Thursday, April 26.1979
3
Family deaths hard on students
By RHONDA HOLMAN Staff Reporter
"Daddy's had a heart attack."
When Ann Denton, Lawrence junior, heard her sister say those words in January after her father's death, the shock hit immediately.
Three months later, the emptiness of losing a parent often makes it hard to confront fear and loss.
"I threw the phone down. I didn't know what I was doing. It was like I was watching myself. I just kept saying 'no, no' and screaming." Denton said.
"It comes in sports," said "You get drained and think you're going to accept it and then it all comes back again. I always thought if the person seemed OR then they
But Gary E. Price, associate professor of counseling, said the most difficult time for a grieving student was quite awhile after the death had occurred. He said a young person who had lost a loved one often denied that he had survived and convinced himself that he was over it.
"THE GREATEST need is six to eight weeks after the loss," he said. "It makes it double difficult for college students because they are away. They don't have the supportive system around them here that they would have at home."
Price said the University counseling center worked with many students who had lost a parent or close relative—some long before they ever came to college.
The death of a loved one is inevitable during a lifetime. Price said, but grief often is a new experience that might be difficult for a young person to understand.
"Older persons have experience to help them grieve, but young people have to learn how," he said. "They don't have other losses to tie into to help them deal with it."
Denton's father, a veterinarian, had lived through a heart attack years before. He had felt fine the morning of the attack that killed him.
And Denton, who finally was found at a friend's house 70 miles away from her apartment, died peacefully on Tuesday.
mixed state of shock about the sudden loss and panic about the future.
"MY FRIEND DROVE me home," Denton said, "All the way, I kept telling myself that I had to be strong for my mom. When I got home I was ready in time and told her how much she meant to me."
Other students who have lost a parent agreed that their immediate concern was the loss of memory.
"You grow closer to the parent that's left. You know they are both there before, but you don't realize what they are until one of them dies. It's hard to tell someone when they're mad at their parent to imagine it would be like without them," she said.
"The hardest thing was seeing my dad alone," said Shaunah Maura, Overland Park junior, whose mother died of a slow cancer five years ago.
Price said that grieving students were saddled with the dual responsibility of readjusting to their campus lives and taking on the remaining parent at the same time.
"They're concerned with how they can help back home and there are often feelings of guilt about not being around enough," he said.
CHRIST ACKERMAN, Lockport, Ill., sophomore, few home last June when her father died of a sudden attack. She **suffered** from an attempt to quit school and stay with her mother
"For my mom's sake, I would have liked to have been there, but I just called her a lot," she said. "I know that she wouldn't have wanted me to stay. The third that gets him is that he must attend anation that she's in. She is in that big house and all three kids are going to be gone soon."
The students said that during the days following the death, they were encompassed by a pain and confusion that made it difficult to function normally.
Denton said, "People came and just started talking about everyday things. I would never have heard of them."
"There was nothing I could do because I
Pre-enrollment vote to face SenEx query
Staff Reporter
A motion was passed yesterday by the University Senate executive committee to ask the administration why a recruitment supporting pre-employment had been rejected.
Evelyn Swartz, SenEx chairman, told SenEx members that administrators said the pre-enrollment recommendation was appropriate and of widespread support and a lack of money.
By TONI WOOD
The recommendation, made in February by the University Council, called on the university to develop a plemening a pre-enrolment system at the University of Kansas. It also asked the administration to consider charging a registration fee to cover the cost of inpatient care.
SeenEx members voted to write to Del Shankel, executive vice chancellor, to ask him for justification of the administration's about lack of support for pre-enrolment.
DON MARQUES, SenEx member and associate professor of philosophy, said, "I am concerned when the University Council, which represents students and faculty, makes a recommendation regarding pre-enrollment—and the administration deals with pre-enrollment by saying there is no widespread support for it."
Swartz said she was concerned that the council's recommendation was asked for, given and decided on without responding to it. She had to ask for the administration's decision.
Hutton Barron, SenEx member and professor of business, indicated that he thought there was "widespread support" for pre-enrollment.
"The concept of pre-enrollment is not one that can be dropped," he said. "There has been enormous—and that's more extreme than 'widespread'—enormous dissatisfaction with the present enrollment procedures."
