hearing voices—
Lefties,blacks,a satire
To the editor:
This is an apology to all right-handed people who were no doubt shocked and outraged by the last Thursday's protests of an ungrateful group of left-handers. Most of us left-handers did not protest, for we, as right-thinking citizens, believe that much progress is being made toward equal treatment for all left-handers. Are not left-handed hitters and pitchers among the best in professional baseball? And surely the recent appointment of left-handers to high government jobs proves to all that equality exists everywhere. Right? In addition, most right-handers have stopped saying that we left-handers will never reach the level of dexterity (which is to say, the level of rightness) that they have achieved (by birth). My people receive much encouragement from the fine work the right-handed government has done to help our pidgeon-toed brothers to learn to walk in the right way (of course, those that didn't . . . ); we know that with hard work, patience, and the kind help of right handers who are trying to teach us how to use our left hands just as though they were right, my people shall overcome our disadvantages and will eventually be able to live and work with you in the right way.
This will require some adjustments and unnatural positioning on the part of us left-handers, but it is either this or be left out.
Brent Reppert
Osawatomie
graduate student
- * *
To the editor:
Dear Fellow Left-Handers and Friends, God bless your sweet humor—we've needed it on the activist campus scene lately. Mankind expects this kind of brilliance from left-handers—surely a superior race?—a brilliance that will not be found lacking in the future.
I was particularly pleased that we found a creative conflict approach to let our black fellow students know how much we respect their cause and how much we intend to use our sinisterial powers to support equality of higher education for all. As a fellow minority group, we have suffered much also and we intend to further expose thru our humor-conflict strategy the stupidity of a right society which allows so much "silent violence" to oppress our brothers in the minority.
Onward with the left my convivial brothers! Let our leftist creativity ease the way to social
justice at our University and in our society.
Ronald T. Boland, L.H.
Assistant Professor
School of Social Welfare
★★
To the editor:
I was recently disgusted when the Black Student Union took it upon themselves to dump my copy of the UDK into the lake along with many others. It appears they have a group of children running their organization judging by their mentally defective attitudes and actions.
I was further nauseated by the Black Veterans on Campus request for $2,255 for office equipment, supplies, and a newspaper. Since I am the chairman for a group of veterans at KU it seems my request would be in order; one new Cadillac Fleetwood with taxes and service furnished, office space and a secretary furnished by the University of Kansas.
It would seem these people would benefit much more in many respects by using intelligent decisions rather than these methods of silly "demands."
Steve McComas Concordia junior
\*\*\*
To the editor;
Editorial writer Shearer exhibits a great eloquence and obvious talent for masquerading bullshit for truth. His article of last Friday, "It only whispers," did entertain me with the pleasant references to Fosdick and Huck Finn, but he drew conclusions that seem very odd—as well as wrong. I will admit that innumerable fanatics have used "Conscience" to sanctify their crimes just as they have used other noble ideas such as freedom, justice, equality, and peace to sanctify their wars, but what is there in the heart of man to direct him forward if not his conscience, "The conscience, then, is an idiot," writes Shearer. Of course! Yet even philosophers resort to this idiot to direct their own actions when the final analysis by logic has failed. If Shearer actually believed that "We should never do right until we learn what right is," then he would sweat a lot trying to justify many of his editorials, including this one.
"HEAP BIG FIRE STICK WARD OFF UNKNOWN EVIL SPIRITS."
Griff & the Unicorn
BY SOKOLOFF
$ \textcircled{C} $ David Sokoloff 1970
Below this article a letter appeared from an author who appeared to be of the same general inclination. Dr. Schroeder, like a typical head shrinker, suggested that we "control our fears and restrain our impulses for revenge against the people and institutions that make us angry." He was referring to the trouble over the Chicago conspiracy convictions. That we restrain impulses for revenge is sound advice, for no cause recks of such futility as revenge, but that we must lash out at the corruption and injustice we see all around us cannot be denied. Revenge? Nay—call it self-defense.
Charles Novo-Gradac
KC sophomore
✳ ✳ ✳
\* \* \*
To the editor:
I'm glad to see you disagree with our "Concerned Jay-hawker"; and yet am dismayed that you missed the letter's intent. This stems from not recognizing the style employed. It was a sardonic letter mocking an all too prevalent point of view—or a seemingly prevalent one as gauged by your having taken it so seriously. However, this mocking element, which was effectively destroyed through your paraphrase, had exaggerated this viewpoint so as to make it ludicrous and specious. In short, it's intent was to expose and discredit an inane viewpoint.
It seemed only appropriate that sarcasm should be used to make this viewpoint laughable. For if you argue against illogical and shallow cententions with a serious and logical attack you not only fail to discredit it but also assign merit.
Editorials and letters to the editors have been, all too often, too serious. And in being so conscientiously grave are dead to other more effective ploys.
If you reread the "Concerned Jayhawker" letter I believe that you will find the above interpretation of its intent true. Similarly, the below remarks will hopefully illuminate you on the intent of the pseudonym. Its purpose was multifarious:
1) To represent a general, stereotype viewpoint (i.e. a "Concerned Jayhawker")—not the author's opinions.
2) To make ludicrous the "Concerned Jayhawk's" castigation of Mr. Beckwith. While condemning Mr. Beckwith for not having his name printed as editor of the Harambe, even though commonly known, he nevertheless doesn't disclose his own identity.
3) To indicate that the letter was, in fact, a sardonic letter much in the way Mark Twain wrote under pseudonyms (i.e. Ty Slocum, Quintus Curtis Snodgrass, etc.) for such purposes.
4) Thus, ironically the "Concerned Jayhawk" is concerned
my wyhwer is concerned.
Hence, my only fault="nutty-
ness" as you would have it—
would be in my not having ex-
aggerated enough that which is
already ludicrous.
Michael Sanner
Michael Sanner Manhattan sophomore
★★
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Okay, here's your first letter. Sorry, but it sounds a little less than Mark Twain to me. We still don't run letters with paedonymes—MS)
★★
To the editor:
As one of those students who knows that the university is an institution for higher learning I become dismayed by those who would steal UDKs (and even print their own papers as if a thing would actually be sanctioned by the university seems incredulous to me). All this activity only disrupts the orderly process of education. If this freedom: to be educated is to be preserved, then certainly another freedom must be preserved: the freedom of speech. And if this right is to be preserved it seems apparent that those papers that advocate violence, "free love," and other such wrong notions must be abolished. If we don't stop these papers (i.e. Harambee and that hippie paper Cotex) then it becomes obvious that free speech as we know it now will not be around.
In this regard I agree with our Kansan (as well as American) Senator Shultz that Prof. Velvel should be not only disbarred but also debarred. As for Beckwith—who does he think he is being "common knowledge" (UDK, March 3)—this rings of communism to me. Besides, in a free country one would proudly put one's name to what one publishes; but our Mr. Beckwith won't claim the Harambee as his paper—need you more proof that he's hiding something? Finally, it seems conclusive that he is communist inspired by what he said in the UDK, March 3: "more than happy." But getting back to their freedoms, it seems apparent that these violence advocates must be given a little of their own medicine. Otherwise, if we don't nip this thing (dare I say conspiracy?) in the bud they may actually become violent.
Not to end on such an unpleasant note, I think it only appropriate that we think of our proud "Jayhawker" heritage, and particularly by supporting our basketball boys against the K-State Wildcats.
Sincerely your.
A Concerned Jayhawker (i.e. Michael Sanner)
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