Monday, January 26, 1987 / University Daily Kansan
A fantasy issue
The drinking age in Kansas has changed, excluding a large percentage of students from entering the local taverns. Concerned about what these poor students would do for entertainment on the weekends, Brady Stanton and Kelly Milligan, student body president and vice president, decided to address the issue.
The two, leaders of the appropriately named Cheers coalition, made the issue part of their platform when they ran for office last semester. Now, they are planning to lobby the Lawrence City Commission to let these excluded students in taverns.
Because the state has raised the drinking age, they will need a lot of luck persuading the commission to go for the idea.
Stanton and Milligan drew attention to their campaign with this issue, which was really nothing more than a
vote-getter. It has no chance of becoming reality. The issue, while appealing to many students, is not in their best interest.
The idea of underage students in taverns should be forgotted altogether.
Although the issue still is on the coalition's list, the budget crisis, which is now at the top of their priority list, has diluted the issue.
They claim the taverns could use a system to prevent the underage students from drinking. However, the idea is impractical and will never get by the city commission.
Students can have a good time without going to bars, and no underage students have died from boredom because they couldn't get into taverns.
With only a six-month term. Stanton and Milligan should concentrate on the important items and forget the fantasy issues.
Lacking in culture
The sad state of arts spending should have abruptly opened some eyes last week.
According to statistics from the National Association of State Arts Agencies in Washington, D.C., Kansas placed 47th in the United States in its per capita arts spending.
The national average for money spent per capita on the arts is 91 cents. Kansans spent an embarrassingly low 24.6 cents per capita.
Unfortunately, this degrading ranking is Kansas' best ever, according to the agency, which ranks the states annually based on appropriations made to state arts agencies.
Kansas needs to begin spending more money to enrich the arts. Improving cultural and arts opportunities could improve the image of the state.
But the state seems to be moving in the opposite direction. The Kansas Legislature has proposed a 6.9 percent cut in financing for the Kansas Arts Commission for fiscal year 1987.
Although the cuts would affect the entire state, Lawrence probably wouldn't suffer as much as the rest of the state because of the University of Kansas and the city's proximity to Kansas City.
However, Lawrence already has started the year out with a boost for the arts. On Jan. 13, the Lawrence City Commission passed a resolution requiring the city to spend a percentage of building and capital improvement costs on the arts.
The rest of the state should follow Lawrence's lead.
A shortage of teachers
More than 1.3 million teachers will be needed by 1993 to staff elementary and high schools, both public and private.
The nation's schools are scrambling to recruit teachers as they encounter the largest shortage of qualified applicants in history. Many recruitment methods are questionable. Many temporarily fulfill a school's immediate need. Aside from raising salaries, none offer the necessary attraction and future stability to this necessary profession.
Life as an instructor often means long hours and low pay. As a result, enrollment in university educational programs has decreased 50 percent since 1970.
Few states have raised teachers' salaries. And even where they have, the change
has been limited to starting salaries, providing little incentive to remain in teaching.
Many states have offered scholarships and forgivable loans to students who agree to teach after graduation, but with little success.
Some states now provide an alternative teacher certification program. Such programs allow school districts to accept people as teachers who have completed a two-month crash course in the basics of the field. A good way to attract people to teaching? Not if we want our teachers to be rained in education.
This may be a temporary solution to an ailing school district with few staff members. However, to keep people in the profession, states must put stock into education — meaning salary incentives.
News staff
News staff
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Business staff
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Bonnie Hardy ... Ad director
Deane Stephens ... Retail sales manager
Kelly Scherer ... Campus sales manager
Duncan Calhoun ... Marketing manager
Lori Copple ... Classified manager
Jennifer Lumianski ... Production manager
David Nixon ... National sales manager
Jeanne Hines ... Sales and marketing adviser
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Opinions
Chicken pox at 23 leaves mark on writer
I had an empty childhood.
At least that's the impression I've been getting from my friends and colleagues regarding my recent bout with the chicken pox.
you're supposed to get those before you five," they all knowingly informed me. "I had 'em when I was three. I hardly remember having them. I was so young."
Kirk Kahler
I actually felt the need to apologize because I was afflicted with a disease at the wrong period of my life — as though it were a conscious decision on my part. I never really meant to harm or disappoint anyone.
Columnist
tions went a little beyond the pale of good advice.
Once the guilt was deeply placed, an avalanche of advice, prescriptions and home remedies wasn't far behind. Don't get me wrong. I sincerely appreciated the concerns of my friends, but some of the sugges-
For instance, although he never formally suggested it, one of my colleagues repeatedly recounted a tale of how his mother saw fit to submerge him in a bath of Clorox water to combat the chicken pox.
Now, this guy and I have had quite a few classes together and have gotten to know one another rather well. Judging from some of the stories he has told me about his life, I can see why he submerged in a tub of Clorox, I quickly decided to avoid bleach at all possible costs.
I was told by several people how unfortunate and unfair it was that they twice contracted a disease that affected them, and anyone more than once a lifetime.
At the other end of the scale, many people jumped on the opportunity to supply me with their most interesting anecdote concerning the chicken pox.
I thought it was bad enough I was subjected to all this nonsense while trying to cope with such an annoying illness, but I almost screamed when my mother jumped on the bandwagon.
"Bill Schoenhofer's mother got the chicken pox when she was 92 years old. she said one day during one of her calls to get an update on my condition.
She will never know how comforting it was to know that I was not alone in contracting the chicken pox when I was past the embryonic stage of development. I credit my speedy response and the spiritual company of Bill Schoenhofer's mother, Tillie, although I have never met the lady.
On the other hand, having the chicken pox at this age has afforded me some entertainment as well.
