8A THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
KULTURE
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15. 2006
Andy Chester, St. Louis junior, and Brian Isham, Wichita junior, joke about the simplicity of their relationship. Chester and Isham have been openly dating for six months. "It's really nice to be with someone you care about," Isham said.
Michelle Grittmann/KANSAN
Love triumphs
BY ANDREA CHAO
editor@kansan.com
KANSAN CORRESPONDENT
Same race, similar age and different sex are all defining characteristics of society's formula of a "normal" couple. However, many students at the University of Kansas do not fit into that equation.
A romantic dinner and a Valentine surprise is what senior Brian Isham, Wichita junior, has in store for boyfriend Andy Chester, St. Louis junior.
"We're going to do the typical thing and go to dinner," Isham said. "It's going to be relatively romantic."
Isham and Chester met through Isham's roommate, and they have been dating for about six months. Although the couple is comfortable with their relationship, not everyone considers it as legitimate as a heterosexual relationship.
"I've never been personally attacked, but sometimes it can be awkward," Isham said. "It's not that they're are attacking us, they just consider us less valid. It's kind of offensive."
Others' opinions do not affect Isham's view of the relationship.
"It doesn't bother me. I know exactly
how I feel, and that's enough for me," Isham said.
Intercultural couples provide other examples of nontraditional relationships. Sophomores Brent Becker, Hutchinson, and Neisha Fernandes, a native of Kuwait, have experienced this first hand. Becker is white, and Fernandes is Indian.
"I think it enhances the relationship," Becker said. "Being different races and from different countries provides a lot more exploration. I encourage interracial dating. You gain more perspective."
Couples remain strong in spite of pressure that comes from nontraditional romance
The couple met about a year ago at a Halloween party and has been dating for four months. Neither Becker nor Fernandes has experienced much adversity because of dating outside of their races.
"So far people have accepted us as a normal couple," Fernandes said.
Becker and Fernandes planned to go out to dinner.
The holiday has special significance for Fernandes this year.
“It's important to me to express my love,” Becker said, “and Valentine's Day is a good time to do it.”
"It wasn't that important until this year," Fernades said. "This is my first real
relationship, and it means more now that I 'm with somebody."
For Leavenworth freshman Ashley Matzeder and her boyfriend, age difference and distance are both obstacles. Matzeder is a college student studying applied behavior sciences, while her boyfriend, a 16-year-old sophomore in high school, lives in Illinois.
"He gets a lot of congratulations for having an older girlfriend," Matzeder said. "For me, it's kind of the reverse. Sometimes I get made fun of, but I don't really care."
Neither family has a problem with the relationship, but Matzeder's family was hesitant at first.
"My family is still adjusting," Matzeder said. "They just don't want to see me get hurt. His doesn't care. They're both pretty OK with it."
The couple met online and did not meet in person until their one-year anniversary.
"We met in a homework help chat room," Matzeder said. "But we ended up not talking about homework at all."
After getting to know each other through e-mail and telephone conversations, the couple realized how
much they had in common. After a couple of months of communication, Matzeder and her boyfriend developed a relationship.
"When you only get to talk to someone online and on the phone, you focus on thoughts and emotions, not just the physical stuff," Matzeder said. "You get to know each other spiritually."
For long-distance couples, celebrating Valentine's Day can be a challenge. Matzeder and her boyfriend have scheduled a phone date, but not being able to be together is frustrating.
"It's hard because all of my friends and roommates have boyfriends here, and I don't get to be with the person I'm supposed to be with." Matzeder said. "There's nothing we can do."
Despite the distance between Illinois and Kansas, the age difference and their nontraditional meeting, Matzeder and her boyfriend continue to maintain a strong relationship.
"People need to realize that even though we're unconventional, I love him to death." Matzeder said.
— Edited by Matt Wilson