CLASSIFIED
MISCELLANEOUS
FOUND
BEVERAGES — All kinds of six-paks ice cold. Crushed ice in water repellent closed paper bags. Picnic, party supplies. Plant, 6th & Vermont. Phone VI 91-0350.
FOUND IN FRAER HALL: 1 purse of cosmetics, 8 head scarves, 1 Parker found in a case, Stendhal book — "The Red and the Black", 2 neck scarves, 1 brown men's glove, 1 black leather glove, 2 black leather gloves, 1 white ladies' glove, ladies' black suede gloves, 1 brown glove, 3 ear nail muff, 1 brown ear muff, 3 umbrellas. Claim at 111 Flint;
HELP WANTED
Students: For full or part time sales work. May work anywhere in the United States for a variety of purposes, not afraid of work. For full details, dial VI 3-1626 from 5 to 7 p.m.
MILLIKEN'S "SOS" needs several qualified stenographers and secretaries for part time and full time work. Call VI 3-5920 for interview. tf
Experienced IBM tabulator operator for summer work Call Jerry Davis at 5-16
FOK RENT
Air conditioned, large, furnished recreation room apt. for 3 boys. Stove, refire, private bath. Linens furnished. 2417 Ohio VI 3-7734    5-18
2 bedrm. duplex apt., refrig., stove, automatic washer, garage. 2511 W. wth. $90 per mo. Call VI 3-6728 after 5 or VI 3-0641 during day.
THE HOF. Beautifully decorated, ex-
cellent team. Graduate men. One block from Union.
Private entrance. parking. Air condi-
tion. Room up for presentation.
phone 3-8343. Fight 5-17
Nearly new furnished two bedroom apt. June 1. 3-minute walk to law school. Private parking, new kitchens, automatic washer. For app. call VI 3-8534.
Available June 1. Completely furnished
machines on board. £2500 at
1510 Ky. Apt. C. VI 3-0017. 5-15
ENTIRE SECOND FLOOR. 4 room duplex
couple or couple for summer only. Will accept 1
baby. clean, furnished. 2 bedrm, private
room. Mail resume to Miss Smith at Weaver Dept. Store. 5-15
1 bedroom. arm furnished or unfurnished
8322 for appt.
Call V-5 14-
3822 for appt.
U-HAU  TRAILERS: Local or one-way service at Tf and Mh gateway. WI 1-2-0401. 5-23
Don't fight the heat this summer! Study in centrally air conditioned apts.
$75 and Up Furnished & unfurnished Call or come out to see other outstanding features.
Park Plaza Apartments
VI 2-3416 1912 W.25th
Large quiet 1st floor for studious men or women. Would consider married couple. Adjacent to south KU, private bath & entrance. Phone VI 3-3293. 5-16
GRADUATE OR SENIOR MEN. Bachelor furnished, private parking. Three minute walk to Fraser. Real summer com- plete rates. For appointment VI-38543.
FURISHED 1 bedram. apt. Nice for couple. Available June 6. Call VI 2-2206
Furnished 4 room house for next fall to
available for summer school VI 3-8458
5-16
VERY SPACIOUS 2 BEDROOM. 3rd floor, private entrance, off street parking. Close to KU and downtown, very reduced rent. Available June 1st. Call VI 3-6196.
Will rent or sell furnished or unfurnished a 3 bedroom house with full basement. L. R. carpeted. Garage Southeast. Avail. July lst. Call VI 3-4650 after 6. 5-23
To Rent - Board and room for summer session & next fall - VI 3-4385. tf
LARGE  NICELY  FURNISHED  apt. 2
POWERFIXED  FURNISHED  apt. 2
Available. now 521. La VI 2-0741
ROOMS FOR THE SUMMER - 1/2 block from Union, single and double rooms for students in the building & by bites. See at 1501 Louisiana or call VI-3492 after 5 or on weekends.
TRANSPORTATION
WOULD LIKE TO JOIN OR START a car pool from KU to Med. Center start-ing June 11 through August 13. Call VI 2-2594.
