DOES SEX COMPLICATE A RELATIONSHIP? JOHN FRESHMAN
JOHN, FRESHMAN
Jessica: John, honestly, why do you think we write this column? There are innumerable problems resulting from sex in relationships. Adding something as emotionally charged as sex is going to complicate things. Even in a committed, long-term relationship, sex adds something that calls for adaptability. In the case of friends, there's always that question "did that happen because we like each other or because I've always thought he was a fox?" Yes, sex complicates any relationship, any time.
Brian: inevitably, yes. Just look at Jerry and Elaine. They sat down together, hammered out a seemingly foolproof no-strings attached plan, and still couldn't prevent the emotional connection that comes with coitus. The only way to prevent the complications of sex is to either a) never have it, or b) do it until someone becomes attached, then never talk again. No matter what, when you have sex, you give up part of you and you invariably feel that the partner owes you some respect for the act. Once anything goes wrong, a stronger emotional spark will be ignited, and you can say bye-bye to calm quarrels.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE DATED
SOMEONE. WHAT CAN I DO TO GET BACK
OUT THERE ONE I GRADUATE? I'M TIRED
OF BOOTY CALLS.
JAVIER, SENIOR
Brian: There is no one way to find a girlfriend. Just go about your life, but be on the lookout. Go to a concert and look for girls who are alone or only with other girls. Frequent your favorite coffee shop or bookstore. The more comfortable you are when looking for a girlfriend, the more likely your success.
Jessica: It's nice to see you've grown up Everyone should reach this stage at some point — when bootsy calls no longer provide the excitement they once clad. As far as finding people who want to date with the potential for long-term commitment, that shouldn't be too difficult, considering where you are in your schooling. Many graduating people realize that it's time to be an adult, and with that comes long-term relationships. I advise you to talk to friends about what you're looking for, and see if they know anyone who's looking for the same thing. You may also want to try poking random hot people on Facebook.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE, BUT SHE THINKS YOU ARE DATING? - KEVIN, SOPHOMORE
Jessica: First, off make sure you're not being a处女. It happens all the time. You 'hang out' with several girls thinking it's totally justifiable to cuddle and watch a movie, but in reality, you're leading them on. On the other hand, I think it's a shame that some genuinely nice people are mistaken
for teases, when they're just being kind. (Don't misread me; cuddling is a step beyond general kindness.) After you're sure you're not leading anyone on say, I heard that you said we were dating is that true? if the answer is yes, explain your intentions flat out, but be nice.
Brian: Ah yes, the difficult situation of the assumed relationship. Here's a mean but effective way of getting rid of it. While a group of yous hang out, invite a girl you have a crush on and be all over her (if you want to be nicer just talk to the girl). Say you're not ready for a relationship and want to be friends.
10> JAYPLAY 05.11.2006