Our man Hoppe
Mission accomplished?
(Editor's Note—The editors feel that KU students would like to read some more on the California situation, so there follows a column for your edification by a well-known political satirist, Arthur Hoppe. If you enjoy this column and would like to see more by "Our Man Hoppe," please let us know.)
The search for a new President for the University of California appeared a mere formality today with the post almost certain to go to Dr. Homer T. Pettibone.
While other distinguished Americans, such as J. Edgar Hoover, General Curtis LeMay and Senator Eastland, have been mentioned, Dr. Petitbone, except for one small handicap, is ideally suited for the position.
Tall, broad-shouldered, silver-haired, Dr. Pettibone looks every inch a university president. His extensive wardrobe include baggy tweed jackets for strolls about the campus, conservative pin-striped suits for meetings of the Board of Regents, and friends say his elegance in dinner jackets will prove a tremendous asset at fund-raising banquets.
But it is his forward-looking program that has won him overwhelming support. "A great university," he says, "deserves an unbroken record of excellence. And our first requirements to achieve that record are a quarterback who can throw long and a heavier defensive line."
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But Dr. Pettibone feels strongly that a wellrounded university life should also include academic pursuits. To this end, he has proposed a new multi-million-dollar building program primarily to construct a 12-foot-high wall
around each campus topped with barbed wire, searchlights and guard towers.
"Order and discipline are essential to a quiet scholastic atmosphere," he says. "And I believe a widely-expanded campus security force, armed with cattle prods, will insure it."
No prude, Dr. Pettibone holds that sex has its place on each of the university's nine campuses. "The female sex has its place on four of the campuses and the male sex on the other five," he says, firmly. "Co-education is sex education."
To consume the time and energy now wasted on the latter, Dr. Pettibone proposes a unique work-study program. After classes each day the students would be marched to a new Student Activity & Jute Mill Center, where they would learn good habits, make potato sacks and help put the university on a paying basis.
As for studies, D. Pettibone feels the present confusing plethors of degrees should be replaced by a single one in Americanism. Each lecture hour, he believes, should open with the Pledge of Allegiance, a loyalty oath, the Star-Spangled Banner and a selection from The Thoughts of H. L. Hunt. The remaining 15 minutes, in the traditions of academic freedom, would be devoted to whatever approved subject the student wished to minor in.
But, above all. Dr. Pettibone hopes to project a new image of the student so that the public will easily recognize a Cal man—primarily by his shaved head and blue denim uniform.
"This will be of great help in rounding them up," he explains grimly. "in case some hardened trouble-makers stage a breakout."
Just 4 days into the semester and already I'm 9 weeks behind.
Doug Weaver here
Former football coach at K-State, Doug Weaver, now a KU law student, was seen going through the new student procedures Thursday and Friday. Weaver said that his choice of the KU law school was made on the basis that he thought that he could benefit best here at KU. Good choice, Doug!
2 Daily Kansas editorial page Thursday, February 9. K 67
Masters of deceit a modern fable
Grand Generalissimo Tippecanoe of the American Fightin' Men of Yesteryear was in the office the other day to give his monthly warning about Commy spies on campus.
"Well, Tippy." I said, "what have you got for us this month. A bit of perversion in the English department, maybe?"
But Generalissimo Tippy wasn't in the mood for frivolity.
"LOOK, YOU RED HERRING, this time I've got something really big. Our national security is in trouble."
Gee, I thought, he might really have something now. The last time he was so excited was when Eisenhower got reelected.
"OK, Tippy, shoot."
"Yeah. That's the one that J. Edgar Hoover and Ev Dirkson are afraid of—something about more spies than the FBI can handle."
"THAT'S THE ONE, comrade. They're gonna send a bunch of spies over here and we're gonna have to treat 'em like diplomats. Just think of it—Red agents right down the pike in Kansas City. Next thing you know, they'll be letting furren students into KU!"
"You mean foreign students?"
"You've heard about that consular treaty with the Soviet Reds?"
I didn't believe it.
