The Hill With It
by john hill
The Buildings and Grounds crew huddled tensely around the small, military map of the sprinkler system on campus.
"and we could try moving a water pipe from here," said a workman as he placed a small straw on the map across a dotted line which indicated a well-traveled sidewalk, "so that when students were hurrying away from this sprinkler here, they wouldn't notice the pipe and trip over it."
The other men murmured their congratulations and slapped him on the back.
"HOW ABOUT FRASER HALL?" asked someone in the back. "Seems like that's an awfully big area that's always dry. We should view it as a challenge."
"Well, you can't—"
"I know. Even we can't justify continually watering an area that hasn't got any grass or trees. But . . ." paused the B&G man for dramatic emphasis, "we can position the sprinklers so the drainage will keep it muddy all the time, and the wind can carry the mist across the area."
The other men nodded in solemn agreement. They weren't afraid of a challenge.
"NOW LET'S HEAR a report from the man who has been studying the timing devices on the sprinklers," said the Chief Strategist.
"Well, as near as I can figure," said a man looking at a clipboard "the average student carefully eyes the rotating sprinklers from six to eight seconds as he walks along the sidewalk, approaching one.
"Therefore," he grinned evilly, "I have set
the timers so that every seven seconds, they will suddenly whirl around in a 180 degree arc, catching everyone off guard."
Amid the applause, he sat down while everyone was envisioning hordes of panic-stricken students scattering in every direction. . .
"Gentlemen, let me remind you that as soon as this week's plans are made we will re-group in the other room for the formal presentation of the highest honor we can bestow, which will go to Tricky Harold."
A RESPECTFUL HUSH quickly fell over the crowd, like falling water upon a sidewalk.
"Tricky Harold, just last week, managed with one strategic move to completely soak seven students, three graduate students, and a full professor, for which he will receive the coveted Blue Max."
"Say, what about our strategy in front of the library," asked another workman. "I noticed the other day that it was possible for a student to get past without getting wet."
"Well, this is certainly cause for concern," said the Chief Strategist regretfully, "and my committee has worked on it, but there is not any way to make a change without altering the complex attack in front of Flint Hall, which is quite successful."
"It TAKES ANYONE quite a while, however, to figure out the maze and get through without getting wet."
"At least the ones who make it will be late to class," cackled an old man in the back who hadn't had so much fun since the time he pushed his grandmother down the stairs. . . .
New books
THUNDER ON THE RIGHT, by Mary Stewart (Crest, 60 cents)—Another edition of one of Mary Stewart's novels about a damsel in distress, this damsel being in distress in the Pyrenees. Good for those who love Gothic tales and wish Daphne du Maurier were writing books like "Rebecca."
★★★
THE LIVING NOVEL AND LATER APPRECIATIONS, by V. S. Pritchett (Vintage, $1.95)—A new collection of essays by a British critic. Disraeli, Dickens, Meredith, Saki, D. H. Lawrence, Balzac, Conrad, Cervantes, Gorky, Hugo, Anatole France, Forster are among the persons considered. His own style is warm, as he recalls that Thackeray said Fielding was the last writer who was allowed to describe a man, or as writes both enjoyably and enjoyingly of H. G. Wells.
Official Bulletin
TODAY
Gooloy 1 lecture, 3:30 p.m.
Dr. George W. White, U. of ill. 402 Lindle-
1
Anthropology Lecture. 4:30 p.m.
Norman B. Tindale, U. of Colo-
Dyke
SUA Religion Forum, 7:00 p.m. Freel.
Sam Jackson, Iowa St. T.J. College.
"Bahal Faith and Today's World." 207
Blake.
Student Peace Union Open Meeting, 7:30 p.m. Kansas Union.
Lectures 7:30 pm, Dr. Raven L. Wannett
Trends in Dialect Studies 207 Blake
Trends in Dialect Studies 207 Blake
Daily Kansan
2
editorial page Monday, March 27, 1967
Flint's In But slowly
UDK Movie Review—In Like Flint
By SCOTT NUNLEY
For the TV viewer who needs a slow evening at the movies to round out his month, "In Like Flint" is a wise investment. Not only is the dialogue slow, the action slow, and the acting low, but the homour is slow as well.
Here is the plot, in blessed brevity: women want the mastery, men are corrupted by the nearness of gain. This sounds vaguely Chaucerian, but that is an insult to a gentleman of Chaucer's years.
"In Like Flint" boasts the ability to make even a simple-minded plot labyrinthian. In addition, "In Like Flint" seems powerful enough to ruin fine actors like James Coburn and Lee J. Cobb. Think what it could do to that thick wax build up.
"Our Man Flint," the original James Coburn answer to Sean Connery, somehow had guts, color, and fun. Perhaps the Flint People failed to read the lesson of "Thunderball:" exaggeration (of gadgets, girls, and gore) only works once. After it has lost the advantage of surprise, exaggeration is a bore.
Those critics too eager to hail the passing of the James Bond fad should be forced to sit through "In Like Flint." "Dr. No," "From Russia with Love," and "Goldfinger" were gems in the rather dull history of the screen thriller. If the "Thunderball" lesson taught someone something, "You Only Live Twice" may be another treat for the world's lusty-minded but weak-hearted citizens.
Woody Allen, David Niven, and those others may have even carried "Casino Royale" into some realm of fun beyond mere madness. It will be two weeks before Allen and Company arrive, however, and "In Like Flint" cannot hold the gap for the silver screen.
Derek Flint's sadistic style of fighting would serve him for 36 seconds against television's capable James West. Any local UNCLE agent could seduce his sorority from that penthouse in the meantime. And Emma Peel would have solved the villainous scheme while Flint was changing clothes.
"In Like Flint" will not be on forever, goodness knows. The discriminating moviegoer (who has seen "Doctor Zhivago") will save his money for — "Monkees, Go Home?" Well, perhaps a comfortable chair this weekend before the TV set. . . .
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY kansan
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FEIFFER