Bless your lungs
Although the KU Board of Regents continually cuts a budget for improvements at Watkins Hospital they care about your health. You may die in the waiting rooms of our student health center before you get to see a doctor, but by God you won't die of lung cancer.
Six years ago, after the Surgeon General's report on the adverse effects of cigarette smoking was published, our Regents banned the sale of cigarettes on state college and university campuses.
Having protected the state's citizens from "demon rum" for so many years, they then became the self-appointed guardians of student lungs.
The incomparable service performed by the Regents has won the praise of students with a devil-may-care attitude who are forced to go to opposite ends of the campus in order to obtain "demon fag."
It's little wonder that KU has such an outstanding reputation for track. Any student who can get to a tavern or cafe for cigarettes between classes and show up on time for the next class is clocking some pretty remarkable speeds. For this contribution to KU athletics, the students are again indebted to the Regents.
Students living in KU residence halls are
probably among the most grateful. Think of the student who has been up all night studying and discovers he is out of cigarettes. This gives him the opportunity to get out of the dorm at 3 a.m. and drive or walk a mile for a Camel—nothing like a little night air is there?
The revenue that the University loses by not selling cigarettes could have been used to improve the student hospital. Since the cancer won't really get to the student for about 15 or 20 years other parts of his anatomy could be salvaged while in college. Who knows-a student might be treated before he has to go present himself to that big dean up in the sky.
The cigarette ban should be held in the same esteem as the loyalty oath, the present liquor-by-the-drink law, and the proposed bill on student and faculty demonstrations. It is just another great stride in progressive Kansas legislation in cooperation with the Regents.
The Regents did allow students one tobaccoed vice—cigar smoking. As a public convenience aimed at KU coeds no doubt, cigars may be purchased in the Kansas Union? The most penetrating of all questions being "should a gentleman offer a lady a Tiparillo?" (JKD)
Rapping Left
By GUS di ZEREGA
Men of many words like to complain that campus radicals are only negative, contributing little but noise and newspaper copy. Hearing this, I'm reminded of the KU of four years when I arrived as a freshman. Closing hours for sophomore women were then 10:30 p.m. on week days; no one had heard of student rights; the majority of the campus was decidedly hawkish, and Greek racism had just become an issue because the year before some students had been rude enough to sit in Chancellor Wescoe's office, get thrown in jail, get bailed out, and come back with many others to do it again. Only then did the administration discover racism.
The year 1965-'66 first saw student rights become an issue when SDS began agitating against the paternalism of our Massa in the big white house on the hill. Later that year the University Party made a deal with SDS: we would help them win the ASC elections and they would push for student rights. An SDS member wrote the UP (now ACT) platform that year. UP won handily. We were thanked and told that it was still up to us to work for student rights at KU. "You know, guys, it was a good issue, but..."
From this we learned that meaningful change cannot come from within an establishment where people put personal power first and decency a poor second. We learned that liberals are America's Pharisees, men of words but no deeds. And we learned that bureaucracies are like mules, to get their attention you have to kick them. (They've wised up at KU since, now all you have to do is thraten to kick them.)
Change at KU over the past four years has been glacial, but most of what has occured has been a direct result of New Left agitation. NONE has been the result of student liberals INITIATING anything.
The Greeks have started to integrate; the library closes at 11:00 instead of 10:00; floor meetings for freshmen are now voluntary; students can freely set up information booths in the Kansas Union; and the University Senate, inadequate and cumbersome as it is, now is a possibility. The ASC has even discovered student rights! And far more importantly, more people are aware of the defects in American society which made rude tactics the only feasible tactics. All this is due to SDS, Student Voice, ISP, and many individuals in organizations who gave their time to build a better school and maybe someday a better world.
The struggle has just begun, even at the campus level. Now a few radicals in an antediluvian ASC and the First Artaud Romantic Tautological Society have brought up the issue of campus cops with guns. The social structure and not just the academic priesthood is being taken on. As usual the liberals just sit on their fat behinds. Rudeness will probably be necessary—or a dead student—before we win.
