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PUTTIN' OUT THE VIBES Before heading out on spring break know the difference between flirti and seducing.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS/ SARAH LEONARD
Practice flirting in a mirror or with your friends.
by Nicole Korman
Lia Mele was lying on the beach tanning when she heard a deep voice from behind her saying, 'Hey baby, you're lookin' sizzling.' Mele took one glance at the man and rolled back over.
For Mele, Miami sophomore, failed pick-up attempts like this are nothing unusual. She says that Miami is the flirt capital of the world and every day is like spring break. "Someone is always yelling at you to pull your car over. Once a guy even asked me to try on some shorts for him," Mele says.
Flirting is only natural, and without it life would be a bore. But mix flirting with a beach, alcohol, whip cream and Usher's "Yeah" and you get spring break. David Weiss, Olathe senior, says that spring break is the easiest time to flirt because of the warm weather and the multitude of bikinis. Being with friends also helps, he says, because they can help convince a girl to hang out.
Spring break is the one
time of year when inhibitions are left behind. But before you take the plunge and board a plane to Mexico, understand the difference between flirting and seducing.
Innocent fun
Flirting has been around since the beginning of time, says Susan Rabin, coauthor of How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting. It can be dated back to Shakespearean times when women used to drop their handkerchiefs to gain the attention of men.
Since then, the art of flirting has changed. Despite what many may think, flirting is not about getting someone to jump in the sack — that's called seduction. "Flirting should be natural, and it's best when it happens unexpectedly," Rabin says. "It has nothing to do with sex."
When Hillary Stroda, Chapman senior, went to Acapulco last year, she didn't intend to meet someone or have a spring
breakfling. Intoxicated guys wanted to hook up but she passed on their offers, she says. When she spotted a group of older men who were not trying to seduce her, she was relieved.
"It was refreshing. They
weren't trying to go us or take us home," Stroda says. She began talking to one of the guys but never ex p e c t e d anything to come of the conversation — he was from California and Stroda
RULES FOR SMILING
from Kansas. She says they continued to run into each other on the trip and now, a year later, they are dating.
- Pick a safe place
- Test-drive some different smiles on your friends
The fine art of seduction
But before heading off to your spring break destination, think about the motive behind your smile: Are you trying to seduce or to flirt?
Practice in the mirror
Check your attitude
Smile at five people a day
Source: Susan Rabin
If you plan on going with a motive to seduce,you should
Having good conversational skills and a warm smile are the best ways to flirt, Rabin says. Both qualities are subtle, not too aggressive and can lead to long-term relationships.
think of the consequences.
There are conditions to be aware of before you make your move, says Omri Gillath, assistant professor of psychology. First, know your personality. Are you very
liberal? Do you have a lot of sexual experience? Second, evaluate the environment you in. If you have a lot of sexual experience and are on spring break, you might come on too strong and wake up next to someone you don't know, he says."If you shouldn't drink and drive, then maybe you shouldn't drink and flirt;
Gillath says.
Before putting your game face on, think about the message you want to send. A simple smile can go a long way, but if you want to take someone to bed with you there's no need to flirt, Rabin says. "All you need to do is lean over in your bikini."
THE THREE 'A's OF FLIRTING
Attitude: Believe that it's OK to flirt.
→ Approach: Think about your approach and how you'll be approached by others. Are you going to lean in or stroke your hair?
Action: Don't wait,
just do it. If you wait
too long to talk to
someone, they might
leave before you
work up the nerve.
Source: Susan Rabin,
relationship coach
03.08.2007 JAYPLAY < 09