'First robin of spring has arrived'
By STEVE NAFUS Kansan Staff Correspondent
While walking down Jayhawk Boulevard this morning, near Wescoe Hole, this reporter spotted the first robin of spring.
Inasmuch as this was a memorable event, I quickly contrived to get an exclusive interview for the University Daily Kansan.
Wrenching a branch from a nearby mighty bush for
camouflage, I stealthily approached the frolicking fowl.
"Hey man, you don't have any salt in your hand do you?" he inquired.
I was momentarily stunned "Uh, no," I answered.
"It's a good thing for you," he said, "I'm getting pretty tired of people sneaking up and pulling that old salt-on-the-bird's-tail gag."
"I can imagine," I imagined.
Spring? Photo by Rick Pendergrass
'KU communism dead' says Topeka publisher
The KU Communist, an invisible prey often hunted but seldom trapped, may soon be as extinct as the Dodo bird or the Unicorn.
No great ice age or conservative pressure has caused the gradual disappearance of the true "Communist" from the campus, contends Bert C. Carlyle, Topeka publisher.
Evolution is at the root of the extinction, Carlyle said.
Carlyle, in a 1965 editorial in his Topeka Pictorial Times, wrote: "There is one of the most active Communist cells in the United States in the Kansas University faculty and student body."
The Topeka publisher said he cannot make such a statement today because radical groups who fostered Communism in the past have shunned it as old-fashioned.
"The members of the New Left, of the militant bodies, have gone beyond Communism because it hasn't kept up with the times," the publisher said.
"There is still no question in my mind there are a small number of Communists in some radical organizations," Carlyle said. "And it's a matter of record that the Communist Party at its last national
Mar. 12
1969 KANSAN 15
convention stated purposes to support the New Left."
Carlyle contends, however, the majority in radical organizations is not Communist.
The New Left, despite its disavowal of traditional communism, drew criticism from Carlyle. "I definitely think the New Left is the sick segment of our society," he said. "They're very immature in believing there are simple solutions to our problems."
"It is my opinion the New Left is just as subversive as the Communists were." Carlyle said. "There always has been a segment on our campuses which seeks to abolish what conservatives have struggled to preserve."
Carlyle said he does not support laws which would limit the New Left's right to express opinions peacefully. "They force us to re-examine our motives and our ideals," he said.
"It's not the salt on the feathers so much as in the eyes. Most people don't know how to toss salt, and it gets all in my eyes so I can't see the worms."
"It's the early bird who gets the worms." I laughed.
"But the more I examine our system, the more I am convinced that, while our society isn't perfect, it is the best we can practically work for," Carlyle said.
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The robin did not laugh. Instead he sort of wrinkled his nose in a snarl, which is difficult for a robin.
"Whadda you want, Jack? I mean, why are you hanging around here with the tree in your hair? You aren't a narc, are you?"
"No, no," I assured him, "I wanted to interview you. You are the first robin of spring are you not?"
"Naw, I'm an un-Sanforized Jayhawk," he kawed. "Of course I'm the first robin of apring. Who else would be dumb enough to be out here in this freezing weather?"
"Really, it is quite nice out today." I observed.
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"Well, they are a little light," I admitted.
"Sure you can say that. You have on a groovy turtleneck sweater and a windbreaker. But look at me. Do you think these feathers keep me warm?"
"They sure are. Besides, feathers are not very stylish.
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"I have a right to be, you humans are always shooting us or siceing your dogs on us or ridiculing us in some other way. We robins have feelings too, you know."
By now he was highly emotional and chewing on a blade of grass.
"You certainly are cynical," I said.
"Why don't you try living on dirty worms or stale weed seed sometime?" he said indignantly. "It's not all that easy being a bird in Kansas."
"Aha! So you really care for us. You really need us, don't you?" I knew I had him and I enjoyed seeing him squirm in his feathery way.
I had to admit I did not.
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much, why do you come back each spring?" I asked.
"We sure do! And another thing—you humans are always tossing out bread crumbs for us birds but they are always stale and dry. Do you like stale bread?"
"Well, uh, because I, uh, well you humans expect it—sort of," he stammered.
The robin realized he had made a mistake and was thoroughly confused about how to get out of his dilemma.
"No, that's not what I said. I mean, that isn't what I meant. I..."
I savored every second of his discomfort, and was not about to let him get off so easily. I pressed the attack.
"I had no idea robins had problems," I said.
You go down to those groovy little shops downtown and buy all those groovy threads, but I have to wear the same suit day after day. Look at this," he said, pointing under his left wing. "A cat got that feather last fall and it still hasn't grown back. I'm tired of wearing torn and tattered clothes."
"Go ahead," I said. "Admit it. Admit you really do like humans. You aren't so cynical after all."
"If you dislike the state so
The silly bird broke completely down and tried to fly away, but he was blinded by his tears and flew into the side of Haworth Hall.
I continued my walk down Jayhawk Boulevard until I spotted a Meadowlark sunning near Hoch Auditorium. Camouflaged by my bush branch, I began to sneak up on him. . .
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