As Judy Collins sings:
"It isn't nice to" block the door way
It isn't nice to go to jail
There are nicer ways to do it
But the nice ways always fail."
'His role will be very limited. Why, he'll hardly work at all. Actually, he's thinking of early retirement!'
The Hill With It
by john hill
I had just gotten up from a bull session at a local business where fermented liquid refreshment is available for commercial consumption, when a friend of mine named Hutch came over and said hello.
“Hi, Hutch” I said. “Hey, you just missed it. We just solved most of the world's problems. We would have taken care of poverty, hunger, disease and ignorance while we were up, but one of the guys had to go down to MU to write four letter words like 'free' in newspaper articles.”
"But didn't have time to finish your discussion?" His eyes lit up like a hungry lion seeing an unsuspecting zebra. "Proves my point exactly."
I could tell I was supposed to ask him what his point exactly was, so I just nodded, not asking. He told me.
"You know how I invent things occasionally? Well, I recently came up with a way to have discussions on controversial subjects when there's no one else around."
"Well, I think that's sufficiently vague and obscure that—"
"No, I'm serious. It's a great way to aid communication. You know how popular the stereo tape decks are now in cars or in the home, with pre-recorded music on special cassette units? Well, I've got special tapes of what different types of people say. I'm going to call them Stereo-types."
He paused and I said nothing.
"Didja get it? Didja? Stereo-types! See the term is a play on words with—"
But he was dragging me out to his car before I could tell him that I had gotten it, but just didn't want it. He selected a tape that was marked "Radical/Militant" and pushed it in the tape recorder
(click) "The university of today must be changed by overt force since it only stands for irrelevant activity, paternalistic attitudes, institutionalized racism dehumanizing education, military research, and furthering its evolution into a giant military-industrial complex which will sprawl all the way from Eudora to western Lecompton, encompassing—"
“There’s more,” Hutch said, taking it out, and putting it in the left side of his glove compartment, “but you’ve heard it before. It’s a good one to argue with by yourself, or you can put in this one that I call ‘Administrator,’”
(click) "Well, certainly there are, uh, a number of factors to be considered and, uh, well, dealt with clearly and openly. In a complex situation such as this, the position of the university must be one which includes an, uh, understanding of differing viewpoints, more or less. Some of these contain good points and, uh, some of these contain, uh, bad points, but all of them definitely contain points—"
"Or you can have a real mind-expanding discussion with a Redneck who's so conservative he takes out insurance policies on fire, theft, and Indian attack."
(click) “Damn commie-hippie-pinko-agitator-anarchist-punk-kids. Oughta shootem” if they start trouble. And now all this trouble from a few uppity—”
“Well, it's real stimulating.” Hutch said, taking it out and putting in one that was labeled “American Gothic,” “but you don't have to talk just pure politics. Suppose somebody feels like talking to their parents—stop laughing and listen—they just put this tape in to save a trip home.”
(click) "Hiya, son. Say, don't they have any barber shops in Lawrence? Ha ha ... what's that? They got a course in America Negro History? And seminars on racism? Why that sure is silly. They got it pretty good, now, I think, so what's all the ruckus? And that stuff I been readin' about on Vietnam and the draft! Why when I was your age, right after Pearl Harbor, men were anxious to go to war. You're all just kids—don't understand yet about Life. Say, did the Lawrence barbers go on strike? Ha ha."
Hutch reached for a new tape but I stopped him.
"I thought you said that these would be discussions. Everybody says the same predictable things, nobody listens, and nobody ever tries to see someone else's viewpoint."
"See!." Hutch said, proudly. "They're even lifelike! People who think in terms of labels aren't really thinking, they're just rearranging their prejudices. Tape recordings serve very well."
I saw Hutch put a new tape in as I was going back inside the bar, but it didn't say anything so I asked him about it.
"Oh, it's not playing. It's recording what I say in response to the others," he said. "It's still experimental, and I'm sure if something that listens should be with the others—"
"Forget it, Hutch, on that last tape," I said going back inside. "it'll never sell. . ."
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