hearing voices—
(Editor's note: The following letter was written by the secretary of the dean of architecture to the Traffic and Security appeals Committee. A copy was sent to the Kansan in response to a feature article about a journalism professor's experience with traffic tickets.)
I am delighted to have this opportunity to commune with you regarding the recent "loss" of my parking sticker and to relate the complications that resulted in, alas, a parking ticket.
My sticker was stolen plus numerous other items and I appealed to have it replaced without the $10 fee. Your committee agreed to this if "an officer would verify that it had been stolen." This stipulation has been met and I did receive a new sticker without paying an additional fee. Chief Davis was kind enough to look at my car window and verify this fact. Why he could look at my window and verify this and I was unable to do so will remain one of life's mysteries—or perhaps I should say "the mysterious workings of the traffic bureau and associated personnel." I lean toward the feeling that his word is valid and mine is not. I offered to go before a notary public but was told unless the theft was actually witnessed by the notary he would be unable to confirm this. Thank you for your far-sighted solution to a difficult situation. In the future if my sticker is stolen, God forbid, perhaps a member of the committee could look at my window. I would be happy to drive my car up for the appraisal—which brings up another point—I would be unable to get on campus.
When I first came to work at KU as Dean Kahn's secretary I told the guard at the check point that I was to go to Hoch to obtain a parking permit. He told me to park off-campus, walk to Hoch, obtain a permit and return to the car. I was a complete stranger to this part of the country and hadn't the foggiest idea where to go to park. I tried in vain but no luck! This consumed the better part of an hour. I finally drove to another check-point and told the guard I was having lunch with Dean Kahn. Immediately I received a permit and was able to reach the office. One wonders if lunch is more important than work! A suggestion—perhaps you
should designate a place where one could park while obtaining the elusive sticker. I was not even permitted to use the visitors parking lot near the Union.
Now to get down to the nitty gritty—the parking ticket.
I walked up from N, near the field house, and received a temporary sticker from Hoch, good for two weeks while my case was being reviewed. The temporary sticker was stolen the next day, unbelievable as it sounds. The next day, THE DAY OF THE TICKET, was June 11. June 11th as you may recall, the Wakarusa was nearly at flood stage from the hard all-day rain. I came to work at 7:30 a.m. and parked directly behind Marvin so I could wade or swim from there to Hoch. When I came down I already had a ticket on my car although I had left a large sign explaining my plight. Remember it was literally a monsoon. Now the DAY AFTER THE DAY OF THE TICKET the rain had ceased. I parked my car down by the fieldhouse, walked up the hill, walked up 3 flights to the Dean's office, and started work. When traffic opened I walked downstairs and over to Hoch and explained my plight. I was told to walk down to the field house and drive my car up so Chief Davis could verify that the sticker had been stolen. This I did. After the verification I explained to the girl at the window that because Dean Kahn was leaving the next day on
vacation I had a great deal of work to do. I asked if I could leave my car in the empty lot behind Marvin until lunch-time. It was already 10:15. No, this would be impossible. I appealed to higher levels. Still impossible. Kindly remember that this would be my 3rd trip up from the field house. I walked up 3 flights and told Dean Kahn. He suggested I go back to the car while he tried to find his loading zone sticker. He was unable to locate it and sent another secretary down to tell me to go on home. By this time it was 10:45. You can see how many hours of labor this bureaucratic boondoggle cost the University. The time wasted was incredible! Also walking up and down from the field house three times on an extremely hot day is not my favorite form of exercise.
If you have any suggestions for future situations I would greatly appreciate your pearls of wisdom. This lack of communication and unreasonable logic (?) is one of the students' main complaints. A rule, is a rule, is a rule and no exceptions are made for any reason.
Sincerely
June Howe Jewett (Mrs. Jewett's appeal was denied June 22. J. Laurence Day, professor of journalism and the main character of the previous article in the Kansan, reports that he has received yet another ticket. Ah, the trials and tribulations of vehicle owners at KU! —Ed.)
THE SUMMER SESSION KANSAN
The Summer Session Kansan, student newspaper at the University of Kansas, is represented by National Advertising Service, 18 East 50 Street, New York, N.Y., 10022. Mail subscription rates: $6 a semester or $10 a year. Published and second class postage paid at Lawrence, Kansas, every Tuesday and Friday for the duration of the Summer Session. Accommodations, goods, and fees are subject to availability. Kansan are offered to students without regard to color, creed or national origin.
The opinions expressed in the editorial columns are those of the editorial staff of the newspaper. Guest editorial views are not necessarily the same as those of the editor's. Any opinions expressed in The Summer Session Kansan should be reported to the University of Kansas Administration or the Kansas State Board of Regents.
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'Sorry. The president is terribly busy. Perhaps if you cracked a few heads or adopted a right wing philosophy we could work you in!'