Student would like ride to New York or vicinity. Will share expenses. Can leave anytime after June 17th. Call VI 3-9800, Harvey Jacobson. 5-19
FOR SALE
1958 MGA, white with wire wheels, rebuilt engine. $1350 Call Allen Carrigo in rm. 208, J.R.P. VI 3-7415 after five. 5-14
8x46 Melody Home, 2 bedrooms, carpeted,
air conditioned. Phone VI 2-2350 after 5,
anytime Sat, or Sun, or contact Lloyd
Buzzi at Bob's Trailer Court. 5-11
1959 2 bedroom 36x8 Mobile home in
interior, 4 bedroom interior, 13 drawers, 10 ft closet space,
built-in line closet and clothes hamper.
end after 5, 1417 E. 15th, 3rd from floor
5-17
GUNS: LAWRENCE FIREARMS CO.
NEW & USED GUNS, & AMMO. SPE-
CIAL THIS WEEK. HUGGER JS. MA-
AT STUPIDLY LOW PRICE. 1346
QHQI.
MEDICAL STUDENTS: Senior medical student wishes to sell a 1951 8x31 Conformal excellent condition. Extra bedridn serves as study. New drapes, new divan, and evaporation blocks from KU Medical Center. 3690 Rainbow, K.C., KAES. Kansas 3-241. 5-23
1953 Super 80 QDsmobile. Extra clean.
$300.00. Call VI 2-2769. **tf**
Will sacrifice. sell near new $700 Carrier
freezer for $250. I3-78288. tt
One bedroom air conditioned trailer
shaded spot. Call VT 2-2530. 5-14
8 mm Bell & Howell movie camera plus telephoto lens, matching Fickings Reed chairs with end table and large round coffee table, matching oak finish mongolian coffee table, oystern double mattress & box springs, like new. Call VI 2-1521. 5-15
1958 Sylvania portable TV — very good condition — antenna, lead-in wire, stand.
All for only $85. Call VI 2-2553 after 5 p.m.
tt
1957 37x8 two bedroom trailer. Must sell by June 1. See after 6:00 p.m. back row at Skyline Trailer Ct., E. 23rd St. 5-14
ELECTROLUX VACUUM CLEANERS FOR SALE: New machines & a few refe-
rent servicing & delivery. F, V. Cox, local man-
ager. 1904 Barker. Phone VI 3-3277.
HAPPY SHOPFING always at Grant's Drive-In Pet Center — most complete pet center. Pet phone 2921 Modern self-service. Open 8 to 6:30 wk. week days. tt
1952--35 x 8 Star TRAILER HOUSE
Large study room. Completely furnished.
A REAL BUY FOR $1175. VI 3-4881, 7th
& Arkansas.
Nice $2 foot 1960 CATALINA TRAILER
HOUSE. 10" wide, 2 bedrooms, automatic
bedroom. 17'x14'. Balance owing — $290 down. Underwood
Inv. Co. V 3-3875. 1117 Mass. St. tt
OLYMPIA PORTABLE typewriter, precision made to perform like an upright. typewriter sales, service, rentals. Lence Typewriter, 753 Mass. VI 3-864
PRINTED BIOLOGY STUDY NOTES: 60 pages, complete outline of lecture; comprehensive diagrams and definitions; new edition: formerly known as the Theta Notes; Call VI 2-0742 anytime. Free delivery. $4.50. tf
ATTENTION PRE-MED students: Third year medical student must sell his Bausch Cali V 3-9875 come to 907 Akk. for more information.
GENERAL BIOLOGY STUDY NOTES.
complete with diagrams, comprehensive
definitions, and time saving charts.
Handy cross index for quick reference.
$3.50; free delivery. Phone VI 3-7553.
VI 3-5778. tf
STUDY NOTES for Botany, History 7,
Intro. Accounting, American Economics
Development Also course outline
7 (Shafter) Call Bob Schartz,
VT 1569-523
8-23
ADS
BUSINESS SERVICES
Will baby sit in my home. $2 a day
from campus. References:
VI 3-2263. 5-22
Spencer Riding Academy, $1.50 per hour.