"Yeah. Furreners... Commies!"
"TIPPY. WE ALREADY HAVE foreign students at KU. Matter of fact, there's always been foreign students here."
I told him that I didn't think any of the foreign students were Commy spies, and that he didn't have to call out the Minutemen on this one.
"What! You mean the Commies have already infiltrated?"
But the Generalissimo was dispirited.
"You mean that while I was playing second fiddle in the 69th Naval Depet Band during World War II, Commy spies were already sneaking around Mt. Oread?"
"WELL, TIP, IF THAT'S the way you look at it, I guess so."
Heart-breken, Tippy folded up his flag, picked up the telephone and told Mother to forget the apple pie. —Dan Austin
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY kansan
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"The University has to come to terms with the world of reality."-Ronald Reagan
KU Theatre-review School for Scandal
By GARY MITCHELL
Every man should take the opportunity to see the production of a Restoration comedy at least once in his lifetime. KU Theatre's production of "The School for Scandal" which plays through this Saturday night is free for the asking. The acting of Tom Rea, Sylvia McConnell, Susan Tisdall, Julia and Steve Callahan, Richard Kelton and Clayton Crenshaw and the very funny playing of the famous "screen scene" make the long evening nearly worth one's time.
An audience tends to blame the playwright for having written too much of one is called upon to sit in the theatre for three-and-a-half hours; or in the event that the playwright is dead and unable to receive the censure, an audience feels rightly justified in accusing the director of failing to make judicious cuts or for not employing a crisper pace or adequate variety.
THE KU PRODUCTION presents "Scandal" in its entirety including numerous additional lines as well. The chance to see the whole play is an opportunity not to be slighted. Unfortunately, we are not presented with the play as Sheridan wrote it. Instead of the five-act form, Jack Brooking, director of the production, chose to restructure the play into three acts. Whether done to cut down on time spent at intermissions or to "speed up" the play itself, for whatever reason, the sad fact is the three-act revision seriously alters the play.
For example, changing the original "screen scene" climax of act fear to the opening scene of "act three" substantially weakens the play and its inner tensions, resulting in what seems to be a long second act and an even longer third act.
Overlooking that (if one can, consciously or otherwise), one fin's the production to be of generally high caliber.
Co tuning by Chez Hacib and set designs by James Hawes deserve special praise for being simple, artful as well as functional.
WHEN ENUNCIATION was good it was very, very good, but when it was bad it was wretched.
Poor diction and irritatingly flat inflection patterns plagued most of the cast but there were striking exceptions. Tom Rea, Sean Griffin, Dennis Dalen, Sylvia McConnell, Susan Tisdall, Richard Kelton, John Morgan, and Steve and Julia Callahan handled many flendishly difficult speeches with finesse and clarity. Marred by occasional poor projection or unclear diction, acting by Clayton Crenshaw, Wayne Shahan, and David lackwell was nonetheless competent.
The production is uneven. The pretentiously didactic program notes give one every impression that the original play will be strictly followed. Not so, in fact. There is beautiful diction but there is unintelligible mumble. There are scenes between Mr. and Mrs. Teazle as fresh and as believable as one could ask, but there are scenes at Lady Sneerwell's that seem painfully artificial. There is, generally, no resolution of the problem of technique vs. method acting that Dr. rooking discusses at great length in the program notes.
KU's production has serious though not fatal flaws. The fact that "Scandal" has reached the stage in any semblance of order and decorum reveals courage, fortitude and, when all is said and done, remarkable success despite the insurmountable problems inherent in the project.
THE LAST STRAW
AVRANCES, France—(UFI)
—Francoisie Joilet didn't compain formally when her mail was stolen, placed no charges when her telephone was cut, or when her windows were broken by thrown rocks. But when a coffin was delivered to her door she put police on the trail and they found Alam Auvray, a minor official at the town hall of nearby Mont. St. Michel. Confessing he was the culprit, he said he "didn't like" Miss Joilet. He was given three months in jail to repent his methods or showing it.