RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE
HAWK TOPICS
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FORMER STRIPPER, PLAYMATE, REAUTY
SHOW STAR AND GOLD DIGGER ANNA
NICOLE SMITH DIES AT 39.
Anna Nicole died as she lived — mumbling incoherently while downing lethal amounts of diet pills, prescription drugs and alcohol.
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THE U.S. IS SET TO INTRODUCE NEW ONE DOLLAR COINS HONORING FORMER PRESIDENTS INTO CIRCULATION.
This is a terrible move. Do you realize how hard it is to tuck a coin into a G-string?
U.S. SENATOR BARACK OBAMA OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES HIS INTENTION TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT in 2008.
In other completely unsurprising antisemitic news, Anna Nicole with dropped dead of an apparent overdose.
FORMER NBA PLAYER JOHN AMAECHI ANNOUNCES THAT HE'S GAY, BECOMING THE FIRST NBA PLAYER TO PUBLICLY REVEAL HOMOSEXUALITY.
Mooseville,
WINBAR sta.
Lisa Lieberl announced that she's straight-
going to be a
WINBAR plays to
publish her
heterosexuality.
/ ASTRONAUT LISA NOWAK IS ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED FIRST-DEGREE MURDER AFTER SHE ATTACKS A WOMAN WHO WAS A RIVAL FOR ANOTHER ASTRONAUT'S AFFECTIONS.
This incident gives lame-ass asses nationwide the perfect excuse to once again use the line, "Houston, we have a problem."
THE ANTI DEFAMATION LEAGUE REPORTS THAT MEMBERSHIP IN THE KLU KUXL KLAN IS GROWING. LARGELY due to the OPPOSITION LIGEAL IMMIGRATION
The growth, has slowed, however, because the one thing that the Klan has done is to pour blood into p.o.t.safe stores from New York City.
HEALTH OFFICIALS ANNONSOUND THAT ONE OUT OF EVERY 150 CHILDREN IS AUTISTIC.
HARVARD HIRED ITS FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT IN THE 371-YEAR HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSITY.
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to commemorate the killing, the Harvard Grimson the school newspaper, will now only be published three
However, doctors quickly remind patients that autism is not the same as neurodiversity and thus those numbers cannot explain the
RESEARCHERS IN BERKELЕY CAULF, FIND THAT THE SCENT OF MEN'S SWEAT CAUSES INCREASED SEXUAL AROUSAL AND FASTER HEART RATES IN WOMEN.
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The researchers also found that shampoo use decreases sexual attractiveness, love is preferable to war and that Phish is, like the greatest band ever, man."
10 EDDIE MURPHY'S NORBIT OPENS AS THE NO. 1 MOVIE IN AMERICA. it's official—the terrorists have wo
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Chris Raine
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