10 / SEX ON THE HILL / THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010 / THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN / KANSAN.COM
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RELATIONSHIPS
Dating can get dicey in the workplace
Students who have been in relationships with coworkers recommend setting boundaries between work and play. Otherwise, things can quickly get awkward for fellow employees.
BY JESSIE
BLAKEBOROUGH
alex.jessie.borough.com
editor@kansan.com
The rush alone is almost worth the risk. Knowing it's against the rules, but not caring. Stealing time for kisses in the supply closet. Bumping into each other on purpose — but only the two of you know that.
Hooking up with or dating friends and coworkers can be thrilling, but what happens when things go wrong? Is it possible to balance a romantic fling and maintain a civil work environment? Six KU students offer their stories and advice on this matter, in a quest to answer the age-old question, 'Can you mix business and pleasure?'
Jessica Janasz/KANSAN
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
For Jon Mura, a freshman from Grandview, Mo., hooking
it was cracked up to be. What started out as a mutual, no-strings attached agreement between friends turned into an awkward situation when she suddenly became very attached.
"If you are
HORIZON
HAPPINESS IS ON THE
"Hooking up can turn your circle of friends into an awkward tangle and leaves you asking 'How can I untangle the knot?'
"When my current boyfriend and I started dating, the most common comment we got was, 'Someone owes me ten bucks.' It was like everyone saw it coming and they have been very supportive of us." Harkrider said.
Harkrider said she believed in taking time to get to know a partner, not just rushing into something. She said her relationship was the result of a year-long friendship that blossomed into something more.
Donna Jo Harkrider, a junior from Tulsa, Okla., has not run into any difficulties with dating a coworker. As resident assistants in the dorms, students who date coworkers worry about literally living with the consequences of a broken relationship.
friends with someone and would like to take it to a sexual level, don't. Mura said. "If you want to take it to a romantic level, don't start with sex."
For Harkrider, the key lies in remaining individual people while at work. She said she avoided creat-
a clique-like
atmosphere.
Mura suggested building up friendships based on common interests before taking it to a physical level. He said otherwise relations would become strained.
"Hooking up can turn your circle of friends into an awkward tangle and leaves you asking 'How can I untangle the knot?' when the real answer is you should never have tied the knot in the first place," Mura said.
JON MURA
Grandview, Mo., freshman
"When you work where you live things get tricky. As a staff we can't be our own unit, we have to contribute as individuals," Harkrider said. "You don't want
relationship to bleed into the work environment."
THE VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE
Abbie Kendall, a freshman from Dallas, witnessed first-hand how personal relationships can affect an entire work unit. When her fellow employee became involved
The little tiffs couples go through can cause strained relations at work. A common complaint against hooking up or dating a fellow employee is the awkward situation that results for other staff members.
with a manager, the whole staff suffered the consequences of their indiscretion.
"Human resources had to come in and interview everyone at the store and our manager ended up getting fired for hooking up with an employee," Kendall said. "The whole thing was really uncomfortable."
John McKernen, a sophomore from Leawood, on the other hand, said he didn't believe his relationship bothered his fellow co-workers. In fact, he thought it had the opposite effect.
"It seemed like everyone was excited to have something to go on."
sip about," McKernen said.
TALKING TOGETHER
ADVICE FROM A REAL,
LIVE COUPLE
Four months into their relationship, Pat Bayer, a junior from Overland Park, and Emily Bissell, a sophomore from McPherson, are now in a comfortable rhythm.
Innings weren't always so easy, however. When they first met last year, Bayer was a resident assistant and Bissell a resident in Hashinger Hall. University Housing has strict policies against RAs dating residents.
"I knew I couldn't let it go, so I
talked to my boss," Bayer said.
Even after the OK from superiors and support from friends and coworkers, Bayer and Bissell didn't rush into anything.
"We took it really slow so it removed the chance of drama if it wasn't going to work." Bissell said.
Bayer also suggested setting clear boundaries about what was about work and keeping the relationship out of it. If he has to do something for his job, he said, she understands it's not personal. He says an understanding and respect for each person's positions and feelings keeps things running smoothly.
"It takes a level of maturity to know how to handle situations like this because ultimately if it ends, it has to end well," Bayer said.
In the end, students in this situation have some common advice. They recommend taking the time to consider how the relationship will affect themselves and their co-workers. Don't let personal feelings — loving or bickering — override your ability to maintain a professional work environment, they say.
LESSONS LEARNED
Edited by Dana Meredith