The Hill With It by john hill Everyone has an advice column except college students. Advice columns concerning teenagers, golf, medical problems, household hints, and probably embalming are quite common, but none exist for the college student. This is probably because everyone knows that college students know everything about everything. Ask one. But many of a college student's problems are of a more subtle nature, yet are no less deserving of advice. Imagine an advice column for KU students... Dear Professor Happy, I am a struggling, idealistic young writer of soul-searching poems. I lend copies of my best poetry to my closest friends to see what they think and they either use them to line the bottom of their parakeet cages or wrap fish with them. What do you think about all this? Disillusioned But Not Yet Discouraged Dear Disillusioned-But-Not-Yet-Discouraged The parakeet makes an excellent pet, since he is clean, easy to care for, and odorless. Dear Professor Happy. What really bugs me is the way some people feel like a fish out of water without using trite cliches all the time. I guess it's just my ax to grind, but trite expressions seem to turn up all the time, like a bad penny, among college students, and, not to belabor the point, but if the shoe fits, wear it. What do you think? Possibly Crying Over Split Milk Dear Possibly-Crying-Over-Split-Milk. I think a word to the wise is sufficient. $$ * * * $$ Dear Professor Happy, I am a freshman who is five feet four inches tall and weighs 97 pounds. Yesterday, I went to visit my girlfriend over at GSP and found her in the arms of a senior football letterman who is about six foot seven inches tall and weighs in about 280. I was furious and started to call him horrible names, but since I have always prided myself on being a gentleman and not losing my temper. I said nothing. But if this happens again, what do you think I should call him? Mousey Dear Mousey, Try "Sir." Dear Professor Happy, Being an extremely intellectual person, who is very deep. I have carefully studied the writings of Sartre, Spinoza, Thoreau, Machiavelli, Descartes, and Bertrand Russell, and others. Can you suggest any really good books that you have read recently? Depth, Incorporated Dear Depth, Incorporated. Serving KU for 77 of its 101 Years KANSAN TELEPHONE NUMBERS Newsroom—UN 4-3464 —— Business Office—UN 4-3198 The Dally Kansan, student newspaper at The University of Kansas, is represented by National Advertising Service, 18 East 50 St., New York, N.Y. 10022, and by Lawrence College, postage paid at Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University year except Saturdays and Sundays. University holidays and examination periods, communications, goods, services and employment advertised in the University Da Kansan are offered to all students without regard to color, creed or national origin. The opinions expressed in the editorial column are those of the students whose names are signed to them. Guest editorial views are not necessarily the editor's. Any opinions expressed in the Daily Kansan are not necessarily those of The University of Kansas Administration or the State Board of Regents. EXECUTIVE STAFF EXECUTIVE STAFF Managing Editor Joan McCabe Business Manager Tony Chop Editorial Editors Dan Austin Barb Phillips NEWS AND BUSINESS STAFF Assistant Managing Editors Emery Good Steve Russell City Editor Will Hardesty Advertiser Manager Kevin Stevens Wire Editor Betsy Wright Nat'l Adv. Manager Howard Pankatz Sports Editor Mike Walker Promotion Manager John Lee TODAY Official Bulletin Lecture, 8:00 p.m. Dr. Harry E. Hoben, U. of Florida "Research in Underwater Speech Communication" Forum Room, Union Classical Film, 7 & 9 p.m. "Hall the Conquering Horn," David And. Sailor Recital, 8:00 p.m. David Clark, trumpet, Swarovski Recital Hali Experimental Theatre, $2.90 p.m. "An Evening with Dylan Thomas." Ph.D., Final Exam, 3:30 p.m. Harry M. Lindquist, anthropology, 6275 FTS- Mathematics Colloquium, 3:26 p.m. Machometes Colloquium, 3:26 p.m. King's Crusis KU, 183 colloquium, Ball Experimental Theater, 8.25 p.m. "An Evening with Dylan Thomas." Daily Kansan 2 editorial page Wednesday, March 29, 1987 "IT'S JUST A DAMN GOOOD THING NO ONE CAME IN TARDY THIS MORNING!" LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS NEW BOOKS THE STRATEGY OF PEACE, by John F. Kennedy (Popular, 50 cents); TO TURN THE TIDE, by John F. Kennedy (Popular, 50 cents); THE BURDEN AND THE GLORY, by John F. Kennedy (Popular, 75 cents)—Collections of the late President's speeches, writings which, like those of Calhoun, Webster and Stevenson, will be cherished in future generations for their rhetoric as well as their point of view. "The Strategy of Peace" was from the speeches prior to the election; "The Burden and the Glory" constitutes Kennedy's dreams for what could be achieved in America; "To Turn the Tide" treats many critical issues in the first year in office. Strongly commended to the student of history or political science, or to anyone who admired the man. OF PLYMOUTH PLANTATION, 1620-1647, by William Bradford, edited by Samuel Eliot Morison (Modern Library, S.M5)—A standard historical work given modern shape by one of our great historians. But not meant for delightful weekend reading. Mainly, that is, for a scholar. Underneath the complicated language of the 17th century you will find one of the greatest heroic enterprises in history, the story of the Pilgrim fathers. N