Monday, May 21, 1962 University Daily Kansan I
Bacteriology Prof. Gets Study Grant
James M. Akagi, assistant professor of bacteriology at KU, was awarded $17,110 by the U.S. Public Health Service for the first year of basic studies on sulfate reducing bacteria.
Pending congressional appropriations, he may also receive $16,323 for each of four more years, which would bring the total support for the project to $82,402.
Helping Prof. Akagi in his studies are two undergraduate technicians, Dale M. Peterson, Paola junior, and Charles E. Schwegler, Lawrence sophomore, and two graduate students, Clarence S. Buller of Peabody and Martin Wilder of Brooklyn, N.Y.
Prof. Akagi began his study at the Western Reserve Medical School in Cleveland, Ohio in 1959. When he came to KU in September, 1961, he applied for the government grant.
Students Beat 'Hearts' Record
TORONTO — (UPI) Thirty students at the University of Toronto, working in relays, recently completed a 126-hour game of "hearts." They broke the record set previously at 102 hours by students from McGill University.
12 Students Will Study in Mexico
A faculty member and 12 KU students of Spanish will combine travel and six weeks of summer language study at the University of Guanajuato, Mexico.
Gary Hill, assistant instructor of Romance languages, is assistant registrar of the 230-year-old Mexican university's summer school, and has advised the informally organized dozen.
The students are free to travel as they please, and after arriving at Guanajuato they may select lodging in hotels, private homes or boarding houses.
Classes will begin July 2, and end
Robin Hood Rides Again
ST. LOUIS, Mo.—(UPI)—Prisoner Charles Marx, 20, lost his job in the workhouse clothing room yesterday because of his unique disbursement methods.
Warden Peter Nicholas discovered that Marx had been distributing the clothing worn to jail by incoming inmates to his friends when they were released.
August 15. Classes will meet in the mornings and courses of study offered are: Spanish language, grammar and conversation; Literature; History, Spanish and Mexican; Mexican arts and crafts; and Mexican Folklore. Tuition for the six-week session is $60.
The 12 students are: (Seniors)
Paula Jenkins, Washington, D.C.; Nancy Brethour, Junction City; and Betsy Wiemer, Bartlesville, Okla.
(Juniors) Gee Geistfeld, Washington, Kansas, and Bill Perry, Webb City.
Col. Sanders Recipe
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Tennis...$8
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Barrel - 25 pieces, 10 hot rolls ---- $5.00
with
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Tennis ... $7
Badminton ... $6
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MOISTURE IMMUNE
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Tennis ... $5
Badminton ... $4
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Roads Ruined in Goa
Summer Closing May 29
Mo. (Sophomores) Sten Murrah, Hutchinson, and Susan Mustard, Wichita. (Freshmen) Martha Allen, Lawrence; Judy Nelson, Kansas City, Mo.; Susie Gerlash, Tarkio, Mo.; Helen Thele, Marysville, and Kathel Payne, Prairie Village.
NEW DELHI — (UPI) — Portuguese soldiers destroyed $1.4 million worth of property on the eve of India's takeover of Goa, the Foreign Ministry told parliament today. Most of the damage was to roads and bridges.
Kansan Classified Ads Get Results
On Campus with Max Shulman
(Author of "I Was a Teen-ege Dwarf", "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis", etc.)
TILL WE MEET AGAIN
This is the final column of my eighth year of writing for the makers of Marlboro Cigarettes, and this year, as in every preceding year, when I come to the last column of the season, I come to a problem.
All the same, when it comes time to write this column, I light a good Marlboro Cigarette, put aside my trauma, and try with all the strength in my tiny body to make some jokes. Sometimes it works better than others, but on the last column of the year, it just flatly doesn't work at all.
My contract with the makers of Marlboro calls for me to write a humor column and, truly, I do the best I can—all things considered, I am not, I should explain, a jolly man by nature. Why should I be? First of all, I am shorter than everybody. Second, there are moths in my cashmere jacket. Third, I work in television.
I leapt up from my typewriter and ran as fast as my little fat legs would carry me to the makers of Marlboro Cigarettes, and I tugged my forelock, and I said, "Sirs, I am well aware that you have engaged me to write a humor column, but today, as I approach the final column of the season, I am far too misty to be funny, for the final column of the season is, after all, a leave-taking, and when I think of saying goodbye to my audience—the sweetest audience any columnist ever had—the college students of America—wonderful human beings, every man and
Even in the very beginning this was true—and that, you will recall, was eight years ago when I was relatively young and strong and had not yet developed that nasty knock in my transmission. Well do I remember sitting down to write the final column of my first year. Day followed barren day, and not a yock, not a boffo, not a zinger did I produce. I was about to give up humor and take a job selling mechanical dogs when all of a sudden, in a blinding flash, I realized why I couldn't think of any jokes!
woman of them—wise but kindly—astute but compassionate—perspicacious but forbearing—when, sirs, I think of saying goodbye to such an audience. I am too shook up even to consider levity, and so I ask you, sirs, to let me, in the final column of the year, forego humor and instead write a simple, dignified, straightforward farewell."
Then I took out my bandanna, wiped my eyes, ears, nose, and throat and waited for a reply from the makers of Mariboro.
They sat around the polished board room table, the makers, their handsome brows knit in concentration, puffing thoughtfully on the Marlboros in their tattooed hands. At length they spoke, "Yes," they said simply.
I never doubted they would say yes. People who make a cigarette as good as Marlboro must themselves be good. People who lavish such care on blending tobaccos so mild and flavorful, on devising a filter so clean and white, on boxing a flip-top box so flip-top, on packing a soft pack so soft—people like that are one hundred percent with me!
And so from that day forward, the final column of the year including the one you are, I devoutly hope, now reading makes no attempt to be funny, but is instead a simple thank you and au revoir.
Thank you and au revoir, makers of Martiboro. The memory of our eight years together will remain ever fresh in my heart, and I would like to state for all the world to hear that if you want me back again next year, I shall expect a substantial raise in salary.
Thank you and au revoir, college students of America. May good luck attend all your ventures. Stay well. Stay happy. Stay loose.
© 1962 Max Shulman
- * *
Small Max has said it all. We, the makers of Mariboro Cigarettes, can only add a heartfelt second chorus: Stay well. Stay happy. Stay loose.