ANSAN
2006
THE UNIVERSITY DAIRY KANSAS
NEWS
5A
few
main
cut
who
that
erned
kicked
said
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see
VIOLENCE (CONTINUED FROM 4A)
The Effects Of Abuse
Women's Transitional Care Services of Lawrence provides shelter, services and advice for victims of relationship abuse like Duensing. Sarah Terwelp, the organization's executive director, contributed a variety of factors contributed to recurring abuse by people like Duensing's boyfriend, from jealousy to a lack of personal boundaries.
"They begin to isolate their mate and use espionage tactics against her," Terwelp said. "They'll go as far as checking mileage on the victim's car to timing their errands. They appear to feel no emotional guilt even after recognizing the abuse on an intellectual level."
Terwalp said she thought a university atmosphere where alcohol was easily available and frequently used could contribute to or accelerate abuse in victims.
"Alcohol is not the cause of abuse." Terwelp said. "Yet with any situation, alcohol makes people more aggressive physically or just the opposite and less aggressive physically. For some people who use these substances they are going to have less of an inhibition about doing things and letting things happen."
Dolores Moseley, victim and witness coordinator for the Douglas County District Attorney's office, helps victims of relationship abuse seek restraining orders, secure transitional care services and prosecute the abusers. Moseley said she had interacted with many cases of abuse involving both KU students and faculty throughout the years, and that many times abusers blame alcohol for their actions.
Moseley said many cases weren't prosecuted because victims attempted to recant or minimize the impact of the crime, for fear of retribution or embarrassment within their social circles, which includes the abuser. She said many of the victims blamed themselves for the abuse, instead of the abusers.
"They'll say 'I was drunk' and try to give excuses," Moseley said. "We try to help them understand that it isn't their fault. We try to prevent the abuse from happening again and keep them safe and make the abuser accountable in their behavior."
On campus, Abell works to prevent further abuse and helps victims cope with academic life by communicating with professors and victims to switch classes when Although such programs may help. Terwelp
signs of abuse
If your partner is
- Demeaning
- Threatening
- Controlling
- Destructive
- Constantly critical
Contact either of these organizations for help:
- Emily Taylor Women's Resource Center (on campus) (785) 864-3552
- Women's Transitional Care Service of Lawrence (24-hour hotline)
(785) 843-3333
(800) 770-3030
believes the key to ending abuse lies in tighter sanctions and greater enforcement of domestic violence laws.
by a society that will hold him accountable for his behavior and not tolerate it anymore," Terwelp said. "Survivors need the community to hold abusers accountable and provide resources in which the survivor can achieve and maintain safety."
Even when the physical wounds of abuse begin to fade, victims still need help with psychological and emotional pain on the long road to healing.
"The abuser can only be stopped
Elizabeth Lord, a senior at Wichita State University, ended an abusive relationship but continued to suffer mood swings and sleep deprivation. Lord said it was important to deal with these effects by getting involved with a community of positive support. She said she learned to cope with her experience by becoming an advocate for victims.
"I would give advice to a victim to get counseling." Lord said "Get a support network of family and friends and continue to stay busy in the form of school work or church
After Duensing ended her abusive relationship, her family and friends pushed her to seek help from counselors or psychologists. Yet she decided her road to healing had to be traveled alone.
"I believe that if you are going to truly heal you have to heal from within." Duensung said. "I try to do things on my own. That is one of the reasons why I feel so strong and confident now, because I've done it on my own."
Today, Duensing recognizes how damaging it was to keep silent
or anything like that."
"Do not wait to take action?"
Duensing said. "The sooner you stop this, the better it will be. Do not do what I did and let it ride out, because that's when it gets worse."
Recently, Duensing filled a box with pictures, stuffed animals, notes, diaries and dried flowers — memnertos of her long abusive relationship — and drove out onto a country road. She built a blazing fire with the help of a new, supportive boyfriend, and the two of them watched as the physical remnants of years of pain went up in smoke. As the flames tore through the box and it burned to ash, Duensing finally extinguished the years of pain.
Kansan staff writer Courtney Hagen can be contacted at chagen@ kansan.com.
Edited by Kate Shipley
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