2 / SEX ON THE HILL / THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010 / THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN / KANSAN.COM
Long-distance relationships require certain skills
Romances across great distances demand more
Students whose significant others live far away face different struggles than those dating someone close to home. Many use Skype, phone calls, text messages and e-mail to keep in touch despite the distance.
BY HANNAH WISE editor@kansan.com
Skype, Phone calls, Texts, e mails. Trust. These are the tools necessary for a good relationship, but they are more important for one that stretches two people across state lines and sometimes overseas.
Emily Bernard, a freshman from Aurora. Colo., started dating her boyfriend, Sean Nicely, a year ago. They met in their high school theater department.
"We were together all the time, studying and hanging out," Bernard said. While Bernard moved here at the beginning of the summer, her boyfriend is still in high school. However, they have still been able to go on "Skype dates." They usually start their "date" at 5 p.m., eat dinner, watch a movie and stay up talking the rest of the night.
Bernard and Nicely are making their long-distance relationship work through communication, but some relationships are not so successful. Brandon Hopkins, a sophomore from Kansas City, Kan., did not have such a sweet long-distance relationship.
"We will both dress up like a date" she said.
In the end, they broke up because of the distance.
"It lasted three weeks as a long-distance relationship, but we had been dating for four or five months before that," Hopkins said.
where she was living at the time.
"It was because we were not able to trust each other and there was no way to really know what the other person was doing," he said.
Jessica Bjorgaard, a junior from Olathe, said her relationship ended because her boyfriend moved to
"When we lived long distance we had gotten used to us being away but when he moved to be with me we just saw each other too much and realized we didn't like each other as much as we thought." Bjorgaard said.
Some long-distance relationships can work and can last for
years like Seth Dolan's, a senior from Atlanta. He and his girlfriend Caroline Quat, also from Atlanta, have been together for three-and-a half years.
"We went to high school together. It's kind of dorky, but we were both members of Model UN," said Dolan.
Quat is a junior at George
Washington University in Washington, D.C., but is abroad in Prague. Dolan said their relationship has been able to last because of their commitment to communication.
"While she was in the states we would set aside a time at night where we would talk on the phone," he said. "It has been a little tricky
with her overseas, but thanks to Skype I am able to see her almost every day. We have also made sure that we frequently check our e-mail."
Long-distance relationships put a strain on both people involved, but some students make them work
"You have to trust the other person completely and communicate
with each other effectively," Dolan said. "Caroline is my best friend and I can't imagine not having her in my life. While I don't get to see her everyday, I'm sure that she is the right person for me and talking to her is always the high point of my day."
Edited by Lisa Curran
Online dating offers new arena even for college-aged romantics
BY MOLLY A. MARTIN
editor@kansan.com
Overall online dating service usage has increased in recent years, but is this the case for college-age students? According to the Nielsen Company, dating site popularity has grown from 24.2 million monthly users in January 2006 to 30 million in January 2010. Twenty-nine percent of users on Match.com are under the age of 30, according to Match.com's media room statistics.
For Patrick Shields, a sophomore from Shawnee, free online dating services such as OkCupid. com serve as a way to meet people he would not otherwise meet. Shields signed up for OkCupid at least two years ago, and said he has been using the site off and on.
"I used OkCupid to sort of extend my range." Shields said. "I've been an earlier adopter of a
lot of different technologies and for me online dating is just another way to increase my odds."
Created by the founders of both SparkNotes and TheSpark, OkCupid markets its services to users by offering the matchmaking site for free. Other online dating services such as Match.com and Yahoo! Personal charge for their services.
"It is a nearly impossible market to crack without marketing, which costs
many more resources," OkCupid. com said in explanation of the lack of other free matching services.
For Shields, OkCupid's matchmaking technology and site design are what drew him. The site uses personality analysis and question
I think it is an unnatural way to meet people, but I am giving it a shot and hoping that it will prove me wrong ... "
money. That's our best guess. Also most matching services use poor, expensive technology, or crappy languages like Java, requiring
MIRANDA HALEY
Senior from Topeka
answering questions about yourself and what your ideal partner would think it actually sort of uses technology to present you with
naires, which allows users to answer individual questions about themselves and how their ideal partner would respond, to find potential matches.
"What I like about OkCupid is it free and they have a really nice interface. By
people who you would be most compatible with, which is technology unheard of in any other site by now," Shields said.
"I have always been against online dating. I think it is an unnatural way to meet people, but I am giving it a shot and hoping that it will prove me wrong and that I will meet someone great off of it. If it doesn't work out then I can tell my friends to back off," Haley said.
Along with privacy concerns that stem from online communications, there are both advantages and disadvantages to going online instead of meeting people in a more traditional manner. For Miranda Haley, a senior from Topeka, online dating was something she previously had been opposed to and just recently decided to try.
For Shields, the advantage comes from the ability to monitor a prospect's profile and matches.
"Even though I love the idea of it, I don't know if it has reached the critical mass where I can really meet people who I really want to be with," Shields said.
— Edited by Michael Bednar
"When you talk to someone in person, you don't know anything about them until they tell it to you but when you are looking at profiles online you can screen out people who you are not compatible with, without wasting their time," Shields said. "There is an element of someone that can't be contained in an online profile. You can't know for certain if you are compatible with someone until you meet them."
Although one of Shield's friends met her current boyfriend of three years on OkCupid, Shields expressed some doubt about his use of online dating.
TOP 5
FREE ONLINE
DATING SITES
1. Plentyoffish.com
2. OkCupid.com
3. mingle2.com
4. engage.com
5. yesnomayb.com
-about.com
---