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VALENTINE'S DAY
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAS
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Valentine's Day GUIDE
Play by the rules
BY RICHELLE BUSER
College students spend hours preparing for dates, but a few small mistakes could hamper the experience. However, there are easy ways to avoid common dating errors and ensure the night is filled with both fun and flirting.
Jeff King, licensed marriage and family therapist, said that clear cut rules don't exist, so couples should evaluate what works for them. Unfortunately, one or both people often move too quickly when dating, which can lead to angst on both parts.
"Too often, people dive into a romantic relationship and get involved in activities that carry with them high emotional stakes without examining what they are saving to themselves and to their partner with these behaviors." King said. By moving at a steady pace, daters can feel comfortable with the situation and its progression.
Before fixating on an evening of romance, one person's admiration for another must be revealed. In our society, the tradition of a man asking a woman on a date used to be a common custom because
advised the ladies to plan on paying if they ask a guay out.
Overall, it is important for each person to voice his or her feelings. No one is a mind reader, and a relationship can only develop if both people are aware of the others' intentions and feelings.
First impressions on a date can determine if the romance has a chance of success. Ingram suggested guys do a little something extra, such as bring "flowers, gifts, or candy ... she will brag on him for a week to her friends." Avoiding certain topics will also increase the likelihood of a second date.
"Steer clear from the topic of sex, your last relationship and any problems," Ingram said.
While trying to impress someone on a date is completely normal, it is important to maintain a sense of self.
"We are often willing to sacrifice core characteristics of ourselves in order to keep the relationship going, because we need their assurances and need them to like us." King said. "We believe we cannot afford to offend them by being ourselves and
being
authentic."
Sometimes situations arise that can tear relationships, both friendly and romantic, into shreds, King said. If you are dating multiple people, make your intentions known and be prepared to confront the issue, he said.
Dating a friend's ex can also lead to drama, King said. Contfronting that friend and making an effort to communicate can help resolve any tension. A friend won't always give a blessing in this situation. Beware that going against that person's wishes may cause the loss of the friendship all together.
Both King and Ingram said the golden rule applied to dating by asking yourself what you would do if the tables were turned. If the answer is unacceptable, it's time to reevaluate. The world of dating has highs and lows, but by avoiding some common mistakes and being considerate of one another couples are sure to have a positive experience.
Kansan correspondent Richelle
Buser can be contacted at editor@
kansan.com.
— Edited by Stacey Couch
TOP 10
10) Catch a game
Watching sports can facilitate great conversation.
19) Movie marathon
Make up a movie theme, like John Cusack movies, and pick a few to watch at home.
8) Coffee
Some coffee shops have an intimate atmosphere, which creates a romantic mood.
7) Museums
Museums are a great way to break the ice. The Spencer Museum of Art, located west of the Kansas Union, and the Natural History Museum, located in Dyche Hall, just south of the Kansas Union, are free for students.
6) Watch the sunset
For a romantic date, go behind Blake Hall, southeast of Watson Library, for a view of the city and the sunset.
5) Visit the antique shops
You can get to know the person by the things they look at.
4) Billiards
not only is billiards an active date, but it also allows the couple to be more intimate by showing each other the right technique 3) Home-cooked meal Plan and cook a meal together and see what gets cooking. 2) Walk around campus The campus offers great scenery. This date mixes conversation, walking and setting.
1) Dinner and a movie
A great date idea is eating at Rudy's Pizzeria, 704 Massachusetts St., and then catching an indie film at Liberty Hall, 642 Massachusetts St.
Chelsea Magruder
MISS. STREET DELI INC.
Sliced baked turkey country cottage
crisp fried turkey ranch-style bacon
tomatoes, garden fresh lettuce and
two slices of sharp cheddar cheese
The Deli Club
Gumbo
an unusual combination of beef, sausage, shrimp and chicken stirred in a crock stock of onion, peppers, sellers' eggs.
Grilled Chicken Salad
A sliced chicken breast marinated and grilled. Toasted garlic served with cheddar cheese, chopped bacon, croutons and your choice of herbs.
$4.50 $6.00 value
Full or Low Ride
$4.50 $6.00 value
Reuben
For the young at heart, hat-corned bake, big eye
wheat bread, or wide-wheel wheat bread. Side dish of thousand island
cheese and honey.
$4.50 $6.00 value
$4.50 $6.00 VAT
Relaxed approach key to holiday success
Dungan had planned on cooking Carroll dinner, but late-night play rehearsal will keep him busy until around 10 p.m.
BY JACQUE LUMSDEN
"After rehearsal, I will probably go over to her place, hang out and watch 'Prison Break.'" Dungan said.
The stores have been ready for Valentine's Day since the day after Christmas. However, people in relationships may not be as prepared for this stressful holiday.
The skeptics like to say it's an over-commercialized holiday created by the greeting card industry. The hopeless romantics of the world, however, proclaim Feb. 14 as one of their favorite days of the year. When a relationship consists of two people with differing opinions of the holiday, things can get tricky.
The two have already discussed that, because the relationship was fairly new, they were going to keep the holiday low-key to avoid any unnecessary tension. However, Carroll said she was still excited for the holiday.
"The tension and expectations really ruin Valentine's Day." said Chris Crandall, professor of psychology.
14 like any other day.
Louise Carroll, Tulsa, Okla,
senior, and George Dungan, Lincoln,
Neb., freshman, plan to spend Feb.
"Before I had a boyfriend, I thought the holiday was invented by the greeting card industry, but now it is nice to know that I will have someone to spend the day with," Carroll said.
"It is almost never a bad idea to share your expectations beforehand for two reasons." Crandall said. "Either you will be pleasantly surprised, or you will think it is a disaster, and early disasters are better than late ones."
Crandall said that the approach Carroll and Dungan have taken was the best approach toward a pressure-filled holiday because they had
Kansan correspondent Jacque Lumsden can be contacted at editor@kansan. com.
BY ALLIE WILMES
already shared their expectations.
Edited by Ashley Thompson
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BAD VALENTINE'S DAY DATES?
HANNAH DECLERK
Tulaa, Okla., sophomore
"I was dating a guy last year
and all I got was a Happy
Valentine's Day Facebook
message."
What do you think?
MOLLY GAECKLE
Sioux Falls, S.D., freshman
"You mean the fact that my best Valentine's Day was watching 'The Notebook' with my girlfriends and basking in our lameness."
KEVIN BRENNAN Sioux Falls, S.D., sophomore "I feel sorry for the girls because they are the only ones that care."
ALL DAY • EVERY DAY $ 2.00 FAT TIRE PINTS ALL DAY • EVERY DAY
BRENT CARPENTER Wichita junior "Either I don't have a girlfriend or we've been together long enough that it isn't bad"
KELLY CLARK Overland Park junior "All Valentine's Day dates are bad."
Get Some Lovin' this Valentine's Day... At Jayhawk Bookstore