NOTICE
LOVE AT FIRST SEX
CAN REWARDING RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOP OUT OF CASUAL SEX?
MEGAN RUPP
Keep it casual: Although having a hook-up buddy can be convenient, be careful what you wish for. If you're looking for a long-term relationship, casual sex may not be the way to go. Relationship quality increases when partners delay sexual satisfaction.
Photo illustration | Howard Ting
When Austen Hensley and his ex-girlfriend started spending time together, they had no intention of entering a monogamous relationship. "Neither of us were looking for anything serious," says Hensley, Wichita junior. "The more we talked and hung out, the more we just kind of fell into it."
Hensley says they had been "hooking up" for about a month before they decided to make it official. Though the relationship lasted three and a half years, Hensley is still skeptical about the quality of long-term relationships that develop out of casual sex or "friends with benefits."
"They could work if the two people truly cared enough about each other," Hensley says. "But in my experience, when you actually get to know the person beforehand, it works a little better."
Hensley may be right. In a study released in the Social Science Research journals, researchers surveyed 642 heterosexual adults to measure the quality of their serious relationships.
Anthony Paik, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, who headed the study, says it suggests that relationships are more rewarding for people who delay sex. But, it's not just because the couples decided to wait.
"The quality of relationships might deal directly with who is in those relationships, rather than the manner in which they were initiated," Paik says. "Some hook-ups do lead to a long-lasting relationship, but most of them don't because people are either not looking for that or are predisposed to low relationship qualities."
Paik says people who are prone to finding relationships unrewarding tend to seek out purely casual hookups. But, people interested in establishing relationships are just as happy about "hooking up" as those who enter serious relationships traditionally. He says you're more likely to find a good match by delaying sexual involvement, simply because you share similar long-term expectations.
"When people don't delay sexual involvement,
there's a good chance that one or both partners will leave or end the relationship very quickly because a long-term commitment is generally not what they're looking for." Paik says.
Paik says the study suggests that because expectations are so low, casual dating may not be the best way to develop a long-term relationship. He says being casual doesn't give people looking for true love the opportunity to screen out non-romantic people with different goals.
But monogamy isn't for everyone. Omri Gillath, an assistant professor of social psychology, says the concepts of "friends with benefits," staying single for life and having nontraditional families are less stigmatized today than in the past, allowing people to feel more secure about about things like having casual sex. Though casual sex has become a trend, he says people's opportunity for monogamy has more to do with their own expectations than their sex practices.
"If you're having sex just for the heck of it, monogamy might not be something you're interested in," Gillath says. "But if you're having sex because you're in love or falling in love, exclusivity can still be a possibility in a casual sex situation."
Gillath says sexual strategies depend on the short-term or long-term goals that you have in mind. He says that as people begin to invest more time in their careers, they think less about committing to relationships. "Friends with benefits," then, becomes a convenient way to establish casual relationships.
This "friends with benefits" approach worked for Libbey Barry, St. Louis senior, who began her relationship with no serious intentions. She and her boyfriend met shortly after they had each ended long-term relationships, but have now been dating for more than a year.
"I had just broken up with my boyfriend and he had just broken up with his girlfriend, so we both just wanted to hang out and keep each other company because we were kind of lonely," Barry says. "It was definitely nothing
serious, we would just hang out a couple nights a week."
Barry says the two had known each other before their break-ups, but developed a "friends with benefits" relationship shortly after. She says what started as a fun, casual hook-up turned into an official relationship after only two months of seeing each other. As they grew closer, the two started talking about how their initial expectations had changed and realized
Communicating with your partner about your relationship expectations is key to making something more out of casual sex. For two people not looking for a serious relationship, casual sex may be the way to go. Otherwise, delaying sex and getting to know someone may be a better option. That way, you know you both have similar long-term expectations. Jp
they both wanted the relationship to move in a new direction.
The seventh and final installment of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows preformed this morning at 12 a.m. at the Hollywood Theaters — South Wind 12 on Iowa Street. Many Potter fans showed their support by dressing up as their favorite wizard or witch.
