8
Tuesday, April 24, 1979
University Daily Kansan
Fear of failure, environment hamper dating
By LESLIE GUILD
Staff Reporter
Editor's note: This is the first in a series of three stories about dating relationships of college students. Today's story concerns how students meet other students.
Another typical Friday night and you're at home popping corn and watching Johnny Carson on the tube. And last Friday night the only thing you could think of doing was to get the gang together and drive across town to see the triple-feature horror movies.
Whether it be from fear that a relationship will not be successful, or whether it is from a lack of a chance to establish a beginning to a relationship, young adults, including college students, are feeling a sense of social isolation.
This social isolation apparently is being felt by some students at the University of
Mark Lank, Lincoln, Neb., freshman,
hard pace in college was an extremely
hard pace in college.
"I in college most people are so idealistic," he said. "They're looking for someone who's just perfect and the judgments are harsh, even more tense." The first-meeting situation even more tense.
BUT COLLEGE students are not alone. In
a current book on the subject, "Brief Encounters," which analyzes heterosexual dating patterns, authors Emily Coleman and Betty Edwards say young adults should read, study, and share, including the first steps of meeting strangers, because few things in today's society seem
Coleman said this difficulty also was observed in the attitudes of college students. She said the students' difficulties in meeting strangers was caused by several factors.
to stay the same. The authors say people are afraid to become involved in relationships because a chance exists that the relationship will not last.
"A lack of right attitudes, not having the skills to communicate and the environment, that would make students strangers," Coleman said. "These are the areas that need change in our development."
COLLEMAN SAID those people not in a college atmosphere also inhibited students'
"A lot of people outside college don't understand the pressures of meeting strangers in college," she said. "They say it takes more time to get self,self, adds more pressure to the students."
As a result of these shortcomings, Coleman said, students limit themselves.
"They are afraid to take掌," she said. "So they either go steady with an old friend or go mad."
Erik Wright, professor of psychology at KU who has taught a class in human sexuality for 10 years, said students today are increasingly making contact with strangers.
"NO INITIAL means of making contact with strangers exists," he said. "The size of the University is an important factor in that."
Wright said that because of KU's size, most students made friends through
"Classes are a predominate way for the largeness of the University to be broken down," he said. "And sometimes, friends like him have another act as a bridge to narrow the gap."
Wright said he thought that was why many students looked for smaller groups to join, such as fraternities. He said activities like Rock Chalk Reve also met this need.
"It's a very uncomfortable thing to try to meet a stranger at the University," he said. "Even though all students have something to say, they are students, a closer tie is needed."
AIG. GREEN, a psychiatrist with the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, also said students looked for smaller group settings to meet people.
"There's a magic number somewhere between six and eight which makes most people comfortable enough that they can talk," he said. "If the number grows much larger, members of groups begin to shut themselves off."
"That's when the role of a living group, such as a dorm or something, becomes important," he said. "A commonness of this kind is important for the relationship to continge."
Green said that in a one-to-one relationship, most people usually searched for a specific job.
In his work as director of Student Services, Dick Johnson said he was finding that KU did not offer enough opportunities for students to meet on common grounds.
The Student Assistance Center, 121 Strong Ball, is collecting data through interviews with students.
"FROM MY experiences with students, it is obvious that students feel this campus is too large to meet people," he said. "It's somewhat a lack of initiative on the part of teachers, but KU's fault. We aren't offering, what it seems, students need in order to meet each other."
"It's my guess from the data that I've seen that at least 50 percent, if not more, students will respond saying they can is so large," Johnson said.
Amy Mortensen, Overland Park senior, said she used the classroom to meet other
CLASSES are really an easy way to meet people," she said. "I will approach a
stranger in class and begin a conversation. However, I don't feel I could just walk up to her.
Mortensen said although she usually did not, she thought it was not improper for a wife to wear a dress.
"If I wanted to, I feel I could make the first move and initiate the conversation," she said. "I will sometimes and I do feel it is proper."
Lanki said he had sought a fraternity to break down the size of KU.
He said he thought most first meetings were initiated by men.
