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I WAS DOING MY GIRL FRIEND FROM BEHIND AND SHE FARTED. I WAS SO SHOCKED, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I JUST PRETENED LIKE I DIDN'T HEAR. BUT I KNOW SHE'S UPSET ABOUT IT. HOW CAN I LET HER KNOW I DON'T THINK SHE'S GROSS?
— MATT, JUNIOR
MATT, JUNIOR FIRST PRINTED APRIL 22, 2004
Bob*CK, first of all, what happens in the bedroom, or bathroom, should stay there. I don't give a shirt to your girlfriends' fidelity. If you are so worried about talking to her about it, what the hell will you put it in the dumb newspaper? You might as well climb the stairs and that she rips at腋涡; i hope she reads this and dumps your lame ass. Mentioning this in the paper means that you don't respect her feelings. You are here about ready to end a relationship over one little test. Shame on you. You could just run down to Pincilla and buy some fluff plugs, but by the time she reads this it will
Chris B.: Everyone farts. This can inescapable fact of life.
—like death or taxes. Just like everyonepoor and peefs,fairs are a biophysical action thatconnects us all with a common thread.I think that you did thegentlemanly thing by pretendingthat it didn't hurt it, butif yourgirlfriend brought it upafterward you should have justmade her understand the facts
that have stated above and assure her that she is not gross (granted) when she farted it didn't come with puffs of green smoke like it does in the cartons; When my ex waked she felt gross and demanded that I fast so that he would be happy, so guess that if you need to really show her that you don't think she is young you could squeeze out a little stinker the next time she's down on you.
Elizabeth just tell her that you should look beautiful no matter what and leave it at that. Forget about the little "farting incident" altogether and if it does happen to come up play dumpl and act like you haven't the slightest idea what she's talking about.
**Christ:** OK, this may be hard to be believe, but girls actually DO go #2. They even fart from time to time! I'm serious! I couldn't believe it either. Don't bring up her farting incident because that's going to make her think you've been thinking about it a lot. And the next time she's down on you, try to rip one.
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND GOES TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL AND
SHE'S GOING TO BE IN LAWRENCE THIS WEEKEND. I REALLY
WANT TO HOOK UP WITH HER, BUT MY GIRLFRIEND WILL
FREAK OUT. SHOULD I DO IT ANYWAY?
—— IAN, SOPHOMORE
FIRST PRINTED MARCH 4, 2004
Maggie: Either hook up with your ex girlfriend this weekend and kiss your girlfriend goodbye (but not literally) or hook up with your girlfriend every weekend but kiss your girlfriend every way, you gonna get some. It's just a matter of how much more you will get after that.
Talan? Are you freaking out of your mind? Might as well get yourself a cruxifix, like a hammer and a knife waiting for your girlfriend to Cut your bails off. You have a girlfriend dude, and it is NOT cool to be getting on with another girl when she shows up. She can actually an xo for that matter, I'm sure that as much as you would like to see some mud wrestling between the two of them, they will most likely resort to taking off their titties before they meet her. So give the other with it. So you want advice? Just don't do it.
Elizabeth: Despite any sound advice or suggestions that I may offer you my guess is that you will probably go ahead and hook up with your ex. Seriously consider the possible repercussions of your actions and protect yourself and be forewarned that you will hurt your girlfriend far more than you realize it. Is really worth it?
**Chris:** if your girlfriend finds out, she'll freak out. And you're an idiot.
THIS WEEK'S BITCH+MOAN
Three years ago a guy told me he would never marry a girl who didn't know how to cook. I hear the same advice all the time, people before I decided to buy a cookbook
I knew nothing about the art, so I decided Cooking for Dummies would be a good place to start. The first two chapters were about proper organization of the kitchen and economical and strategic grocery shopping. When my friend asked me if I had made anything yet, told him I was still on chapter three, the hygienic handling of meat.
still trying to perfect the only dish I'd even attempted to make plain white rice I didn't know exactly how much salt I needed, but much butter. Cooking was a nightmare and I wasn't even cooking anything yet.
One year later my repertoire consisted of little more than scrambled eggs, peanut butter and jelly. I added a little rice Six months after that, people wanted to know
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02. 08.2007 JAYPLAY <13