Elizabeth Blasco and Chris Tackett
[Advice in the fast lane.]
I don't like to swallow when I go down on my boyfriend. I just spit it out and he gets offended! I hope you agree that he is way out of line.
Annie, Senior
Elizabeth: Of course he is out of line! Tell that unappreciative bastard that either you spit or you don't go down at all.
Chris: I think if you're willing to go downtown, your boyfriend should be satisfied with that. I think spitting it out can definitely lead to an awkward moment, but if you don't want to do it, you don't have to. The next time he brushes his teeth after giving you oral, you better not bitch.
I went potluck in the dorms and got a really creepy roommate. She snoops through my things and I've caught her wearing my panties! Do you think there is something sexual going on?
Kayla, Freshman
Elizabeth: Since I don't know your roommate, it's hard for me to say what's going on. Make her Internet homepage www.victoriassecret.com. In the meantime, you may want consider switching rooms, unless you want to hook up with her.
Chris: It sounds like your roommate doesn't have any clothes. I would take her shopping and help her buy some nice clothes of her own. And she wants to do you.
Last weekend I shacked up with a girl that I barely know and the next morning I wasn't sure when to leave. What's the morning after policy?
Justin, Junior
Elizabeth: As soon as you sober up enough to know what happened, get the hell out.
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If you have burning questions, don't wait 'til they're flaming. Write to bitch@kansan.com and we'll try to soothe the flare up
Chris: Here's what you do: If it's your house, just pretend to be asleep until she leaves. Even if she doesn't have a car she'll eventually wander off. If you crashed at her place, play it by ear. If you like her and feel it's mutual, stick around. It's always fun to get some food together the next day. If you hate yourself for going home with the skunk lying beside you, try to slide out of the bed without waking her up. If you have to leave your clothes there, do it. Just try to make it out without anyone seeing you.