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SPEAK
Spreadsheets are a girl's best friend
What happens when Breakfast at Tiffany's meets Weird Science? by Melissa Byrd
We had been dating nearly two years when it happened. My boyfriend wanted to talk about engagement rings
This surprised me. Though he is hardly the fear-of-commitment type, until recently he had been cautious about planning our future together.
His reasoning: You shouldn't speculate on the future because you don't know what will happen. To some extent, I agreed. But that didn't stop me from putting his name on Tiffany & Co.'s mailing list a few months ago.
He laughed at my not-so-sly antics. "I got something in the mail today," he said nonchalantly on the phone. I knew immediately he was talking about the eggshell blue catalog."I think someone is trying to give me a hint."
"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "Maybe the catalog was supposed to go to your neighbor."
"Yeah, maybe." he replied, knowing full well it was lying.
When he suggested we check out rings at the mall one rainy Saturday, my jaw dropped. He grabbed my hand, took a deep breath and walked into the first store. We were immediately greeted by an over-enthusiastic saleswoman.
"What can I help you with today?" she asked with a wide smile.
He quickly answered. "Oh, we're just looking, thanks."
We walked to the glass case where the diamond rings were displayed in all their sparkling glory. I peered over and was immediately drawn to the grandest one.
The saleswoman wandered over to us again after a few minutes. "Are you sure there's nothing I can help you with?" she persisted.
"Oh, I'm just in the preliminary research stage," he replied. "I wanted to gather some information." And then he started speaking in tongues.
"So when a diamond is classified as a VW51, the value is higher than a V51 — and a D is the highest color quality, right?" he asked.
The saleswoman tilted her head and wrinkled her brow, looking confused. She obviously didn't get this kind of question (or this kind of customer) very often.
My head started to spin. VVS1.VS1.
SI2. He spouted off these letter and number combinations like Rain Man.
He turned to me and asked, "Would you rather have a VVS1, H color with a very good cut or a VS1, F color with
an ideal cut?"He sounded like he was conducting a highly complex science experiment.
step further and went to law school, a playground for people with similar predispositions. Now that he's a lawyer, and constantly surrounded by other lawyers, he is even more methodically inclined. Probabilities and logic are in his blood. Details are his life force.
He built his own computer. I bought an over-priced PC with more features than I needed because I didn't comparison shop. He likes (and is infuriatingly good at) math. I can't do basic algebra. He is relentlessly thorough. I'm impulsive. He reigns over his money with an iron fist. I take a more progressive approach to finances.
But in spite of our differences, we fit as a couple. We have rubbed off on one
another in subtle ways. I've developed > a nasty habit of double-checking that I've locked my doors or paid a bill on time. And he now knows navy socks and black shoes don't go together.
Because I classify diamonds in terms such as "sparkly," "pretty" and "big," his question was a little over my head. When I imagine my engagement ring, I picture something simple, classic and elegant; technical diamond jargon doesn't really flow with my hopeless romantic ideals.
Later, at his apartment, he called me into the computer room where he was working.
Practical, analytical and a self-proclaimed OCD sufferer, he is nothing like me in many ways. I attribute it partly to genetics, partly to his profession. He comes from a family of engineers. Of the six people in his family, five are engineers, him included. He took it a
"I want to show you something," he said.
He motioned for me to sit down. I did. He turned to me, beaming proudly, pulled up Excel on his computer and showed me a spreadsheet he made that compared diamonds.
I stifled a laugh. Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but nothing says love like a good spreadsheet.
08. 16.2006 JAYPLAY <19
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