"It's something that bridges the gap for me," he said. "However, I also meet new friends through other friends that happen to know each other."
"Sometimes I wish it wasn't that way," he said. "Although things are changing, I still think women think they can't make the first moves. And a woman who does intimates
Coleman said the changes in society's views of a woman's role in a relationship
"If one way we've seen the social rituals begin to break down," she said. "We's step back and see."
Legislature to decide on tax relief, budget
Tomorrow: How money can affect a relationship.
When the Kansas Legislature reconvenes tomorrow for its three-day wrap-up session, members will decide the fate of two issues important to KU students: the Kansas Board of Regents budget and a tax relief package.
Although the Regents budget is expected to sail through both houses, the tax relief package undoubtedly will encounter some stormy weather.
The controversy over a tax relief package began more than a month ago as a result of a surprise discovery of nearly $100 million in excess tax collections.
As the end of the regular session neared, Kansas House and Senate leaders from both parties worked out a $79 million tax relief package that included a $20 tax rebate for each person and the elimination of a utilities sales tax.
Although House members gave the package their approval, the Senate flatly rejected it. In its place, Senate members proposed their own plan for tax relief.
So far, only one of the proposals from both
packages—the elimination of the taxes on utilities—has been passed by both House and Senate.
UNDER THE Senate plan, $45 million would go for tax relief for home builders, $37 million would be used for sales tax reductions and $13 million would be returned by allowing more taxpayers to itemize their income tax reductions.
Carlin's approval of the measure takes care of about $22 million of the excess money and legislators are expected to spend the better part of their three-day session trying to deactivate a mutually pleasing plan for getting rid of the rest of it.
AS FAR AS the Regents budget is concerned, House and Senate members agreed on funding for the Regents schools before the regular session adjourned, but the appropriation bill still must be approved by both Houses as well as by the governor.
Under a compromise bill that was drafted by a combined House and Senate conference committee are provisions for a 6.5 percent increase in salaries for faculty members. The Senate approved a 7 percent increase but the house endorsed only a 6 percent increase.
The conference committee also agreed to reduce from $2 million to $1 million a Senate recommendation for accessibility improvement and students and improvements to save energy.
Other recommendations included in the bill are a 6 percent increase for other operating expenses and a 9.5 percent increase for student employee wages.
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The project includes extensive planting in the areas of the visual arts and computer centers, and near the N zone next to the campus, which are located on the campus to replace the dead ones.
KU grooming for graduation
Weather permitting, the KU landscaping crew will complete a $10,000 planting project in time for commencement May 24. The director of landscaping, said yesterday.
Rodger Oroke, director of facilities operations, said the landscaping crew's goal was to beautify the campus for commencement.
"The high point of campus appearance is at commencement because thousands of visitors and alumni come here," he said. "We try to bring everything together at that time. We shoot to have it done before commencement."
"It it all depends on the weather," Mathes said. "If we get much more rain, we will have to wait until next fall to do the planting."
MATHES SAID planting in the visual arts area began last month.
Mathes said the saddling east of Bailey Hall in Strong Hall were due to the hurricanes.
"We planted one load of trees and shrubs before the rain shut us down. There are a
lot of dogwoods and seedless mulberry trees in this area," he said.
"The rest of the campus will require mowing, trash pick-up and last-minute trimming. We ask the crew to work on the lawn as much as possible. They will be working 12 days straight."
The landscaping crew has been simultaneously working on the West Campus project that runs from 21st to 23rd streets.
According to Oroke, the curbing project was undertaken because the curbs "were deteriorated and would require replacement." Oroke said the weather and chemical damage from salt in the winter deteriorated the curbs. Jayhawk Boulevard was most severely damaged, he
Mathes said replacing the plants was expensive.
Landscaping for the computer center and the N zone areas were started last fall. Mathes said he hoped to complete planning sometime next week.
"Commencement will limit what we can do on the other projects," he said. "During the week of commencement, the slope will have to be mowed two or three times. The Campanile slope is the focal point during the day of commencement.
"Pecan, redbud, whitebud, cottonless cottonwood and bald cypress are the main types of trees we will be planting in the other areas."