Mark Bernstein, graduate student representative, said he supported pre-employment, but not a computerized system. The training could be done within each department.
MARQUIS SAID he would be able to understand the administration's financial reasons for rejecting the pre-enrollment plan and money for the system were not available.
"But it looks like it won't cost a lot of money," he said. "The recommendation is to get the program started."
Mariquis said the easy way to handle the issue would be to ask students whether they know the definition of the term.
"The administration hasn't asked them, as far as I can tell," he said.
In other business, the SenEx reviewed guidelines for graduate student employment, which were drawn up two years ago by an administration task force.
The guidelines addressed policies for selecting, training, and evaluating graduate students.
Barbara Baume, secretary for the committee, told SenEx members that the document seemed unclear and vague on many points.
GERHARD ZUTHER, SenEx member and professor of English, said, "I can look through every item here and instantly link it up. We're already doing in our department."
Some SenEx members agreed, saying the guidelines seemed too generalized and not tailored to their needs.
A memorial service for William Doremus Paden, a k professor of English, will be held at 4:30 p.m. today in Swarthout Recital Hall in Murphy Hall. Paden, 75, died Monday in the KU Medical Center after a long illness.
Memorial services for professor today
SenEx members voted to table until next week, consideration of a packet of freedom of speech policies, which were initially approved for the University Events Committee.
"I WAS really scared. I didn't know if I was going to be able to listen in or not," she said. "The death was what I was thinking about constantly and I wondered if people knew. I didn't want people to pity me—I just wanted to talk about it."
While at KU, Paden was active in the Association of American University Press. He was also a professor of English. He said that Paden had been known on campus as "Mr. Hunter."
Paden taught at the University for 37 years. He was named professor emeritus of English upon his retirement in 1973. He taught a variety of English courses, including Shakespeare and beginning writing courses.
Paden also was a primary force in the
Denton said she was apprehensive about returning to classes a week after the death.
increased participation by faculty members in university affairs, especially in the late 20th century.
couldn't read or concentrate or anything. I could talk to the people for a while, but then I just wanted to scream. I didn't want to be alone in my room. I couldn't that yet."
Survivors include his wife and a daughter, Dagmar, both of the home, 838 Broadway; a son, William Jr. Evanston, III.; a sister, Michael; a cousin, Parkersburg, W.Va., and a grandchild.
William Albrecht, professor auretus of
William, and Paden's son, William $J_r$, will
pass away.
Price said the emotional stages that grieving students experience often were
"People experience a lot of stages of grief," he said. "They go back and forth between anger and depression. There is often denial—when the person acts like everything is all right. And then there is an acceptance."
Before coming to the University, Paden
in math and a PhLB in English from France.
Paden was born July 13, 1903, in Parkersburg, W. Va. He married Digman Patricia.
Students said that no matter how well adjusted they thought they were, there were always things that reminded them of the loss.
when I go home. At the end of the summer I went home for two weeks and the first week was fine. He had traveled a lot and I was used to him being gone. But the second week I suddenly realized that he wasn't coming back."
Denton said she still had not been able to take the bookmark out of a book that she and her father 'had been reading before his death. She also said she had dreams that he was alive and found herself easily upset when strangers asked about her parents.
The family prefers that contributions be made to the department of special collections.
"He was tremendously impressive as a personality," Zutter said. "He was a well-known campus figure who was probably here longer than any of us."
Price said that in counseling, he encouraged grieving students to let loose the pain by crying and talking about the loss. But he said getting over a death was a slow process that could not be finished in a matter of weeks or months.
Mahoney said, "I feel sorry for myself sometimes when everyone is talking about their mums. And the hardest times are Weekend in the house and Mother's Day."
"A person can go on after losing a loved one only by accepting the loss, incorporating it into themselves and becoming able to operate and be functional without devoting so much mental time to it," he said.
ACKERMAN SAID, "It hits me more
"She died five years ago but sometimes it feels like it just happened yesterday," Mahoney said. "The pain hits hard and it hits fast and it takes a good two to three years to really get over it. Even now, you feel that so depressed and nobody knows why."
Ackerman said, "I don't feel any reagent that he died. He was my dad and I loved him."
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