Walking across campus and entering classrooms has been quite interruptions.
malady that is still quite present. In other words, I have scabs all over my face.
The stolen glances and attempts not to look at my rather unattractive appearance are priceless. I have never seen so many people interested in their shoes while they talked to me. And I love the way they've forced themselves not to ask what those things on my face were. It's become sort of a game to me. I suppose I'll have to find alternative forms of entertainment when I fully recover.
In all, it has been an unusual experience, complete with both good and bad aspects. I am glad to know that I probably will not get the chicken pox again, but it was a drag on my 32rd day flat on my back.
But, my biggest comfort is knowing that once the scabs have disappeared, my "friends" will stop calling me "Spot".
OUR SON ON DRUGS??! WHY, THAT UNGRATEFUL, LAZY, GOOD-FORNOTHING BUM! WHEN I SEE HIM,
WHEN I SEE HIM,
I'M GOING TO GIVE
HIM THE BEATING
OF HIS LIFE!
WHAT ARE OUR FRIENDS GOING TO THINK OF US! WHAT WILL THEY SAY? OUR SON...
ER...UGH...
WHAT'S HIS
NAME AGAIN?...
I SPEND 18 HOURS-A-DAY AT THE OFFICE WORKING MY FINGERS TO THE BONE! I TRAVEL ALL
OVER THE PLACE FOR WEEKS ON END ON BUSINESS TO EARN A LIVING JUST FOR HIM!
Distributed by King Features Syndicate
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I WORK,TOO!...
'Honey, you won't believe this but . . .'
One of the most difficult challenges facing any married man is coming up with a believable excuse for staying out late at night.
But no one has ever called his wife late at night and told a story that compares with that of William Goodloe, 26, a computer operator of suburban Mawood.
To appreciate Goodloe's story, we
Mike Royko
Columnist
have to start at the beginning, as he tells it.
He left home for his job at Pandick Press Midwest Inc., in downtown Chicago. He walked the few blocks to the Melrose Park commuter station where he catches the North Western.
But as he approached the station
she slowly long freight train
shows going.
The westbound freight blocked his
"It must have been three miles long." Goodloe said, "and as it was going by I heard the bell ringing that morning, train was going to be coming in.
way to the passenger station, so he said he would miss his caskettrain train.
What Goodlood did was scramble aboard one of the flatbed cars on the freight train. Then he intended to jump off on the other side.
"The trouble was, just when I was getting on the freight, it started going faster.
"So when I looked down at the ground, and was going to jump off, it was going so fast I got scared.
"I figured, OK, I made a mistake,
and I'll just ride to the next station,
and when the freight stops, I'll get off."
Not a bad plan. Except that the freight train didn't stop at the station. It was going about 40 miles an hour when it went through.
"It itdn't even slow down," Goodloe said. "And, man, I was getting cold. Going that fast on an open car, my behind was freezing off.
"But I wasn't worried. I knew it had to stop or slow down pretty soon."
"But when we went through Geneva I thought, ohoh, I was in trouble. That was the problem."
"I decided I'd better try to crawl to either the engine or the caboose and
see if I could find somebody and let them know I was on board. I started for the cabose, going from car to car."
But before he made it, the speed dropped. The train had slowed because it was approaching the bridge that spans the Mississippi River.
Goodloe was about to enter Iowa.
"I didn't wait. I jumped off. One of my shoes fell off when I hit the ground. Then you know what hapened. "Pooled it on my shoulder." "Did you enjoy the ride?" They knew I was on there all along. Maybe they thought I was a hobo."
Goodloot put his shoe back on and headed for a road. He was about 180 miles from home and he had $1.45 and his brown-bag lunch in his pock
"I was hoping to find a cop to find out what I could do."
And as he hoofed down the highway, he found a cop. Or the cop found his
Goodloe started to explain what had happened. But it isn't easy to tell in a few words a story about trying to crawl across a freight train in order to catch a passenger train, etc.
Then Goodloe noticed that the cop
kent looking at him suspiciously.
"Just wait a moment," the police man said, going to his car radio
And in a few minutes, other policemen arrived and Goodloe was taken.
"I mean, I was really feeling like the world had turned upside down on me. I start out the day by walking to my train to go to my job. Then I wind up in Iowa suspected of being a gunman. Wow, what a trip."
The policeman determined Good-
house wasn't the guy, so the police told
him to leave.
1 got on the phone and called my wife. I told her that I was in Iowa. She said: 'Where?' I told her: 'In Iowa. I got here on a freight train.'
"Boy, it took me a long time to convince her. Then she and my father drove there and got me."
Goodloe's story is true. The police confirmed it.
And did the experience teach Good
learn a lesson about not climbing
into the ladder.
"I suppose," he said. "But it wouldn't have been bad in the summer. The Mississippi was kind of pretty."
Mailbox
Railing solutions
While sliding around campus this past week, I have pondered my annual question: Why are there stairs on campus with no handrails? !
have developed two possible theories to explain this.
1. the persons responsible are still on campus or lurking in bushes or behind trees. They take sadistic pleasure from the looks of terror on
students' faces as they feel their feet slip out from under them.
2. This is the University's solution to overcrowded classes. Possibly, enough students will break limbs and go home for the semester.
BLOOM COUNTY
If neither of these is the true reason, then why is nothing done about it? If safety is really an issue, let's see progress toward handrails for all outdoor stairs.
I ASKED HER IF MY
BODY TURNED HER ON...
AND DO YOU KNOW
WHAT SHE SAIP?
Waverly senior
by Berke Breathed
WHAT ?
SHE SAID ALL SHE
WANTS OUT OF A LOVER
PHYSICALLY ARE 'LIPS
TO KISS AND A SHOULDER
TO CRY ON."
THAT'S VERY SWEET
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