Deciduous trees and shrubs will be planted in these areas. A variety of trees will be scattered throughout the campus, he said.
STUDENTS HAVE caused almost as many problems as the weather, he said.
*Shrubs cost $3 to $10 each and $5 for labor each we replace them. Some of*
"We face some very serious problems," he said. "Some students tramp over the plants. South of the Campanile, they are walking across shrubs. We now have three grassy areas that are far apart in a fence between the C parking zone and Naismith Hall because of the hedge plants.
"LAST SUMMER, we filled a ditch at Moore Hall and 21st street with dirt that came from the Robinson and/or Malotell. We have now seeded and fertilized it.
Mathes has a crew of 34 permanent, full-time workers. In the spring, 12 to 15 seasonal employees are hired. The summer crew has 20 members, he said.
Mathes said they were making three more softball fields, one more baseball field and six or seven more football fields in the 23rd street area.
"The ditch had running water and was hard to maintain because it caught trash. To make the area better, we filled it and put in a sewage system."
MATHEIS, HOWEVER, said the 3,000 yards of sod replaced last week was not used.
The need for much of the sod is due to the curbing project, Mathes said.
"Sledding on Potter Lake broke about eight crabapple trees, which will cost $10 per acre."
the shrubs have been replaced three or four times in the 13 months I've been
"The sod is sometimes so muddy that the students will step around it."
Early travel plans urged for summer abroad
"If people wait until the last minute, it's going to take longer. Normally a passport takes two to three weeks to be issued. But if something is wrong with the application, it is held up until the correct information is sent."
The office of study abroad and the Lawrence post office are urging those planning to travel abroad this summer to apply for passports early.
Janie Rake, a main post office clerk stenographer in charge of charges, said recently that "This is the peak season and a majority of port passages are needing to be processed."
She said people sometimes sit in improper pictures or unofficial birth ceramics.
"Sometimes people will bring in certificates from the hospital," Rake said. However, she said, these certificates were unsatisfactory.
THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE must be a state-certified copy. That is, it must have the registrar's signature, the seal state, or the registration filed within a year after the birth, she said.
Those applying for a passport also should have a second form of identification.
Two pictures, taken within the past six months, also are required. The pictures must be on non-glossy, high-quality paper, or near background and be 2 inches by 2 inches.
Rake said that the post office usually suggested people use commercial
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Mary Ryan, study abroad adviser, said,
"Anyone going abroad should not wait until the last minute."
She suggested that potential travelers
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photographers and tell the photographers the oiicture is for a passport.
The old passport and two new pictures
with a $10 check or money order to the
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Passport application forms are available at the main post office, 645 Vermont St. Applications are accepted Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
A PASSPORT costs $13 and is valid for five years. Those who have been issued a passport within eight years before submits their application will be charged the time at the time may permit a forpass to be mail.
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She suggested that potential travelers also look into immunization and insurance
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SHE SAID THAT this week and next week the office of study abroad would conduct orientations for students going to Germany, France and Britain.
At these orientations students will be given additional preparation to live abroad. She said that students would be advised of language barriers, unfamiliar customs and the practical aspects of daily living, such as banking.
She said there would be a discussion of academic differences between the United States and China.
"We expect students to do well academically, not to go off," she said.
There will be an informational meeting concerning Fulbright-Hays grants and KU's Direct Exchange Scholarships at 3:30 p.m. at the International Room of the Kansas Union.
THE APPLICATION deadline for 1080-4
HEY'S hawts grants and Direct-
Exchange Shares
Ryan said anyone interested in studying in the Orient this summer could still submit applications. She said that those interested in studying this summer in most countries, except Germany, could still apply. Most of the deadlines are flexible, she said.
Further information about study abroad can be obtained from the office of study abroad.
Ryan said those planning to study abroad should be prepared.
She said that students were given a reading list by the office to better acquaint themselves with the country they would be living in.
"The more you know about the country you'll be living in, the better off you'll be."
"Know something about your own country," too, "Ryan said. In a sense, students are going to other countries as ambassadors."
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