A new sport
It's the start of a new season for University Housing officials and the name of the game is "getting to students for fun and profit."
The latest match finds Eric Parton, Overland Park sophomore and Templin Hall resident, battling Mrs. Margaret Reitz, hall housemanager and Ernest E. Pulliam, assistant director of housing.
The game began at 4 p.m. Jan. 11, when an unknown assailant ignited lighter fluid outside Parton's door. Parton was penalized $40 in damages by the "dynamic duo" of the housing office. Parton retaliated by using professional materials to repair the door.
University officials disqualified Parton on the grounds that he had not participated in B&G tournaments and he says they told him to pay up or face expulsion.
During a time-out Parton discovered an identical door, selling at a local lumber company for $19.95, but the referee disqualified it on grounds of insufficient quality and stuck to the $40 penalty.
The victors are, those Olympians of the Establishment—the University Housing officials. Not only have they won the match, but victory is achieved with $20.05 of bonus points.
In the real American spirit of good sportsmanship, the rules of the game could be questioned:
First, must one employ vigilantes to protect University property, such as residence hall doors, when he is in class or elsewhere?
Secondly, if the concern for damaging residence hall property does not belong to University Housing officals when students aren't there—who does it belong to?
Lastly, what price victory, housing officials? Forty is a brutal blow. And, at with a $20.05 profit, it's below the belt.
The element of chance could easily be removed from the game. If students living in KU residence halls simply stay in their rooms 24 hours per day to guard their doors and door knobs, they won't have to worry about penalties. They may miss a few classes, but with the rising cost of residence hall doors, such an incident could prevent them from going to school anyway.
However, the University housing office does provide a consolation prize to students living on-campus. In the event that a University residence hall is sabotaged or destroyed by an act of God, the student is not penalized for loss of the building and the University Housing office forfeits the game. (JKD).
Off the Walls
"Custer died for our sins"
"Adam sinned for our deaths"
"They got the guns,but we got the numbers"
"Have you ever stopped to wonder As you wander on this sphere, Just who you are and what you are And what you're doing here?"
"J. Edgar Hoover uses a night light"
"Tomorrow is cancelled - God"
"God is cancelled—Tomorrow"
"What is Fat City?"
"20th century man is degenerate"
'I'm amazed at the publicity for the loss of a few birds.'
Signers should know what they uphold
By MIKE SHEARER
I hereby pledge to do my best not to support the constitution of the State of Kansas.
The constitution and laws of Kansas hold so many ludicrously obsolete and morally invasive elements that state employees who sign the Kansas loyalty oath are, in most cases, liars, prostitutes and hypocrites.
Understandably, many KU employees, from instructors to clerks and from custodians to student aids, will sign the oath to uphold the dogma of the State of Kansas with every intention of doing quite the opposite. Others, with less moral hesitancy, sign the oath with no knowledge whatever of what they are vowing to support.
They should know that the state narcotic laws don't even reach the
And if these people who have no moral qualms about condoning the invasion of our privacy find no flaws in the state sex laws, perhaps they should know about state alcohol and narcotics laws.
They should know.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which take the moral responsibility of the use of alcohol out the citizens' hands and put them into the skeletal hands of the Bible-distorting authors of the state's liquor laws.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which make sodomy, bestiality and other "acts against nature" punishable by both sentence and fine, when these "acts against nature" cannot feasibly be considered as a danger to society when minors and force are not involved.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which can convict a man of having "unnatural" sex with his legally married wife, because long, long ago in the Camelotian land of Kansas some moral imbeciles in the state capital decided that "thar's only one way a man ougher have you-know-what with his wife."
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which allow the state legislature to sleep in our bedrooms.
level of the American Medical Association's views of the dangers of various drugs, and most medical specialists believe even the AMA has views which are not at all parallel to the reality of drug effects.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which let the state legislature feed us our pleasures through narrow-nippled baby bottles.
And if these people have no moral qualms about letting the state decide whether we can drink whiskey and smoke pot, perhaps they should know the state's capital punishment and 21-year-old voting laws.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which prevent anyone under 21 from voting, despite the fact that no age group has more knowledge of current events or more enthusiasm for politics than does the 18 to 21-year-old group.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which have ranked Kansas in recent years as the most prone to execute convicted criminals, when every major criminal study has shown that capital punishment is not a crime deterrent but a bloody revenge for society's primitive instincts.
They should know that they have offered their support to the Kansas laws which keep Kansas far behind realities sweeping the nation and even further behind ideal penal and poll perspectives.
And if these people who have no moral qualms about denying life to convicted prisoners or about denying representation to a generally mature age group, perhaps they should know the men who are currently running the government of that state which they so haphazardly vow to support.
They should know that Gov. Robert Docking is the very man who told troops in Vietnam that Kansans were more "hawkish than dovish."
They should know that they have a fallible constitution, in need of repair, and fallible leaders, in need of watching.
They are indeed strange men who will pledge to support that which they do not support for a salary, when there is no way possible the state
could fire a mass of protesting non-signers.
But to gather enough perons into a pact of resistance to the oath would take a lot of effort, and it is really a lot easier just to sign the little piece of paper.
For what has a man profited, if he shall gain his soul, and lose his salary?
Reporters Notebook
"Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true."
Demosthenes
Obviously concerned with the Nigerian-Biafran conflict, a KU student overheard one of the cafeteria matrons in the Trail Room of the Kansas Union remark to a co-worker, "Shall I out throw the out pot soup?"
When the answer came back in the affirmative, the incensed student jumped up from his dining table and responded: "Don't throw out the potato soup, send it to Biafra. Throw yourselves out."
One Kansan staffer says the scrapping of student fares on airlines won't bother him. He was 23 when the program was initiated and at 28 still doesn't qualify. As broke as everyone else, he says he cries a lot on the bus during the trip to San Francisco.
A student newspaper serving the University of Kansas, Lawrence, Kansas,
admitted at the University of Kansas daily during the academic year except holidays and examination periods.
Mall subscription rates: $6 a semester, $4 a year, $2 a semester at Lawrence, Kan. 66044. Accommodations, goods, services and employment advertised offered to all students without regard to color, creed or national origin. Applicants must be necessarily those of the University of Kansas or the State Board of Regents.