A modest proposal
(apologies to Swift)
An article in the Kamper Kansan last Friday suggested several unorthodox sports that might be initiated in the Midwestern Music and Art Camp. The idea of organizing such sports as the Underhand Fork Throw and Map Reading is intriguing, and gives rise to ideas for some sports that might be useful to regular University students.
KU, unlike most colleges and universities, has no required physical education program. Walking to class from almost any dorm, apartment, Greek house, scholarship hall or parking lot necessitates scaling Mount Oread, and the multitude of steps between campus and buildings affords ample exercise to those lucky enough to reside on high ground.
So the usual gamut of sports designed to exercise the body is unnecessary for the majority of students.
What we need are sports designed to aid in the development of skills useful to the student. Perhaps these could even be offered as activity courses for $ \frac{1}{2} $ hour credit a semester.
A number of possibilities spring to mind:
Dodging and Pushing—Skill at this sport would be invaluable for the student who finds himself faced with a class on the third floor of Learned Hall, immediately followed by a class on the second floor of Fraser Hall. Ten minutes (assuming he gets out of his first class on time) are allowed to fight through the crowd of students in Learned, sprint across campus and race up the steps to the classroom in Fraser. The sport is even more challenging if the second class is a required sociology or psychology course meeting in a classroom designed for 40 students.
Forty-five seats are available, 60 students are enrolled in the class and about 10 students will cut class each day. The player must attempt to be in the classroom before the last chair is taken. To make this sport relevant to a wide range of students, other obstacles are thrown in. The student rushing from Murphy to Dyche has the added incentive of weaving in and out of traffic on steps, and the student sprinting from Carruth-O'Leary to the Union gets the fun of dodging cars on Campanile Drive. (No fair going the long way on Jayhawk Boulevard.)
The sport has only a few rules:
1) . Slapping down other students with a textbook or employing a stiff-arm technique to plow through congested areas constitutes a foul.
2) . Once the player has committed himself to a timed run, he may not stop to chat with an acquaintance (waves and panted greetings are permissible), nor may he decide to forget it and cut the second class.
3) . Allowing himself to get stuck behind heavy, slow-moving traffic or accidentally hitting a student standing motionless in the middle of the stream of traffic automatically disqualifies the player.
Find-a-Book- This sport is actually two sports under a general heading. The difference is in the playing court.
"Bookstore Find-a-Book" consists of the player attempting to find and purchase a specific book. To make the sport more interesting, the book must be required immediately and may not be ordered ahead of time. The player is allowed to get assistance only after a fruitless search at least one hour in length.
The player gets 10 points for the first hour of individual search and five points for each 10 minutes of individual search after that. For each employee consulted, he gets another 10 points. Highest score wins the set. If he discovers the required book is out of print or was never written, he gets 1,000 points and automatically wins the game.
The second form of the sport is "Library Find-a-Book." In this sport, the player must find a book, thesis or magazine article desperately needed for a class assignment. Again, the item must be required immediately. No fair putting an absent book on hold.
The player starts in Watson Library. He must ascertain whether the book or other item is in Watson, Spencer, Green or another library. If it is hidden somewhere in Watson, he must attempt to discover the exact location.
The sport is scored much the same as its bookstore counterpart, except the library sporting student gets 100 points if the item is checked out, 200 points if it is on hold for the rest of the semester, 300 points if the only copy is on reserve with at least a dozen students in line for it, and 400 points if it's a periodical out being bound.
Miscellaneous scoring is at the discretion of the player. For example, discovering that all available copies of the book are written in Swahili or Serbo-Croation merits at least 1,000 points.
Topicking—Despite its gerdul form, this sport has no connection with politicking or pinching. It's designed to build up skill in an area familiar to all University students—the task of selecting topics for speeches, papers, theses and reports.
The player may make his choice from a variety of approaches: an original approach to a topical topic: a topical approach to an original topic; an original approach to an original topic, or a topical approach to a topical topic.
Students in obscure fields have a decided advantage in topicking. Not too much has been written, for instance, on the topic of underwater basket weaving or the sociological implications of hybridizing tsetse flies. Those students should devote more time to Find-a-Book sports than topicking.
But other students, particularly scholars of history or English, may find topicking a real challenge. Therefore, the sport should be divided into leagues.
The sport is scored on the basis of the comments given by the instructor on the subject matter, and by how many books, papers and articles on the topic may be found at first glance in the library.
Each player starts with 100 points. If more than 10 such items may be found, the player loses all his points.
If fewer than 10 are found, the player takes 10 points from his starting score for each item found.
If no related items are discovered, the player retains his entire score, wins the game and graduates to Find-a-Book for research on his topic.
The three sports described are by no means intended to be restricted to undergraduate students. They may be enjoyed by all members of the University community, from fledgling freshmen to full professors.
Later, after the new sports are well established, a program of recruiting may be set up, and tryouts held for yell leaders and pompon girls.
But right now we need a basic organization to get the ball rolling. Topicking, anyone