1
notice
AUDIOSURF
wescoe wit
Guy: Blow jobs are like Sheridan's for lunch. It's good, but it's not everything I want in a meal.
**Girl:** You should have been there
Saturday. Saturday was my day of
debauchery.
**Guy:** Debauchery?
**Girl:** Yeah. Beer; hookah and biscuits
and gravy.
**Guy 1:** I despise Valentine's Day. In fact, if anyone else wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day, I'm going to hurt them.
**Guy 2:** Happy Valentine's Day!
**Guy 1:** If I had a heavy object of some kind, I would so throw it at you right now.
**Guy 1:** (speaking like William Shatner)
There's...something in my pants.
**Guy 2:** No there's not.
Professor: It wasn't really a "fuck." It was more like a "fucklet." That's my new favorite word:
"fucklet."
Guy I: Wait, he inherited an Amish family?
**Guy 2:** Not inherited...
**Guy 1:** No, that's awesome. He should be like; "Hey, I own you. Do stuff for me."
**Guy 1:** When I go to that class on Friday, I always feel like she's just speaking gibberish.
**Guy 2:** I always feel like that.
**Guy:** Has anyone seen Beerfest?
**Girl:** Yeah. More like sausage fest.
Girl 1: Does the Lawrence Journal-World have a Saturday edition?
Girl 2: No.The news stops on weekends.
Guy 1: (to girl passing by) Hi!
Guy 2: I hope you don't think that saying "hi" is going to get you laid.
Girl: (on phone) Well, I really need to take a shower and at least do a little homework before I go tanning.
tomorrow's news
- Chris Bell
All you music junkies out there should check out Audiosurf, a new "puzzle racer" for the PC developed by Dylan Fitterer. The game combines music and gameplay in a whole new way. Fitterer says.
After booting up the game and choosing a character, you get to select a song of your choice from your PC's music library.The song you pick determines the speed, shape and traffic congestion of the racetrack. The goal is to run into objects of the same color along the way to make combos and earn points, which are tracked on a global leader board.
Competition for the top rank is fierce, but if you get kicked from the No.1 spot, the game even emails you to fill you in.
If you can't find the perfect song for your ride, Fitterer suggests Daft Punk for an exciting race, or Tool for a longer experience.
Audiosir is available for purchase online at www.audiosir.com for $9.95.
- Chris Bell
Come in today for the benefits of our Onsite Lab!
Peoples Optical is the perfect place to find your new look. With frames from all the top designers and the convenience of The EyeDoctors Optometrists Onsite Lab, We'll help you save time and (for a limited time) money!
FREE!
PRESCRIPTION LENSES with new frame purchase*
737 Massachusetts Street
843-6828 • TheEyeDoctors.net
Must present coupon at time of purchase. *Restrictions apply. Limit one pair per customer. Not valid with any other offer or insurance discount. Includes limited prescriptions and tents options. Offer expires 4/30/2008
Professional eye exams and free style consultations provided by
The EyeDoctors
04 02.28.2008
VOL. 5 ISS. 22
100%
interesting fact; Feb. 29, 1504: Columbus uses a lunar eclipse to frighten hostile Jamaican Indians www.brainyhistory.com
**THE HISTORY OF GREAT BRITAIN**
TABLE 1
contact the writer:
cbell@kansan.com