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FEATURE
having access to an avenue of variety and experimentation in the bedroom."
Studies have repeatedly found that couples who experiment with sexual variety are much happier than those who don't. Sexual relationships tend to become routine over time, but Anderson says this is the easiest way to prevent that from happening.
Key to discussing experimentation, Anderson says, is communicating your desire for the fetish to remain private. He says people are often afraid their partner might share the information with someone else, but discussing your desire for privacy will help ensure that the trust will not be broken.
Examining the reasons why people tend not to talk about fetishes and fantasies is a focus of Anderson's work. Though he has yet to reach a conclusion, he speculates people either feel their sexual desire will be viewed as deviant or they're afraid their partner will be unwilling to try out their fetish.
"Chances are, if you're a female in a relationship with a guy and you're scared to tell him what your fetish is, you shouldn't be," Anderson says, "Because it's probably not nearly as raunchy as what the guy has in his mind about what he wants to do sexually."
Anderson says when approaching your partner, you should be careful not to make him or her feel inadequate. He says letting your partner know that "you please me in the sexual arena, but you know what would really please
me? You'd be all ears."
READY FOR THE NEXT STEP?
But how do you know if you're ready to "go there" yet? Depending on the fetish, it can be easy. For Elizabeth, a graduate student from lola, getting what she wants sexually is as simple as pulling a guy towards a wall.
"I really like doing it up against the wall," Elizabeth says. "Most guys will just go for it. They're so distracted anyway, they don't really care."
Just making out up against the wall turns Elizabeth on and most guys don't fight it. Though her fetish isn't socially stigmatized, she says she'd be willing to initiate anything she wants because she assumes that guys are willing to try almost anything a girl can think of.
Elizabeth says she would prefer to have sex up against the wall regularly, but if her partner didn't feel the same way, she'd be willing to compromise. "I'd say 'Hey, every once in awhile let's do it my way and then every once in awhile let's do it your way,'" Elizabeth says. Though Elizabeth may be willing to meet her partner halfway, not all people are able to do so.
When Dylan, a senior from Overland Park, let his girlfriend shave his butt before she gave him a rim job, he knew it wasn't something he'd do again. The couple showers together every night and he says "she shaves my bum every now and then," but on his 22nd birthday, she
decided to also shave between his cheeks and give him a rim job for the first time.
"It was kind of relaxing because we were in the shower, but at the same time I wasn't anticipating it," Dylan says. "I liked it, but I didn't love it."
He's not sure why she wanted to give him a rim job and he says he doesn't want to know. It was something he was willing to try, but didn't find sexually pleasurable enough to do again. He says he has allowed his girlfriend to continue shaving his butt because he knows she prefers him to be clean-shaven.
Experts say couples like Dylan and his girlfriend who experiment openly are likely to benefit from trying. The same experts say that disclosing the truth about your fetish can be
more difficult depending on the degree to which the practice is associated with deviance.
Before his current relationship, Mark, from Orlando, participated in what is socially regarded as more extreme forms of sexual exploration. While he was single this summer, he visited Club Erotica KC in Kansas City three times. Visiting a swinger's club had always been on his bucket list, so he decided to take a chance.
He says the first time he visited, he delivered oral sex to a woman while her husband watched. Mark says giving oral sex is his favorite sexual act. The woman wanted to return the favor, but Mark says he was too uncomfortable to go through with it. Though
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Howard Ting/KANSAN
The seventh and final installment of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiered this morning at 12 a.m. at the Hollywood Theaters — South Wind 12 on Iowa Street.
Many Potter fans support their support by dressing up as their favorite wizard or witch.
ADMINISTRATION
Regents assess University's proposals
BY ANGELIQUE MCNAUGHTON
amcnaughtonkansan.com
The Kansas Board of Regents met Thursday in Topeka with higher education officials from state universities.
Much of the meeting was devoted to discussing issues pertaining to the University of Kansas and Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little addressed Regents on four separate occasions.
The following is a list of some of the issues and proposals that Regents reviewed and their effects on students and the University.
T h e
University's
request
for
Approved:
The University's increases were
"If you can't track where a dollar comes from and where it goes, then you don't have a good system."
Diana Robertson, director of student housing, said she based her proposals off estimated increases for the following year.
a Master of Arts and doctorate program in Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies was approved. Refer to Stephen Montemayor's article for more information regarding the program.
This year's increase proposals are lower than they were last year because of the deactivation of student phone lines in student rooms from the summer. That saved the University about $500,000.
two-person room raising the rate from $3,642 to $3,700.
GARY SHERRER chairman, Board of Regents
Regents reviewed the Department of Student Housing's proposal for a 1.6 percent increase in housing fees. The increase in fees is not uncommon and occurs annually to offset the increases in the cost of living.
Reviewed:
A 1.6 percent increase translates to about $58 more for a traditional
Regents received the University's report on the Jayhawk Generations Scholarship Program and
the lowest proposed from the state universities.
approved the request to make the pilot program permanent. For more information regarding the tuition and fee waiver program refer to Stephen Gray's article.
Approved:
Gray-Little and Provost Jeffrey Vitter updated Regents on the external audit recently ordered for the School of Business. The accounting firm BKD LLC performed the audit and stated in its report that of the $30 million raised since 2004 from course fees, 99.8 percent of the funds were spent appropriately.
Updated:
Although Regents acknowl
edged that many of the financial issues occurred before Gray-Little and Vitter, Regent Chairman Gary Sherrer and Regent Tim Emert were dissatisfied with, of all schools, a business school's mishandling of student funds.
"If you can't track where a dollar comes from and where it goes, then you don't have a good system," Sherrer said.
Vitter and Gray-Little said they now know funds weren't accounted for and that the student advisory board should not have been dissolved back in 2006. Both Gray-Little and Vitter said they are looking to move forward.
The search is currently underway for a new dean for the school and the fourth candidate to visit campus was here this week.
Sherrer said that kind of miscommunication sends a bad message to students.
Gray-Little said she has been working with Jeff Severin, director for the Center for Sustainability, and student leaders to further develop strategies to reduce waste on campus and within the community.
In January, the University will join Kansas State University in a sustainability competition that will last until June.
This year, the University's website for energy-related issues was updated to highlight sustainable efforts in education, research, operations and campus life.
The University has more than 230 sustainability related-courses and various avenues are taken on campus to increase the University's efforts.
- Edited by Alex Tretbar
Along with other state universities, Gray-Little presented to Regents the University's annual sustainability report.
New scholarship program approved
Reported:
Students with family ties to KU can apply for tuition discounts now that the program is in place.
Department adds doctoral program
READ MORE ON 3A
The University now offers a Ph.D. in women, gender and sexuality studies.
meant to help inform students
The website cost $3,500 to redesign and took 10 weeks. Michael Wade Smith commissioned the task force that put the website together. Senate hopes to allow students to more easily see what it is doing around campus.
Discus legacy is all in the family
INSIDE
Brian Bishop, senior discus thrower, is one of a long line of KU track and field athletes.
Jayhawks take on the Oklahoma
INDEX
Classifieds...2B
Crossword...4A
Cryptoquips...4A
Opinion...5A
Sports...1B
Sudoku...4A
WEATHER
Sunny
SATURDAY
Partly Cloudy
24