RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW NEWS YOU CAN USE
NOTICE
HAWK TOPICS
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1 KAPPA SIGMA RETAINS ITS CHARTER, DESPIE ALLEGATIONS OF UNDERAGE DRINKING AND "INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR" TAKING PLACE IN THE HOUSE.
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The fraternity promises to restrict future underage drinking and "inappropriate behavior" to Bull-Hawk-Wheel!
3 FRESHMAN GUARD MICAH DOWNS LEAVES THE KU MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM.
Like Alex Galindo before him, Downs said roommate Russell Robinson's constant barrage of wet willies, noogies and charley horses led to his transfer.
PRESIDENT BUSH DELIVERS THIS YEAR'S ALF LANDON LECTURE AT KANSAS STATE.
Biology 101 students in attendance pleased to discover all scientific questions can be answered with a sigh and a simple, "Because God says so."
INTELLIGENT DESIGN PROPONENT DELIVERS LECTURE AT THE LIED CENTER LAST MONDAY.
THE DAILY PUZZLE SUDOKU RISES IN
POPULARITY.
Staring at numbers for hours on end hasn't been this fun since trying to figure out how you overdrew your checking account.
HAMAS DOMINATES LEGISLATIVE ELECTIONS IN THE PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY.
Hours later, however, voters were shocked to discover they had elected known terrorists, not a delicious dip that goes well with pita.
Moviegoers expressed shock, despair after realizing it wasn't Sean Penn.
ACTOR CHRIS PENN DIES.
LOS ANGELES LAKERS GUARD KOBE BRYANT SCORES 81 POINTS AGAINST THE TORONTO RAPTORS, A SINGLE-GAME TOTAL SECOND ONLY TO WILT CHAMBERLAIN'S LEGENDARY 100-POINT GAME.
Much to his disappointment, Bryant also lags behind Wilt in his number of sexual conquests; vows to do "whatever it takes" to make up the difference.
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Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh
Congratulations to George Weston for winning John Mayer Trio's newest CD,"Try!"
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02. 02.2006 JAYFLAY -13