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Wednesday, April 25, 1979
University Daily Kansan
Money conflict checks dating bliss
This is the second in a series of three stories about dating relationships of college students. Today's story deals with how money can affect a relationship.
Tomorrow: Learning to cope with breaking up.
By LESLIE GUILD Staff Reporter
Whoever said money talks was right.
Although students say they try to keep money from becoming a central factor in their dating relationships, it can lead to conflicts.
Money, and what might be owed in return,
plays an important role in dating. Amy
has a job as a financial planner.
And when money becomes an issue,
students say, that signifies a desire for a
savings account.
"I it's a real contradiction in society," she said. "I'ts thought that a man must spend in style and a women must accept. Yet, society also saves a woman must stay pure."
Mortensen said she didn't let sex enter her relationships because of money spent.
"I FEEL BAD when a man pays a lot for our entertainment and that's why I offer to pay too," she said. "But money doesn't matter." The interns relationships at a commitment team.
Kathleen Draskovic, Lawrence senior,
said she had had dates in which sex had
been implied as an expected repayment for
money spent.
Draskowich said that, when she dated, and her date would usually split expenses.
"I knew he fell I爱ed him something" she said. but "I won't the case, Sex, with his wife."
“It’s a practical thing,” she said. “If I’m working and I have money, then I pay. If he has money he pays. That keeps things from getting too heavy.”
Mark Lanik, Lincoln, Neb, sophomore, said he spent money on dates without implying that his date owed something in return.
"It's sometimes thought about in passing, I guess. But sex is not really expected. Personally, if I spend a lot of money and have a wild time, I don't really have a lot of respect for the girl. I guess you could say you get what you pay for."
But Emily Coleman, co-author of "Brief Encounters," an analysis of heterosexual dating patterns, said the answer to the money issue was to discuss it.
"TALK ABOUT IT," she said. "The couple must talk about money. Once they get past the introduction stage and are committed to seeing each other again, they must discuss money and agree about who will pay and when."
Coleman said the decision of who would pay should be different for each couple.
"No set rules can apply to every couple," Coleman said. "Each couple is unique in that they have to come to an agreement of what will work for them."
Al Green, psychiatrist with the Meninger Foundation in Topeka, said the meetings of
a couple after the initial stage were hampered in problems with money. He said money repayments would not be a problem.
"UNFORTUNATELY, money and the problems it brings have been with us for thousands of years," Green said. "But the problem is really difficult because it realizes really livable everyone, is helping."
Green said women as well as men now could pay on a date.
"Men used to want to be Sir Galahad and pay endlessly," he said. "But now women
"Money is seen as a way to impress and be in control. Yet really, once an individual is comfortable with himself or herself, money doesn't have to be that way."
Students see money as an important factor, Wright said, but try to limit its impact.
"Most students' real concern is that they don't let money become a big deal until a stronger commitment than dating exists between themselves and their partners," he said. "That is why on a casual date no set rules are really applied to who pays. It is especially important for adults to develop and more formal dates are held, that a decision about money is made."
ALTHOUGH SOME students agree that the man should pay, others say that the man should pay.
Lanki said he always paid the way on his dates.
"I will accept if she offers," he said. "But if I ask her out I feel I should pay for the room."
The type of date sometimes is a deciding factor in determining who should pay.
The manager of Trader Vics Restaurant in Crown Center said that with most young adults now living in the city,
"About 99.9 percent of the time, the man pays," he said. "The only time a woman pays is usually when it is a business meal. And then she'll tell the waiter ahead of time."
KU student projects win awards at weekend engineering exposition
awards were presented to the top three KU student engineering exhibitions at the 59th annual School of Engineering expo last Friday and Saturday.
Students in the American Society of Mechanical Engineers won first place with their projects. The projects included an automated feeding device and a typing system. A student was given to students in the American Society of Petroleum Engineers and third
place went to students in the American Institute of Chemical Engineers.
David Kraft, dean of the School of Engineering, said yesterday the projects had been judged for student originality, and for the understanding, the completeness, and the presentation of the project. Ten groups had exhibitions at the expo.
The awards were presented to the groups at a banquet Saturday night.
Deborah Jordan, Raytown, Mo., senior and chemical engineering major, received a $100 prize as the outstanding student for the work she did on the chemical engineering projects. The money was given by alumni of the School of Engineering.
Also, students voted Harry Talley, professor of electrical engineering, as the outstanding faculty member. He received a Ph.D. in Engineering alumni, according to Kraft.
RISA SHAW, ticket seller at the SUA box office in the Kansas City area, said women who wear blue shirts are targeted.
However, on a casual date, women often will pay.
the check comes, so that no embarassment will occur."
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men paying for dates expected something in return.
"Most women in my classes feel that if a man expects sexual favors in return for the money spent, it his problem." Wright said. "If a woman does not expect larger amounts of money spent. But for the most part, students feel this is only expected if a strong commitment by both partners in the relationship exists."
"Women will pay here a lot more often than at a regular theater," she said. "I've worked at commercial theaters too, and I love showing movies. Women pay for the tickets more often."
Although she said she thought the college atmosphere had a lot to do with it, she said she didn't.
"Some women just wait for the guy to
shaw. 'Show' said. "But quite a lot of the tau
pole."
Coleman said the only answer to the relationship between money and sex was to
Wright also said a problem could arise if
"Some women would like to have men as just friends, and vice versa," she said. "So the role of sex has to be understood, and that is best accomplished through discussion and agreeing in just exactly what the relationship will be."
Seniors present $981 check for gift of Union fireplace
Reeves Wiedman, senior class president, presented a $811 check for a fireplace for the Satellite Union, this week. Reeves was the director of the Kansas Union, yesterday. Also accepting the check were Chancellor Rieke A. Dykes and William M. Bafoul president of the board of the University of Kansas Memorial Corporation.
University officials, faculty and members of the senior class committees were among 30 people who attended the presentation in the Watkins Room of the
Burge said the senior class could not have given a more practical gift for the Satellite Union.
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