ADMINISTRATION
Regents assess University's proposals
BY ANGELIQUE
MCNAUGHTON
amcnaughton.kansan.com
The Kansas Board of Regents met Thursday in Topeka with higher education officials from state universities.
Much of the meeting was devoted to discussing issues pertaining to the University of Kansas and Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little addressed Regents on four separate occasions.
The following is a list of some of the issues and proposals that Regents reviewed and their effects on students and the University.
Approved:
T h e
University's
request for
Diana Robertson, director of student housing, said she based her proposals off estimated increases for the following year.
The University's increases were
This year's increase proposals are lower than they were last year because of the deactivation of student phone lines in student rooms from the summer. That saved the University about $500,000.
two-person room raising the rate
from $3,642 to $3,700.
a Master of Arts and doctorate program in Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies was approved. Refer to Stephen Montemayor's article for more information regarding the program.
"If you can't track where a dollar comes from and where it goes, then you don't have a good system."
Regents reviewed the Department of Student Housing's proposal for a 1.6 percent increase in housing fees. The increase in fees is not uncommon and occurs annually to offset the increases in the cost of living.
GARY SHERRER chairman, Board of Regents
A 1.6 percent increase translates to about $58 more for a traditional
Reviewed:
the lowest proposed from the state universities
Regents received the University's report on the Jayhawk Generations Scholarship Program and
approved the request to make the pilot program permanent. For more information regarding the tuition and fee waiver program refer to Stephen Gray's article.
Approved:
Gray-Little and Provest Jeffrey Vitter updated Regents on the external audit recently ordered for the School of Business. The accounting firm BKD LLC performed the audit and stated in its report that of the $30 million raised since 2004 from course fees, 99.8 percent of the funds were spent appropriately.
Updated:
Although Regents acknowledged that many of the financial issues occurred before Gray-Little and Vitter, Regent Chairman Gary Sherrer and Regent Tim Emert were dissatisfied with, of all schools, a business school's mishandling of student funds.
"If you can't track where a dollar comes from and where it goes, then you don't have a good system," Sherrer said.
Vitter and Gray-Little said they now know funds were not accounted for and that the student advisory board should not have been dissolved back in 2006. Both Gray-Little and Vitter said they are looking to move forward.
The search is currently underway for a new dean for the school and the fourth candidate to visit campus was here this week.
A
Sherret said that kind of miscommunication sends a bad message to students.
Gray-Little said she has been working with Jeff Severim, director for the Center for Sustainability, and student leaders to further develop strategies to reduce waste on campus and within the community.
New scholarship program approved
Students with family ties to KU can apply for tuition discounts now that the program is in place.
This year, the University's website for energy-related issues was updated to highlight sustainable efforts in education, research, operations and campus life.
In January, the University will join Kansas State University in a sustain- ability competition that will last until June.
The University has more than 230 sustainability related-courses and various avenues are taken on campus to increase the University's efforts.
Along with other state universities, Gray-Little presented to Regents the University's annual sustainability report.
Reported:
Edited by Alex Tretbar
Department adds doctoral program
The University now offers a Ph.D. in women, gender and sexuality studies.
READ MORE ON 3A
meant to help inform students
The website cost $3,500 to redesign and took 10 weeks. Michael Wade Smith commissioned the task force that put the website together. Senate hopes to allow students to more easily see what it is doing around campus.
Brian Bishop, senior discus thrower, is one of a long line of KU track and field athletes.
INSIDE
Discus legacy is all in the family
Also, a preview of the game State Cowboys.
Jayhawks take on the Oklahoma
INDEX
Classifieds...2B
Crossword...4A
Cryptoquips...4A
Opinion...5A
Sports...1B
Sudoku...4A
WEATHER
TODAY
59 34
SATURDAY
6044
Partly Cloudy
SUNDAY
71 45
Partly Cloudy
2017
All contents, unless stated otherwise; © 2010 The University Daily Kansan