/ SEX ON THE HILL / THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010 / THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN / KANSAN.COM
TFIC
CASUAL ENCOUNTERS
Hooking up common, but not for everyone
A recent study suggests casual encounters lower women's self-esteem and raise men's, but some students and experts disagree
editor@kansan.com
BY DANIELLE VALLIERE
To hook up or not to hook up, that is the question.
This question is an old one, but certainly not obsolete. Hook-ups on college campuses appear to be the norm, with up to 81 percent of college students reporting having engaged in at least one, according to a study published in Archives of Sexual Health.
The study investigated the effects that casual sex has on women and men. It suggested that casual sex in women led to lower self-esteem and higher distress. Conversely, casual sex among men was linked to higher self-esteem.
"I think girls go into it hoping the guy calls or texts them the next day even though they're cool
sleeping with them the night they meet." Allie Miller, a sophomore from Frisco, Texas said. "Guys are just thinking about the one night. Rejection causes women distress because they book up to feel accepted. It's fun, but girls want someone to like them and be interested in them. When the guy's done and he's not interested, girls get upset."
Dhyana Coil is chairwoman of the Sexuality Education Committee, a student organization that promotes healthy sexuality education. She said she did not agree with the study's findings.
Coil said she did not believe men and women necessarily had different emotional reactions to sexual hook-ups.
mgs.
"My hunch is to say that if women have lower self-esteem to begin with, then they may tend to deal with that by seeking validation with many sexual partners," Coil said.
sexual hook-ups. "I have female friends who are very happy to have multiple sexual partners and I have male friends who are self-described as too emotional to be able to enjoy one night stands," she said. "I don't think men and women are as different as our history and culture would have us think and people's differing reactions are just more based on the individual."
And, frequently, the stresses of college make individuals seek less-stressful releases.
"School's hard enough as it is." Miller said. "Relationships aren't easy. Hook ups are simple, quick, fun and not a lot of work."
In the past, a double standard
was present in society's perceptions of men and women in relation to number of sexual partners
As a woman acquired a certain number of partners, she was labeled, but a man could usually get away with promiscuity.
"This definitely still
"Girls definitely would try
"I do think it is possible to emotionally distance oneself to avoid being hurt."
my still exists," Miller said. "If a guy hears a girl has been with a ton of guys, he won't even touch her. Being called 'slutty' or a 'whore' really messes with girls mentally and psychologically, while guys become the coolest dudes."
DHYANA COIL Sexuality Education Committee
Miller said she thought women were likely to hook up with the
same man to keep their number of sexual partners down.
nely would try their hardest to get the same guys to sleep with them more than once," she said. "We're not like guys and don't look for meaningless sex. just because I want to have sex doesn't mean I
want to sleep with every guy."
Some of the consequences of engaging in casual sex and sexual hook-ups include risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection, in addition to emotional damage.
"I don't want to get to the point where I can't remember the
name and face and exact number of guys I've slept with," Miller said. "Hooking up is perfectly fine if you're having fun, but be smart. Don't make it into risking STDs and pregnancies. If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to be smart about it, too."
10. Coil said ultimately, when it came to casual sex, knowing yourself made all the difference.
"I do think it is possible to emotionally distance oneself to avoid being hurt," Coil said. "I don't think that it is possible for all people. Some people start to get emotionally attached after a certain amount of time together no matter their initial intentions."
COMMENTARY
Edited by Emily McCoy
Let's take the shame and 'slut' out of sex
Sex is not just for sluts. It's a radical statement surely, but someone has to say it. Despite what we see in movies and read about in books, sex is still regarded as something dirty and shameful. Everyone is always talking about how skanky "insert name of your friend here" was at Friday's party or what a man-whore your biology lab partner is, basically scaring each other into thinking that sex is something for the skanks and douchey guys of the world. No one wants to be a "slut," therefore people don't address sex for the basic human need that it is.
Sex is a primal instinct. It is encoded into our biological system. Everyone in the world does it, will do it or at the very
BY JESSIE BLAKEBOROUGH
edit@kanyan.com
least is the product of it. While it is not everything, sex is an integral part of life. So why do we feel the need to label it as something bad?
big bar.
Sex shouldn't be shameful and it shouldn't be "slutty." In fact, I hereby revoke the use of that word. Wanting to have, or having sex does not make someone a slut. It makes you human. As long as you practice sex in a safe and healthy way, I say go forth and buy condoms!
d o e s society c o n d e m n t h o s e that act on it? There is no need to judge e a c h other for
We all think about it, so why
our sexual appetites. To repress something so natural causes internal conflict and frustration.
Just be honest with yourself. You can want sex just for the sake of having sex. There is no need to dress the issue up with a bow or a relationship. You don't have to fake a deeper meaning for it. As long as both people involved
know what they are getting out of the interaction, I see nothing wrong with it. Sure, feelings are involved with sex but they don't necessarily have to be feelings of love. Sex can work just fine on mutual feelings of attraction and the basic need itself.
Now, I'm not advocating for people to go out and sleep with a new person every night — although if that is your prerogative and you are being safe about it, then you are adult enough to make your own decisions. It is important to retain a level of self-respect. Only do what you want, and what makes you happy.
This is the 21st century times have changed. No one
expects sex to wait until marriage. It is better to discover who you are and what you want before making a promise you aren't sure you can keep. Sex does not have to be the big taboo subject that our grade school teachers made it out to be. Let's stop the name-calling and grow up. We are all of age to make the right decision for ourselves. If all else fails, we can always stand to listen to the advice of our elders. As my good friend Marvin Gaye says, "You don't have to worry that it's wrong. If the spirit moves you, let me groove you good."
Edited by Alex Tretbar
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BY HANNAH WISE
What does'hooking up'mean to you?
SAMMI GOLDEN
Chicago freshman
"Anything from a kiss to anything after that."
AMYVAN
Wichita sophomore "It is being physically intimate with someone like kissing or making out."
JERRON ASHBY
Kansas City, Kan., freshman "It has to be sex. It just depends on who says it, like if an old person says it, it could mean something else."
ASHTON CAPPS Wichita freshman "More than making out."
GRANT BINGHAM Edmond, Okla., freshman "A short-term relationship."