Open 24 hours daily. Hayrack rides day
or night. 17 miles west on Highway 40
Phone TU 7-6318. 5-21
BABYSITTING WANTED — nice home.
fenced yard, no traffic problem. $40 an hour or $10 a week. 8-5. References, VI 3-
7828.
INVISIBLE REWEAVING. Fabric re-
woven so damage cannot be seen. Cig-
arette burns, moth holes, tears or snags
repaired. Call VI 2-2533. tt
RENT a new electric portable sewing machine, $1 per week. Free delivery if rented for two weeks or more. White Sewing Center, 916 Mass. VI 3-1267.
LITERATIONS — Call Gail Reed, VI 3-154,
or 921 Miss. tf
DRESS MAKING and alterations. For-
mentations. Ola Smith (1891); Mass. Cali VI 3-5263.
TYPEWRITERS — Sales, service, rentals.
Office supplies, school supplies. Lawrence
typewriter Exchange, 735 Mass., VI 3-
3644.
tt
GRANTS Drive-In to Pet Center, 1218
northwest 65th Street, one stop -- save time & money. Fish,
birds, hamsters, chameleons, turtles,
etc., plus complete lines of
pet supplies.
GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY I Lecture and Lab. Discussion STUDY NOTES are now available. Price is revised and comprehensive. Price: $4. Call Vi 2-7352 free delivery.
TYPING
EXPERIENCED TYPIST; theses, term papers, manuscripts. Contact either Joetta or Carolen during day—KU 727. After 5 Joetta VI 2-2305. Carolien VI 3-1379. 5-23
EXPERIENCED TYPIST: Term papers.
application letters. Electric typewriter -- Special symbols & signs. Prompt service. Robert Cook, 200
Rhode Island, VI 3-7485.
"Experienced, neat, accurate typing done on term papers, theses, dissertations, etc. Standard rates. Call VI 2-1726, Mrs. Martha Teegaler, Stouffier 3." tt
MILLIKEN'S "SOS" now offers profes-
sionals in DL1-5920, DL3-5920,
preferred. VI 3-5920, 10212; Mass., tf
Experienced typist would like typing in
seasonal rates. Call VI T-2651 any time.
"GOOD TYPING ENHANCES A GOOD PAPER, and creates a favorable impress-
typing rate. For excelle-
typing at standard rates, call Miss Lou-
 Pope, PCI 3-1097.
EXPERIENCED TYPIST: Will type theses, term papers, and themes, neatly on new electric typewriter. Call Tef Fulcher, VI 3-0558, 1031 Miss. tsf
EXPERIENCED TYPPI will do typing
name — call VI 3-9136. Los Lo-
gibach
Typing by experienced typist, electric
driver. Rates. Mrs. Doris Patterson.
VI 3-5833
Reasonable rate, prompt and accurate service. Mrs. Bodin. VI 3-3186. tf
TYPING: Experienced typist. Former secretary will type theses, term papers, presentations, Research Notes, Requires rates. Electric typewriter. Mrs. Mc-Eldowney. Ph. VI 3-8568.
EXPERIENCED TYPIST: Immediate attention to term papers, reports, theses, etc. Neat, accurate service at reasonable rates. Call Mrs. Charles Patti, VI 3-8379
Experienced typist. 6 years experience in thesis and term papers. Electric typewriter, fast accurate service. Reasonable price. Mrs. Barlow, 408 W. 13th, VI 1648, 1648.
THESES, reports, term papers typed neatly, accurately by experienced typist, typewriter. Reasonable rate. Marian Graham, 1619 Delaware. Ct I-3 0483-8
FORMER SECRETARY with electric typewriter writes to do typing. Reasonable rates. Call Mrs. Nancy Cain at V1 3-0524. tt
Read and Use Kansan Classifieds
VALUABLE COUPON
This Coupon — When Presented Between the Hours of 2:00 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.
Monday Thru Friday
Entitles You to Four (4) Delicious
HAMBURGERS
Page 7
University Dally Kansan
Monday, May 14, 1962
WANTED
355-57 sedan or station wagon. Call Richard Burke, Ex. 518 or I. 2-1324. 5-18
Graduate or upperclassman to share nice air-conditioned apt. for summer school. Reasonable rent. Must have car. Contact Max. VI 3-3447 after 11:00 p.m.
