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RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW NEWS YOU CAN USE
Jayhawk Bookstore ..at the top of Naismith Hill
HAWK TOPICS
1
PRESIDENT BUSH
CLAIMS HE WANTS TO
CLOSE THE U.S. PRISON
AT GUANТАМО BAY
BUT IS WAITING TO SEE
WHERE THE "ENEMY
COMBATANTS" COULD
BE TRANSFERRED.
Abe & Jake's Landing seems like a reasonable location:spacious lots of security and music that's absolute torture.
THE KU ATHLETICS DEPARTMENT HIRES A FULL-TIME PSYCHOLOGIST.
So now "psychologist" is what we're calling the undergrad who takes tests for the football team?
3 CIA DIRECTOR PORTER GOSS RESIGNS AMID RUMORS OF LOBBYIST-RUN GAMBLING AND PROSTITUTION PARTIES.
Booze, whores and gambling?
Sounds like a night at The Hawk ...
but probably way more fun.
4 CATHOLIC CARDINALS URGE BOYCOTT, LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THE MOVIE THE DA VINCI CODE.
Which is more effective, riots or rosaries? The debate ends here, and smart money's on "riots."
KU GRADUATE STUDENT RICHARD FRIESNER ONLY COMPLETES 1/3 OF HIS PROPOSED THREE DAY MARATHON ON JAYHAWK BOULEVARD TO RAISE MONEY FOR JUBILEE CAFE.
The homeless be damned,
we didn't give you a dollar for
one nearly day of running.
Get back out there, or you
give us 5,697.
5
THE LAWRENCE CITY COMMISSION CONSIDERS A PROPOSAL THAT WOULD BAN CELL PHONE USE WHILE DRIVING.
Further Commission efforts to reduce driver distractions should include the prohibition of middle-aged women bending over in their flower beds.
AFTER A 10- SEASON RUN, THE SEMINAL WB SMASH "7TH HEAVEN" AIRS ITS FINAL EPISODE.
Appropriately, the series ends with the Rapture; the entire Camden crew ascends gloriously toward heaven, except youngest daughter Ruthie, who in a "Dallas"-like twist reveals herself as the Anti-Christ and enslaves the sorry, sinful remains of mankind.
THE PHOENIX SUNS COME BACK FROM 3-1 PLAYOFF SERIES DEFICIT TO STUN KOBE BRYANT AND THE LAKERS.
"I feel violated," Bryant said after the loss."I feel like some high-profile thug bent me over in a hotel room and raped me of my dignity."
FRANCO-ISLAMIST ZACARIAS MOUSSAOUI AVOIDS THE DEATH PENALTY, RECEIVES LIFE SENTENCE FOR HIS "ROLE" IN THE 9/11 ATTACKS.
As a further punishment, the US government plans to subject Moussaoul to the worst of what Western culture has to offer, namely, a week-long regimen of Bull-Hawk-Wheell
"HAWK TOPICS" CO-AUTHOR CHRIS RAINE RECEIVES FIELD-SOBRIETY TEST, SPEEDING TICKET EARLY SUNDAY MORNING.
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16> JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh