refreshed and vigorous—more vigorous, alas, than he realized. It was the afternoon of the Dean's tea. E. Pluribus stood in line with his classmates, waiting to shake the Dean's hand. At last his turn came, and E. Pluribus, full of strength and health, gave the Dean a firm handshake—so firm, indeed, that all five of the Dean's knuckles were permanently fused.
The Dean sued for a million dollars and, of course, won. Today E. Pluribus, a broken man, is paying off his debt by walking the Dean's cat every afternoon for ten cents an hour.
$ \textcircled{c} $ 1966, Max Shulman
We, the makers of Personna Blades and the sponsors of this column, tell not attempt to expertise about roommates. But we will tell you about a great shaving-mate to Personna —Burma Shave®! It soaks rings around any other lather; it comes in regular and menthol.
Want to go 50/50 on a TWA jet?
If you're under 22,
Pre under 22, join the TWA 50/50 Club and fly for half fare.
You can get 50% off the regular Jet Coach fare when you fly TWA in the U.S. If you're between 12 and 22, fill out the form below and take it with proof of age to any TWA office. Buy your membership card for $3—and the sky's the limit. You fly on a stand-by basis except for the few days listed below. Note: if you have an ID card from another airline, we'll honor that, too.
Remember, even though you're going for half fare, you get full service-meals and all. Questions? Call your TWA campus representative, Patrick McGrath, at AT 9-5079. We're your kind of airline.
TWA 50 50 CLUB Present this application to any TWA office. Or mail to: P.O. Box 700, Times Square Station, New York, N.Y. 10036
Mr.
Mrs.
1. Miss ___2. Date of Birth___
3. Home Address___ City___ State___ Zip Code___
4. School or Occupation___Class of___
5. PROOF OF AGE Check type of proof submitted with this application. Send photostats, not original, with mailed application. □ Birth Certificate □ Driver's License □ Draft Card □ School Record □ Passport
6. Color of hair___7. Color of eyes.
8. Enclose $3.00: □ Check □ Money Order (Not refundable. DO NOT MAIL CASH.)
Make check or Money Order payable to Trans World Airlines, Inc.
Nationwide Worldwide depend on
9. Signature.
... November 27, December 15 through 24, 1966, and January 2 through 4, 1967.