NOTICE RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW NEWS YOU CAN USE
HAWK TOPICS
5?
1
MEXICAN-AMERICANS, LEGAL AND ILLEGAL, PLAY HOOKY AND PROTEST NATIONWIDE ON MAY 1.
So that's why Chipotle was closed ...man, we were really hungry, too
2
2 BOBBY SCHINDLER, BROTHER OF TERRI SCHIAVO, VISITS KU AS PART OF "STAND UP FOR LIFE" WEEK
4 THE KU DEBATE TEAM FINISHES THE SEASON RANKED FIRST NATIONALLY.
The scheduled speech was followed by a free showing of Weekend at Bernie's.
You may not take college debaters seriously, but those dudes have mad dialectical skill; one of them even convinced us to become Jehovah's Witnesses. Kudos, guys — we'll see you at the Kingdom Hall for worship.
MILLIONS OF HIGH SCHOOLERS ACROSS THE COUNTRY ATTEND THE PROM.
Tens of thousands of dresses now lie in tatters. Lives expected to follow in nine months.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
SPENDS AN
HOUR IN JAIL
AFTER BEING
BOOKED ON
CHARGES
RELATING TO HIS
IMPROPER USE
OF THE DRUG
OXYCONTIN
Hmm ...Limbaugh's a drug addict and Bill O'Reilly a known, albeit unconvicted, sex offender. Place your bets now on what crime you think Ann Coulter will commit.
3 MYRIAD BOZOS CAMP OUT FOR FREE FOOD AT SPANGLES LAWRENCE'S NEWEST FAST-FOOD JOINT.
The last time this many native Wichitans took to the streets of Lawrence was for the great sleeveless-shirt giveaway at Wal-Mart in the fall of 2002. Then, as now, their appetite for low culture was insatiable.
THE SEPTEMBER 11TH PAEAN UNITED 93 APPEARS IN THEATERS.
Ah, there's nothing better on a Saturday night than being entertained by a movie about a recent national disaster. Keep an eye out for George W. Bush Doesn't Care about Black People: The Hurricane Katrina Story, coming this fall.
Harvey Walden,
Celebrity Fit Club
coach
OSCAR-WINNING ACTOR AND RUGGED INDIVIDUALIST GEORGE CLOONEY ANNOUNCES HE IS UPSET BY THE ATROCITIES IN THE DARFUR REGION OF SUDAN
Finally. The world was simply waiting for the third-best Batman to denounce genocide; now we can do something about it.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?
IF YOU COULD IMPLEMENT ONE LAW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?
AS A KID, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP?
WHAT'S THE BEST PRANK YOU'VE EVER PULLED
My high school crush took me damn near four years to conquer. She gave me an ultimatum; her or the Corps I have been a Marine for 20 years.
I've played good gags on my brother-in-law. He nearly pisses on himself when I get him
A good workout. One Klondike is nearly 300 calories and over half is from fat.
I went from wanting to be a truck driver, cop, firefighter, Bruce Lee and finally said I was going to be a Green Beret.
I would like to see a smoking ban across the states.
WESCOE WIT
Umm ... I'd pay for it.
Last year a friend and I got a mini-keg but I told my roommate it was a keg. He called over 10 people and when he found out it was a mini he kind of flipped out.
She's still around here, at KU. Nothing ever happened but I think she knew she was my crush.
Girl: What did you do this weekend?
Guy: Laundry.
Girl: That's it?
Guy: Yeah. I was down to wearing some pretty weird stuff, so good thing I did.
Liz Nartowicz
I'd make a law that fixed the gas prices at $2.
For a long time I wanted to make video games, but now I'm doing films.
Girl: Why don't sorority girls ever want to go see shows? I mean, they just sit around and eat chicken nuggets.
Girl1 Look at this.
Girl 2 Are you kidding me?
can't read in the morning.
Carolyn Tharp
50 CENT DENOUNCES OPRAH WINFREY IN AN ASSOCIATED PRESS INTERVIEW, SAYING THE TALK-SHOW HOST "CATERS TO OLDER WOMEN."
When asked by the reporter if he catered to young white men, 50 paused briefly then responded, saying "Ask me that again and I'll bite you in the jugular."
FOX NEWS BIGWIG
TONY SNOW
BECOMES THE NEW
WHITE HOUSE PRESS
SECRETARY.
It will be interesting to see how Snow adjusts to being a partisan Republican spin machine after working as an author for Fox News. left right 10
If the Wang Burger is GOOD ENOUGH FOR ESPN is it good enough for you?
Cheeseburger, Fries and a Pop
(All of Feb., Mon.-Thurs.
11 a.m. - 2 p.m. with KUID)
$3.50
2 Upgrade to a WANG for $1
Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh
13➔ JAYPLAY 05.04.2006
The Tradition of the Wheel has been rolling for over 50 years