WANTED: One English bicycle. Call VI 3-
2700. Ext. 376. Ask for Betty.
Used portable typewriter, preferably by May 8. Call Pad Press V[2]-1340 g-14
LOST
Reward for return of sun glasses, heavy black frames. Left in Strong basement between two windows. Two indispensable to me. Appreciate your calling VI 3-4245 evenings. 5-14
PAIR OF GLASSES IN BROWN CASE.
Call VI 2-2984. 5-15
On Campus with Max Shulman
Author of "I Was a Teen-age Dwarf", "The Many
Loves of Dobie Gillis", etc.)
CRAM COURSE NO. 5: SHAKESPEARE
Continuing our series of pre-final exam cram courses, today we take up the works of William Shakespeare (or "The Bard of Avon" as he is locularly called).
First let us examine the persistent theory that Shakespeare (or "The Pearl of the Antilles" as he is affectionately referred to) is not the real author of his plays. Advocates of this theory insist that the plays are so full of classical allusions and learned references that they couldn't possibly have been written by the son of an illiterate country butcher.
To which I reply, "Faugh!" Was not the great Spinoza's father a humble woodcutter? Was not the immortal Isaac Newton's father a simple second baseman? (The elder Newton, incidentally, is one of history's truly pathetic figures. He was, by all accounts, the greatest second baseman of his time, but baseball, alas, had not yet been invented.) It used to break young Isaac's heart to see his father get up every morning, put on uniform, spikes, glove, and cap, and stand alertly behind second base, bent forward, eyes narrowed, waiting, waiting. That's all—waiting. Isaac loyally sat in the bleachers and yelled, "Good show, Dad!" and stuff like that, but everyone else in town used to snigger and pelt the Newtons with overripe fruit—figs for the elder Newton, apples for the younger. Thus, as we all know, the famous occasion came about when Isaac Newton, struck in the head with an apple, leapt to his feet, shouted, "Europa!" and announced the third law of motion: "For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction!"
(How profoundly true these simple words are! Take, for example, Marlboro Cigarettes. Light one. That's the action. Now what is the reaction? Pleasure, delight, contentment, cheer, and comfort! And why such a happy reaction? Because you have
started with a happy cigarette—a felicitous blend of jolly tobacco, a good-natured filter, a rollicking flip-top box, a merry soft pack. As Newton often said, "You begin with better makin's, you end with better smokin's." Small wonder they called him "The Swedish Nightingale!")
But I digress. Back to Shakespeare (or "The Gem of the Ocean" as he was righably appolated).
Shakespeare's most important play is, of course, Hamlet (or Macbeth, as it is sometimes called). This play tells in living color the story of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, who one night sees a ghost upon the battlements. (Possibly it is a goat he sees: I have a first folio edition that is frankly not too legible.) Anyhow, Hamlet is so upset by seeing the ghost (or goat) that he stabs Polonius and Bare Bodkin. He is thereupon banished to a leather factory by the King, who cries, "Get thee to a tannery!" Thereupon Ophelia refuses her food until Laertes shouts, "Get thee to a beaney!" Ophelia is so miffed that she chases her little dog out of the room, crying, "Out, out damned Spot!" She is fined fifty shillings for swearing, but Portia, in an cloquent plea, gets the sentence commuted to life imprisonment. Thereupon King Lear and Queen Mab proclaim a festival—complete with amateur theatricals, kissing games, and a pie-eating contest. Everyone has a perfectly splendid time till Banquo's ghost (or goat) shows up. This so unhinges Richard III that he drowns his cousin, Butt Malmsey. This leads to a lively discussion during which everyone is killed. The little dog Spot returns to utter the immortal curtain lines:
Alack, the play forsooth was sad and sobby.
But be of cheer—there's Marlboros in the lobby!
© 1962 Max Shulman
As the slings and arrows of outrageous finals loom closer, perchance the makers of Marlboro are not untoward to offer this friendly suggestion: Get thee to a library!