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Telling your family
Ryan McNabb, Liberal junior, has been dating his girlfriend for more than a year. McNabb is Episcopalian and he says that telling his parents about his girlfriend's Catholic faith wasn't difficult McNabb is considering converting to his girlfriend's faith. He fears that a conversation with his family about conversion could become a "big deal."
In these situations, students often want advice on how to tell parents or grandparents about a significant other's religious background, says Sean Heston, vice president of the KU Religious Advisers. Heston suggests that couples take time to express what is appealing about the other person's faith and use those facts as a way to start a conversation with family members. If you know that your family will have a major problem with the relationship, figure out exactly what you plan to tell them beforehand to ease tensions.
The marriage ceremony
Anothertension that interfaith couples face is deciding what kind of wedding ceremony
they'll have. Mills and Radasky have decided on a beachside ceremony that will incorporate elements from both of their faiths. The couple will recite handwritten vows under a chupah, a traditional Jewish canopy symbolizing the home that will be built by the couple, and members of both families will recite scripture readings, in English and then in Hebrew.
McNabb says that if he and his girlfriend decide to get married, it will be in a Catholic church. To
McNabb, belonging to or getting married In a specific church wasn't as important as simply going to church, any church.
INTERFAITH HELP These organizations offer counseling and help with questions about interfaith relationships:
"I've been to the Episcopalian church and it had a lot of older people. I liked Corpus Christi better and Iliked the priest there better," he says.
KURA (Kansas University Religious Advisors)
Contact: Sean Heston
(785) 550-6563
www.ku.edu/~kura/directory
CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services)
Watkins Health Center
Second Floor
Lawrence, KS 66044
(785) 864-2277
www.caps.ku.edu
Raising children
Couples that plan to wed need to discuss how their children will be raised prior to getting married, Heston says.
"If you don't deal with it ahead of time, it can come back really hard after kids are born," he says. To ease the anxiety of extended family members, let loved ones know what to expect when children come into the picture, Heston suggests. Grandparents, especially,can put added pressure on young couples because they want their grandchildren to be raised in a certain way. Having a plan and sticking to it can ease some of these pressures, he says.
Although Mills and Radasky haven't decided in which faith they will raise their children, Mills says they have had many constructive conversations about the topic and that they will make
the decision before getting married.
Mills also plans on educating her children about both the Methodist and the Jewish faiths she says there will always be a Christmas tree and a Menorah in her house during the winter holidays.
Mills starts to hurriedly gather up her backpack. Her best advice for other interfaith couples is to "be open about your expectations. Don't be afraid to get candid. It's your faith. It's your foundation," she says.
DID YOU KNOW... SEX IS THE SAFEST TRANQUILIZER IN THE WORLD. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. Source:www.stunning-stuff.com Kristen Maxwell
MELTIN POT • EARNEST SEWN • DIESEL • ANTIK DENIM
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