Campus/Area
University Daily Kansan / Friday, March 10, 1989
3
Golden storybook features 'wayward professor'
Gujhana Nakashima/Special to the KANSAN
Joel J. Gold, professor of English and author of "The Wayward Professor," relaxes while grading papers in his Wescoe Hall office.
Kansan staff writer
by Steven Wolcott Kansan staff writer
The Wayward Professor is soon to be let loose in bookstores, which will be good news to readers who have been exploits for the past seven years.
Joel J. Gold, professor of English,
has collected 26 stories of his alter
ego, the wayward professor, into a
fictional book by the University
Press of Kentucky.
The collection represents the best of Gold's humorous essays on his experiences in the world of academia.
Gold writes the essays for the Chronicle of Higher Education, a weekly tabloid trade paper of academics.
"These are stories that I've been telling on myself for years." Gold said. "I got the idea for a book in 1984."
In the book's introduction, Gold reveals how he came up with the title.
"I did spend some time considering appropriate titles and had just about settled on The Wayward Professor of English. One afternoon, I tried it out on a couple of colleagues. They appeared puzzled.
"I. I didn't know you held an endowed chair," one of them said.
"No.' I answered. 'I am unendowed.'
A few shreds from 'The Wayward Professor'
"The knowing glance they exchanged convinced me that shorter titles are best."
Gold said he usually told people that the book was about 87 to 97 percent true.
Carol Estes, marketing assistant for University Press, said the press jumped at the chance when Gold gave it a crack at publishing the book.
"We loved the essays and thought they were wonderful," Estes said. "The book has cartoon drawings of the wayward professor that are hilarious."
The drawings are done by Vivian Hixson, a free-lance artist from East Lansing, Mich., who has been ill-illustrated by the Chronicle of Higher Education.
Although Hixson and Gold have never met, the drawings bear a close resemblance to Gold.
Gold said that when he was in London he went to a barber named Tony, showed him an illustration, and asked him if he (gold) looked
"He said no, but if he cut a little off here and a little off there . . . and pretty soon, life imitated art," Gold said.
The University Press will print
3,000 copies. The book will cost $14.95.
Estes said this was a medium-sized
press run for them.
"We expect to ship this all over the country and will have it in most college bookstores." she said.
"Toward the bottom of the large pseudo-wood door of my faculty office, there is a small hand-letter sign that reads: PAPER SHREDDER. An arrow points to the space under the door where students are always sliding things — like late papers or requests for letters of reference. My colleagues see the sign and make little jokes, but most of them don't really know the story of the Paper Shredder.
It began simply enough a few years back when I was informing a class about the deadline for a set of critical essays. Allowing myself to be jolled away from the usual deadline of class time Thursday, I told them that papers could be submitted by 5 P.M. Friday. But no later. At 5 o'clock I would leave and turn on the paper shredder so that anything shipped under the door after 5 would be automatically shredded. Now it should be obvious in these straitened times that no garden variety English professor is going to have a paper
This was it — it had to be. Whoever it was stopped outside my office. And panted for a few seconds. As the paper began to come in under the door, I was ready.'
shredder at his disposal. They all grinned back at me, and I figured we understood each other.
By 4:50 on Friday all but three essays had been turned in. In a few minutes I heard someone running down the hall, and a young man thrust his paper at me " plenty of time." I said. He looked almost disapproving. "Let's go to 4:57 the next-to-last paper arrived 'Am I the last one?' the young woman wanted to know. Again disappointment.
It was 5 o'clock, and there was still one paper out. It was possible
that it would not arrive, but the student was one of my conscientious overachievers. She was probably triple-checking her footnotes. I decided to wait. But there was all that talk about the paper shreder. I shut my door. I turned out my light. Then I pulled a chair up behind the closed door, gathered a couple of sheets of old diti paper in my hand, and sat down to wait. I suppose I could have spent the weekend lurking in that darkened office. Well, I hope I would have been smart enough to leave by Saturday after en.
— it had to be. Whoever it was stopped outside my office. And panted for a few seconds. As the door was shut in under the door, I was ready.
Anyway - and fortunately - at seven minutes past five I heard somebody running down the hallway toward my office. This was it
excerpted from The Paper Shredder in "The Wayward Professor."
Judge says suit invalid for zoning City officials acted fairly, court rules
by Carrie Harper Kansan staff writer
T
U. S. District Judge Dale E. Saffles dismissed a lawsuit filed by Cleveland developer Jacobs, Visconsi and Jacobs, and property owners Richard A. Armstrong, Baldwin, Betty J. Grisham, Shawney.
Lawrence city officials acted within their rights by redenying for a suburban mail in order to prevent a federal under ruled test.
'The city has a legitimate interest in supporting existing business and preserving the vitality of its downtown area.'
Dale E. Saffels U.S. District Judge
The suit was filed after the Lawrence City Commission refused to rezone a 61-acre site at the southeast corner of Iowa Street and Armstrong Road in order to protect property from an environmental trib. The site, in southwest Lawrence, is now zoned for single-family use.
"The city has a legitimate interest in supporting existing business and preserving the vitality of its downtown area," Saffels said in his decision, which was filed late Monday.
"Moreover, a city can rationally decide to control growth and land use in its boundaries. This segregation of land is the pure purpose of zoning ordinances."
Gerald Cooley, city attorney, said he thought the city had been right in its analysis of the law and the application of the facts in this case.
The lawsuit, filed in May 1988, said that the City Commission and the Lawrence-Douglas County Planning Commission had violated the plaintiffs' civil rights by depriving them of due process by not following procedure and pre-judging the rezoning request. Cooley said.
The suit also said the city did not provide equal protection under the law, took property without due compensation and committed antitrust violations.
The federal court dismissed all counts.
Neil Shortlidge, attorney for Jacobs, Visciori and Jacobs, said he had sent copies of the decision to his clients and was unsure whether they would appeal.
The Associated Press contributed information to this story.
State legislators to work on Margin, Washburn during break
Kansan staff writer
by John P. Milburn
While students begin a week's vacation, state legislators will continue studying matters concerning higher education.
Members of the Senate Ways and Means committee on Monday will discuss financing the second year of the Margin of Excellence grant, a Barnum University into the Board of Regents.
The Margin of Excellence is the Board of Regimen
Regents three-year plan to bring the total financing of its seven institutions to 95 percent of their peer schools and to bring faculty salaries to 100 percent of their peers.
Gov. Mike Hayden endorsed both plans as part of his Margin of Excellence Partnership Act, which includes financial assistance to community colleges and qualified admissions.
State Sen. August Bogina, R-Kansas City and chairman of the committee, said he did
not know how the committee stood on admitting Washburn. During hearings on the bill, several members expressed concern for all higher education measures if Washburn was not admitted to the system.
Denise Apt, Hayden's education adviser,
told the committee that she was not sure
what Hayden would do if Washburn was
denied entrance to the Regents. She was
asked repeatedly if Hayden would veto all
measures including the second year of the
Margin.
While testifying before the committee last Friday, Bob Burns, Washburn's president, said now was the best time to admit the school.
"We come to the state when Washburn is academically and fiscally strong." Burns
Burns was asked by State Sen. Wint Winter Jr., R-Lawrence, whether he would favor a measure that would admit Washburn to the
Regents only if the Margin program was completed.
Burns said he would but now was still the best time.
Winter has expressed opposition to Washburn's admission several times this session.
Earlier in the session, subcommittees of the Ways and Means Committee endorsed full financing of the second year of the Margin.
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A general meeting is scheduled on Friday 10th of March at 7 p.m. in the 109 room of Strong Hall
All members and interested KU students are welcome