wspaper) Did
there's a section
Wescoe wit?
what?
arently, they big peoplesay newspaper.
totally got look off his
UDE
RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE HAWK TOPICS
1
BRITNEY SPEARS
SHAVES HER HEAD,
GETS NEW TATTOO.
Britney chose her new look after
Make-Wish Foundation visit to 1.
Britney chose her new look after unfortunately a recent **T**RAL appearance with a **M**ake-a-Wish Foundation visit to the cancer ward of a children's hospital.
2 A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT THE HUMAN BRAIN CAN PRODUCE NEW BRAIN CELLS TO REPLACE DEAD ONES.
Doctors warn that there still no hope for fans of Grey's Anatomy, as the brain damage is simply too severe.
3 PRINCE HARRY, SON OF THE LATE PRINCESS DIANA AND CURRENTLY SERVING IN THE BRITISH ARMY, COULD BE SENT TO IRAQ BY THE END OF FEBRUARY.
HOLYWOOD     MOVIE     PRODUCERS
ANNOUNCEMENT A NEW PROJECT BASED ON THE MULTIPLATINUM-SELLING FRAUDS
MUNYIUAN.
Modern pop stars - have learned valuable lessons from Milli Vanilli; for instance, platinum-selling - no talent like Fergie don't even sing to their own songs.
So, while Prince Harry is doding sniper fire and car bombs, Jenna and Barbara Bush will be downing Jello shots and jager bombs. God bless America.
NEW MEDICAL STUDIES FIND THAT MEN WHO GET VASECTOMIES ARE MORE LIKELY TO DEVELOP DEMENTIA
5
In a classic 'chicken or the egg' conundrum, the studies also revealed that a man who allows scissors anywhere near his knick is probably already suffering from dementia.
COUNTRY SINGER
KENNY CHESNEY
DENIES RUMORS
THAT HE IS GAY.
If Kenny Cheshire isn't givemay, then Palace Hilton isnt a disease-spreading where. Britten Speeley isn't batsht insane, and Anna Nicole Smith isn't drop-drunk dead.
ROCK SINGER
ROCK SINGER CHRIS CORNELL QUITS THE UPPER GROUP AUDIOSLAVE AFTER PERSONAL AND CREATIVE CONFLICTS WITH OTHER BAND MEMBERS.
FEDERAL ACCOUNTANTS FIND THAT MORE THAN $10 BILLION HAS BEEN SQUANDERED OR LOST IN IRAQ. The huge loss of money is particularly discouraging considering that before the war Saddam Hussein offered to sell the entire country of Iraq for a paltry $5 billion.
The band is reportedly set to join former Rage Against the Machine singer Zack de la Rocha in his group Pissed Off at the Toaster, (submitted by senior David Damn)
THE FDA ISSUES A BROAD WARNING AFTER HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY BECOME SICK FROM EATING CONTAMINATED PETER PAN PEANUT BUTTER.
The FDA also said that while they're "reasonably safe" salmonella can't be contracted by imwearing your pennials with peanut butter and allowing your dogs to kick it, they still strongly discourage and other borderline acts of bestiality.
10
'RESIDENT BUSH HAS TWO NON-CANCER MOLES REMOVED FROM HIS FACE, unfortunately, despite repeated attempt doctors, could not remove Bush's heal from his ass.
THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER JOKE? E-MAIL ME AT HAWKTOPICS@KAISAN.COM
Chris Raine
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD
02.22.2007 JAYPLAY < 07